Chapter 57
Liz, April 18
It’s 5 AM. Too early to expect him to be awake, but here I am, standing on his doorstep anyway. The cold bites through my jacket, and I hope the cab driver actually knew where he was going. I knock once. No answer.
I knock again, harder this time. I have come this far, dammit. You will be home.
I shift my weight from foot to foot, gripping the handle of the small black suitcase I’ve brought. The early morning air is still, almost expectant, and my stomach tightens—not from the cold, but from the uncertainty waiting behind the door.
I take a deep breath. No more hesitating. I decided to be here. And if he’s awake, or if he isn’t, I will see this through.
Chapter 58
Ben, April 18
“Are you…is that…” I can’t even form the words.
“Yes, and it’s cold. Can I please come in?”
It’s her. Standing in the early morning chill. I step aside immediately. “Yes, of course. Come in.” I take her luggage, grateful to have something familiar to handle. “What are you doing here?”
“I was in the neighborhood.” She laughs lightly, and it’s like sunlight breaking through clouds. That single sound carries all her happiness, all her ease. “Just kidding, geez, smile a little.” She nudges me with her foot. “I just needed to see you. How are you?”
The absurdity hits me all at once. I can’t help it—I laugh. Not a polite laugh, but a full, deep laugh from the toes up. My eyes water, my sides ache. When I finally regain control, she’s sitting on my couch, eyes alight, watching me like I’ve completely lost my mind. Maybe I have.
“Feel better?” she asks, calm, composed, as if she’s been expecting this reaction.
“Much.” I chuckle softly, wiping my eyes. “So… Liz, what are you really doing in England?” I settle on the coffee table across from her and, for the first time, notice the bare left hand—no ring.
“I needed a change of scenery for a while. Something was missing, and I needed to sort it all out before…” She trails off, but the gentle rubbing of her belly makes the rest obvious.
“It’s been a long time,” I mutter. Obviously, I’m a wanker.
“Yes, and I’m sure we’re both very different people now. I just…” Her voice fades, unsure.
I glance down at her belly, then at myself, realizing I’m still in a towel. Embarrassment shoots through me. “I’m going to get dressed. Can I get you anything while I’m up?”
“Coffee?”
“Tea?” I offer.
“Perfect.” She smiles, and it’s the sort of smile that makes the entire flat feel warm.
Chapter 59
Liz, April 18
I still can’t believe I had the guts to do it. Here I am, sitting in a flat in London, in Ben’s living room. My heart is a strange mix of eagerness and nerves, like I’ve been strapped onto a rollercoaster I volunteered for.
Four days ago, I realized that no one in my life has ever understood me like Ben. When I imagined raising this child with Matt, I pictured myself handling everything while still saying, “he’s a great Daddy.” That thought gave me confidence. I can do this alone, just as I could when Matt worked long hours. Nothing about my capability has changed. I’ll still be an awesome mom, and Matt still contributed some badass DNA. He and I simply have different priorities.
But then, four days ago at Ashley’s party, I allowed a different kind of fantasy to sneak in. What if I went to London and found Ben? What if there was something between us? What if he wanted me? What if I could love him—and he could love me back?
The “what ifs” that usually derailed me dissolved. Instead, a new drive took over: to hear Ben’s voice, see his face, and test whether I could exist fully as myself in his presence. I felt capable, finally, of having this conversation.
“Well, hello there.” The voice from the hallway is teasing and somehow familiar. But I don’t recognize the dark-haired young man leaning in the doorway, wearing only boxers, a lit cigarette dangling from his lips.
“Hi.” I smile, steady and deliberate.
