“Our senior dishwasher was out, so I had to stay late to wash dishes. Oh, and Oren isn’t letting me take any more days off, because I’ve used up my leave time already, so I can’t go with you to LA. And I’m exhausted. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to jump in the shower.”
I’m too upset to even look at Jake, but as soon as I step into the bathroom, I can hear his footsteps behind me.
“Wait, are you serious? You’re really not coming to the show?”
I reach over to the tub and twist the handle upward, turning on the water. With a sigh, I lean back against the sink, crossing my arms.
“Yes, Jake, I’m really not coming.”
Jake’s brow furrows. “Can’t you switch around your schedule with someone? I know it’s inconvenient, but this is a big deal.”
“Well, I hate to break it to you, but in the real world, work doesn’t just stop for the VMAs.” My voice is harsher than I had intended; I can tell I’m on the verge of pushing too far, but I can’t seem to control the anger bubbling up inside me.
“Don’t you get it?” I continue. “My life isn’t like yours. People don’t just bend over backwards to accommodate me every time I make a request. Or have you already forgotten how Normal Humans live?”
Jake’s expression falls. “Is that really what you think of me?” he asks softly.
My chest tightens as I absorb the hurt in his tone. This is exactly why I didn’t want to have this conversation at 1A.M.Desperate to end this exchange before I say anything else I’ll regret, I step into the shower. But I’ve barely wet my hair when the curtain pulls back and Jake steps inside.
“Geez, have you ever heard of privacy?”
“We aren’t finished talking yet. You don’t just get to avoid me every time a topic of conversation gets uncomfortable.” Jake’s mouth is set in a hard line. Droplets of water run down the tips of his hair, getting caught on the tips of his eyelashes. His face softens. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you to take off work. I just hate the idea of being there without you.”
I close my eyes, letting the hot water run over me. “I’m sorry too. But you know how much I want to be there, right? I would never miss it if I had the choice.”
Jake nods. His eyes shift from my face down the length of my body, carefully watching my every movement as I pick up the soap bar and begin scrubbing the kitchen smells from my skin. His breathing hitches slightly, and I can sense his frustration beginning to melt away.
“Here, let me help you.” He takes the soap from my hands,rubbing it between his own to form a lather. Stepping behind me, he places his hands on my shoulders, massaging them into the tight muscles.
“That feels good,” I sigh as he kneads gently, my muscles loosening beneath his calloused fingertips. My body relaxes as he combs shampoo through my hair, and I allow my mind to go blank, all thoughts of dirty dishes and leave slips disappearing down the drain. He presses a soft kiss to the shell of my ear as his fingertips skim across my shoulders, drawing goosebumps even under the heat of the water. When I turn to face him, he presses his hands against the tile wall behind me, caging me in. His eyelashes lower to half-mast as he drinks me in, gaze locked intensely on mine, and I drape my arms around his neck, fingers drifting through his damp hair. My breathing grows labored as we stare at each other, until I can’t take it any longer, and I rise onto my tiptoes to meet his mouth with mine.
A low rumble in Jake’s throat sends a spark through me. I pull him closer, deepening the kiss, and soon I feel myself melting into him the way that I always do, the world around us fading like chalk illustrations in a rainstorm. When he finally pulls away, his expression is content and dreamy, a mirror to my own internal state. His thumb skates across my cheekbone, and the tender way he’s staring down at me robs the air from my lungs.
“Come on,” he says huskily. “Let’s get you to bed.”
But by the time he dries me off gently with a towel and tucks me beneath the sheets fifteen minutes later, I feel unsettled again. And deep down, I know things are only going to get worse from here.
JAKE FLIES BACK TONew York the Monday after the VMAs. He lost both awards. When his black Suburban arrives outside my apartment shortly after 6P.M., I open the car door and slip into the back seat beside him.
“Hey.” He leans forward to kiss me. His leather bracelets brush my cheek as he cups my chin. Then he slinks back into his seat, staring straight ahead. I struggle to read his vacant expression.
“Sorry about your loss. You were robbed, obviously.” I offer a small smile, desperate to break the uncomfortable silence. Our schedules have been so busy that we’ve barely spoken since he left for Los Angeles two days ago, and the tension is palpable. I reach up to chew my nail but stop midair, twisting my hands together in my lap instead.
Jake’s voice is flat, his eyes in his lap. “I don’t care about the awards. I just wish you had been there.”
“You know I wanted to be, Jake.” The rest of the statement is left unspoken, but it’s still there, wedged between us.
He sighs. His face softens as he reaches for my hand. “Yeah, I know.”
I give his fingers a tight squeeze. “I’ll be there next time.”
He attempts a smile, but the empty words hang in the air, taunting us in silence. Because the truth is, we both know I can’t make that promise.
IT’S BEEN AGES SINCEI last dined at Mr Chow, Tribeca’s glamorous if wildly overpriced Chinese restaurant, but the place is exactly as I remember it. Crisp white tablecloths, glossy surfaces, oversized floral arrangements. Not the best place to avoid being photographed, but I wanted to take Jake somewhere nice to make up for missing the VMAs. To celebrate his nomination, even if he lost this time.
The maître d’ is escorting us to our table when I hear Jake’s name. A hand shoots out from the booth beside us, snaking itself around his wrist. My eyes follow it up a long, pale arm, which is attached to a woman with a head of crimson waves and a toothy smile. Madison St. James. Of fucking course.
“Jake!” she squeals. “I didn’t realize you were also flying into New York today! We could have shared a plane!”
