“Theo,” she looks at him, “if you can shut the lights.” He turns off the lights and then comes to stand beside me.
“Is this okay?” He asks me as I lay back on the table. I nod at him, and he puts his hand in mine and squeezes it. I have to think he’s probably just as nervous as me. I mean, it’s not every day that your life is thrown into chaos because of a random hookup.
She takes out a tissue exam sheet that covers me from the waist down. She tucks it into the top of my shorts. “Ready?” she asks me. Theo squeezes my hand, and I squeeze his back. She squirts the gel onto my stomach, then takes the transducer and presses it down.
My eyes go to the screen, waiting to see the baby. She presses a couple of buttons, and a sound like a bunch of horses galloping in a field fills the room. “That’s the baby’s heartbeat,” she says, and Theo gasps. It’s fast.
“Is that normal?” he asks, looking at me and then at the doctor.
“Totally normal,” she says. “Okay, so you’re ten weeks and three days.” She moves the transducer on my stomach to the bottom and then clicks a couple of buttons. “The baby is about 1.25 inches long.” She smiles. “Looks like they’re a bit big.”
“Great.” I look at the screen and see the baby, tiny arms and legs moving. A sense of unconditional love soars through me.
“Is that the baby?” Theo moves his head closer to the screen. “It’s official? She’s having my baby?”
“She is,” Dr. Louis confirms. As she explains all the parts to him, the only thing I can do is stare at the screen. I move my hand up to wipe away a tear, silently telling our baby how much I love them.
“It’s okay,” Theo whispers softly and then moves his face to me. I hold my breath, thinking he’s going to kiss my lips, but instead he kisses my forehead. “It’s all good. The baby is perfect.” The room is dimly lit, but I can see the huge smile on his face. “She’s perfect.”
“We don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy.” I look at Dr. Louis.
“I can’t get a clear picture,” she says, “but what I can say is everything looks like it’s going good.” She presses two more buttons, and ultrasound pictures are printed out.
“That is for you.” She hands them to me and takes a towel to clean the gel from my stomach.
“Thank you.” I sit up as she wheels away from me and turns on the light. “I want to see you in a month. Congratulations, you two.”
“Do we need to do anything to make sure she’s okay?” he asks, and I sit up. I’m looking at the picture in my hand, too distracted to pay attention to what they’re saying. It makes it so much more real. My free hand goes to my stomach in reflex, as if to hold him or her.
Dr. Louis steps out and quickly returns with a folder of information, which Theo takes for me.
“Thank you again for squeezing me in at the last minute, Dr. Louis. We should get going.” Theo helps me down, and I look at him, then at Dr. Louis. “I’ll call the office later to make my next appointment.”
“See you later,” she says. “I’ll be at the hospital this evening.”
“Um,” I hold up my hand to tell her that we’re not telling anyone.
“Your secret is safe with me,” she quickly adds, then glances at my belly. “But it won’t be a secret for much longer.”
When we walk out of the office and make it to his truck, Theo gets in and looks over at me. “Do you think . . .” He starts and then stops, and I can tell he’s nervous.
I reach out to touch his hand. “Do I think?”
“It’s okay if you say no,” he rushes out, “but do you think I could get one of those pictures?”
Tightness forms in my chest. “Of course,” I quickly say. “I’ll cut one as soon as I get home.”
He smiles, and neither of us says anything for the rest of the drive home, processing the appointment and the situation we’ve found ourselves in.
“You going to take a nap now?” he asks me as he turns into the driveway. I nod. “Okay, I won’t keep you. I’ll get the picture tonight.”
I lift my hand to the handle. “Thank you for taking me today.”
“It was the best fucking day of my life.” His voice is booming, the grin on his face from ear to ear. The crinkle at the side of his eyes is pinching. “Thank you for letting me come with you.”
“You’re welcome.” I linger for a second. “I’ll text you later.”
“Have a nice nap,” he says as I get out and shut the door, not turning around and heading straight into the house.
