Ben: Think about it. I am the excuse for why you can’t be with Matt, right?
Liz: Not exactly.
Was that even true? What was my excuse for not taking up Matt’s offer? What would it hurt to go on a date with Matt? I like Matt. He’s funny and caring. He’s always been a great friend. I guess I’d just never thought of him in a romantic way before.
Ben: But on some level…
On some level, if you were here I’d want to date you so it would be a problem, yes. But you’re not here, you’re far away. Matt is here and he’s a great guy.
Liz: I suppose.
Ben: Why?
Damn him. He wasn’t going to be happy unless I admitted I’d want to date him, was he?
Liz: I don’t know. We have something, don’t we?
Please don’t make me define something. Please don’t make me define something.
Ben: But have what? Liz, I adore you, but where does it lead? Are you moving to England anytime soon?
Thank you.
Liz: You know I can’t. I don’t even know anything about teaching there. My life is here.
Ben: Exactly. I’m not moving there either, you know that. I think I’ve become your excuse, babe, and that sucks.
What the hell is he getting at? Is he serious?
Liz: Ben, this isn’t funny.
Ben: I am going to do something crazy. In return, you will do something crazy. Deal?
Liz: That depends on what you’re talking about.
Ben: Always on guard, aren’t you?
Yes.
Liz: With good reason. People with their guards down get hurt.
Ben: They also get lonely. Let your guard down for me, Liz.
I am annoyed that Ben wants me vulnerable. I’ve made it my life’s mission never to be that again. But where has that gotten me? I’m twenty-seven, single, and driving away men who might be interested. Maybe it’s time to trust someone. Might as well be Ben. Grudgingly, I respond.
Liz: Fine. Damn you. You risk, I risk. Now what?
I wait for his response. I mentioned I’m impatient, right? It’s worse when you feel vulnerable and exposed. The phone finally vibrates in my hand.
Ben: Now I block you. My something crazy is letting you go. Your something crazy is calling Matt. Go out with him this weekend. Let your guard down. Open your heart. Give it a chance. If it goes somewhere, be happy — and remember me only occasionally. If it doesn’t, try again. But never give up. Prove for us both that love exists. Goodbye, babe.
Liz: Wait, are you serious?
I tap my foot as I wait. Nothing. I hit him again.
Liz: This is stupid.
Liz: Ben
