I feel a twinge of guilt at the memory of how I treated him. At the way his face fell when I introduced him as my carpenter. Such an asshole move. I don’t even know why I did it. I guess I panicked. Pooja’s arrival threw me off—I hadn’t had time to contemplate my own feelings, much less explain them to someone else. Which turned out to be pointless—Pooja is my best friend, and she saw right through me.
One thing I do know is that Jesse deserves an apology. As soon as this is over, I need to find him so I can explain.
After a few more minutes of small talk, Violet ushers everyone over to the kitchen table, where each of the Inas presents their dish. There are spinach dips and lemon-baked fish, asparagus and roasted potatoes. And most importantly, a pitcher of cosmopolitans. Violet pours each of us a drink in an oversized martini glass.
“How long are you planning to stay in the Poconos?” Caleb asks me.
“Just until the second week of August,” I reply. “School starts pretty early on the West Coast.”
“Jesse is not going to be happy,” Shelby clucks. She gives me a devilish smirk over the rim of her cosmo.
“Jesse? Like our Jesse?” Violet asks. She turns to me, wide-eyed. “You two are…?”
“Oh yes,” Shelby says smugly, answering the unfinished question. “You should have seen the two of them undressing each other with their eyes earlier.Myclothes almost melted off from the steam. And yesterday, I caught himsmiling.”
“No shit,” Violet breathes. “Jesse was smiling? I’m not sure I can picture that. He must really like you.”
Megan jumps in next. “With all the broody energy, I’ve alwayswondered how he screws—” Shelby throws her a death stare, and she blanches. “How he is with a screwdriver,” she finishes.
I bury my burning cheeks behind my hands.
“It’s nothing!” I protest.
“It’s not nothing,” Pooja chimes in.
“Whose side are you on?”
“Yours,” she says. “Trust me, no one wants to see you happy more than I do. And you, my friend, are happy. Those flushed cheeks of yours don’t lie.”
“Wow, good for Jesse,” Violet says. “Has he had a long-term relationship since Amber?”
Shelby shakes her head. “He’s dated a few women casually, but he’s never gotten serious with anyone else. Not that I blame him. That girl broke his heart and stomped all over the ashes.”
I raise my eyebrows. “What do you mean? Who is Amber?”
The rest of the group exchanges glances.
“I guess he hasn’t mentioned it,” Shelby says. Her expression is strained, and she seems to regret bringing it up in the first place. “Jesse and Amber were together through most of college and a few years after. He thought he was going to marry her. But she broke up with him not long after his father passed away. Left him for her roommate.” The lines around her mouth tighten and I can sense her protectiveness. Something tells me the whole family was impacted by this breakup.
Shelby straightens her shoulders and continues. “He was back in town, trying to stabilize the business. Keep it upright while we all figured out how to carry on in my father-in-law’s absence. Amber blamed the distance, but Jesse blamed himself, of course. That’s how he is. He takes on everyone else’s pain and puts himself last. Stretches himself thin. And then his poor mother.” She shakes her head. “To be honest, Jesse has never allowed himself to heal. Because doing so would require him to admit that something was broken.”
Violet stands and heads toward the kitchen. “I’m going to make another batch of cosmos. Can I get anyone else anything?”
The conversation shifts away from Jesse, pivoting to plans for fall sports enrollment and the guy Caleb has been seeing, who looks alarmingly like a man from a recent true crime documentary. But I’m having a hard time focusing. My thoughts keep drifting back to Jesse, and everything he’s been through. I can’t imagine losing so many people I loved in such a short period of time. What must that do to a person?
My inner monologue is interrupted by a clattering knock at the door. Before anyone can stand to open it, it swings open and a tall figure steps through. My heart knows who it is before my brain registers it. Jesse.
He catches a glimpse of us sitting in the living room, then straightens and clears his throat.
“Sorry to interrupt,” he says. His gaze flits across the room, and when his eyes find mine, the world tilts on its axis. I’m not sure if everyone has gone silent or I’m no longer processing sound, but I’m aware of nothing except the air in my chest and the blood thumping through my veins and him. Everything, everything is him.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey,” I say back.
A moment later, another figure stumbles in behind him. Toby. His face splits into a grin.
“Good evening, ladies,” he says. “It smells delicious in here. Would anyone mind if I made myself a plate?”
