“No, really. It was so… vivid. I felt like I could see it all, like a moviein my mind. And just—everything you did with the characters—it was really brilliant. If you ever want eyes on your writing or notes or anything, I’d love to read anything you write.”
My mind is racing as I struggle to form a response.
“Yeah. Yeah, that would be great. I’ll send you something.”
“Awesome,” he says, face stretching into a grin I know so well. “I can’t wait to read it. And then maybe we could get coffee. Talk about writing. I’d love to pick your brain about how you come up with your ideas.”
I tell him it’s a plan. We say bye.
I should be elated—this is my shot—but instead, I feel awful. It’s been odd, seeing Ellie all semester. He’s still the Ellie I love, smart and passionate—he just treats me like a stranger. This is the moment I’ve been hoping for, our first moment of true connection since the party.
And it’s based on nothing but a sham.
“I think you should go to the health center.”
I moan through the pain. My throat is onfire. I feel a cold hand on my forehead, force my eyes open, and find Madison standing over me.
“It’s only a cold,” I say.Tryto say. My throat isn’t exactly cooperating. “You should get away from me. Don’t want to get you sick.”
I feel a pang as I say that. I miss Madison. It seems like we’re always missing each other. I’m caught up with Alex; she’s caught up with Patrick. But I remind myself that’s agoodthing. By this point in our first life, she’d already suffered her first Jake-induced heartbreak.
This is better. Iknowit’s better, but sometimes when wedohang out, she seems… distant.
Once upon a time, I would have taken this personally, but one of the great things that comes with age is the realization that most people’s attitudes aren’t about you. A friend being snippy is usually due to something going onin their life, not because they secretly hate you or are upset with you. So I remind myself that her attitude probably isn’t personal, and I move on.
She leaves for class, and I stay awake just long enough to email my professors that I’ll have to sit this one out. In the past, I might have popped some meds and headed to class anyway, but not now. I’m doing my civic duty by staying in my room.
I check my phone and see I have a text from an unsaved number. I open it and am filled with mixed emotions when I realizewhyit’s unsaved.
It’s Ellie.
He says he wants to make sure I have his number. That he can’t wait to read more of my writing. He even includes his email address so I know where to send it. Asks if next weekend is good for coffee.
I glare at his wording. Hewants to make sure I have his number?Hmm, Ellie. I wonderwhyI don’t have your number.
Instead of doing something I’ll regret like responding when I’m angry, I go back to sleep.
I reawaken to three texts, all from Alex, sent in the middle of Intro to Film.
Alex: You playing hooky?
Then:
Alex: You should have warned me, I wouldn’t have bothered showing up.
And last:
Alex: I never noticed how boring this class is without you. Do I actually want to major in film, or is the fact that this is our only class together making me biased?
I roll my eyes, unable to contain my smile at his words, then let out a hacking cough.
Ugh.
I’m covered in a clammy sheen of sweat, and my entire body aches. Is this the flu? It’s only now I realize I forgot to get my vaccine. Oops.
Me: I’m sick. Sorry, I don’t think I’ll be able to hang out this weekend like we planned.
Alex: Sick how? Do you need anything?
