“Yeah.” He laughs. “Sorry, I’ll call Lilah.”
“That would be a better idea. I didn’t even want to touch anything in there yesterday when I was looking for your shirt,” I tell him. “So it’s safe to say I’m not going to be doing that ever again. If you want me to bring you food, I’m the guy. I can even arrange to have shit cleaned up or fixed, but I’m not going through drawers and shit.”
He laughs. “Got it. Okay, are you coming by today?”
“I was there this morning when I brought everyone coffee,” I remind him. “You were going to pull your hair out of your head when Sierra refused to listen to you and stay in her bed.”
“This morning feels like a year ago,” he laments.
“Tell me about it.”
“Everything okay with you?”
No, I almost say, but the last thing he needs right now is me raining down on him. Plus, what could I possibly say? I had a one-night stand two months ago, and now she tells me she’s having my baby. I close my eyes. “I’m good. I’m going to be you today and pretend to work, and drive around to the worksites.”
“Go fuck yourself.” He laughs and then dead air. The screen is back to my screen saver, a picture of the lake right behind my parents’ house, with the rising sun reflecting on the water. I took it on what was supposed to be the best day of my life. It ended up being the worst. Now it’s a reminder to never let myself feel the way I did that day. I’ll never put myself out there like that again. I exhale as I pull away from the bakery.
I go through the motions of the day, stopping at the seven worksites we have.
When I finally get home, I park the truck and get out. As the door slams shut, a red car pulls up at the curb. I squint to see who the fuck it is.
The driver’s side door opens, and a woman with curly black hair slides out. Her eyes come to mine when she smiles.
“I thought that was you.” She closes her door. “I’m shocked you’re back in town.” She walks around her car. She’s wearing a pair of jeans with a tank top. Her long hair is over her shoulder and hits the middle of her stomach.
“Um, Claire,” I say as she walks up the driveway. I’m surprised because I’ve never once brought a woman here. “How did you know where I lived?”
“I saw your truck when I was leaving my friend’s house.” She points to the corner. “Don’t you want to invite me in?” I think she just actually batted her eyelashes at me.
“Not really.” We shared a night four months ago, and each time I saw her after that, I made it pretty fucking clear it was never going to happen again. Apparently, not clear enough from this conversation. “I’m sort of seeing someone.” I know it’s a bit of a stretch since I literally just saw Collins today, and I have no idea what is going to come next. However, I’m 1,000 percent certain that I’m not going to go there again with Claire or anyone until we talk things out.
The shock fills her face. “You said you didn’t have time to date,” she reminds me. It’s the excuse I used when I saw her in town over a month ago. “That you were busy with work and stuff.”
“It started recently.” I want nothing more than for this conversation to be over and to get her far away from me.
“Well, I’m okay with being in the mix.” She swings her shoulders back and forth. “Since it’s new and stuff. I?—”
“I’m not,” I say quickly to stop her from talking. “I never will be. I’m really sorry that you?—”
“So you were just going to string me along?” Her eyes go into slits.
“What?” I ask, shocked. “We hooked up one night four months ago, Claire. Since then, have I ever said anything that would make you think it would be more?” She cocks her hip to the side. “I haven’t, so with that, I’m going to say good night.” I turn to walk away.
“You’re going to regret this,” she snaps out. She storms back to her car and peels away.
I look up to the sky and put my hands on my hips. “This is shaping up to be a clusterfuck of a day.” I then take both hands and rub them over my face before turning on my heel and heading inside.
I kick off my boots and step into the house. I’m standing at the fridge. It’s half empty, and what is in it needs to be thrown out. I close the fridge and go over to the couch, collapsing on it. My eyes go straight to the big-ass television set that hangs above the fireplace mantel.
I replay the conversation with Collins in my head again. I have been replaying it all fucking day long. When I was in my truck, driving from jobsite to jobsite. When one of the workers was filling me in, I randomly saw Collins’s face in my mind. I hated myself for not getting a word in. For not immediately going after her. All I did was sit there and stare at her like I wasn’t in my body. I mean, it’s not every day you are told you’re going to be a father. Especially after one night. A night when I made sure to protect myself. Shit, I’ve never been without protection since I knew I didn’t want this exact thing to happen.
I wanted to do this the old-fashioned way. Find a woman I couldn’t live without, marry her, and then the two of us would decide that we are going to have children. Not a one-night stand with a stranger and then, boom, the two of us are now going to be parents. Stuck to each other for the rest of our lives. The idea is so out of left field, I’m in a daze. I have no idea what to feel. How to feel.
I know one thing, though. I will never let a child, my child, be without me in their life. That will never happen.
I grab my phone to call her, and then close my eyes, gently using it to hit the middle of my head. “You don’t even have her fucking number,” I hiss out. “You are a tool.”
I head upstairs, taking a second to look around and see how empty the fucking house is. In my bedroom, I fall onto the king-size bed, staring up at the white ceiling. “She’s pregnant,” I say to myself. “She’s going to have a baby.” I put one hand on my stomach. “My baby.” I sit up. I fall back down on the bed and say the last words I thought I would ever say today, this week, this month, this year. “I’m going to be a fucking dad.”
