“Come on, Jake. That’s bullshit, and you know it. You were famous for, what, twelve seconds and you thought I’d go running to TMZ? To, what, tell them about our favorite episodes ofGolden Girls? Do you really think that little of me?”
Jake’s face pales. “No, of course not. I—”
“Just because your roommate went allSingle White Femaleon you, that doesn’t mean I would have done the same. But you never gave me a chance to prove otherwise. And what about before all of that happened? You completely dropped off the face of the earth. Like, who does that?”
Jake looks absolutely miserable. “I fucked up. I got wrapped up in the thrill of it all, and then I was so rattled by what happened with Luke that I let it completely cloud my vision. It’s a shit excuse, but it’s the truth. I know I hurt you, Lex, and that’s what kills me the most. Trust me, I’d do anything to take it back.” We sit in painful silence for a few more moments, until finally Jake pushes himself up to a standing position.
“It’s late. I should really get going.” He heads toward the front door and I trail wordlessly behind him. He pulls the door open, then turns to face me.
“Thank you, again, for everything. For dinner, and for giving me a chance to explain myself. I’m so happy to hear about your new job. I wish you nothing but the best. You deserve nothing but the best.” He leans forward, pressing a kiss to my forehead. My eyelids flutter shut as I savor the feeling of his lips against my skin, the heat of his body so close to mine. Then he steps through the threshold and into the hallway. I’m just about to close the door behind him when I hear his voice again, low and strangled.
“I came back here once.”
I freeze, my fingers tightening around the doorframe. “What?”
He turns back to me, his expression tortured. “I did a concert in Elmont, but I had a meeting in the city the day before. I walked over afterwards and stood outside your building. I was dying to see you, but I couldn’t bring myself to ring the bell. I guess I was afraid of how you’d react, that you would hate me for what I did. I know I would.”
He bites on his bottom lip and shrugs. “I never forgot about you, Lexi. And I never will. I know that what I did was inexcusable.I just hope that one day, you’ll be able to forgive me anyway.” He turns to leave again, and something tightens inside me. Maybe it’s the earnestness of his apology, or how right it felt to be with him again tonight. All I know is, I’m tired of being angry.
I’m well aware that for most people, this is where the story would end. If Ali were in my shoes, she’d slam the door in Jake’s face, open a pint of ice cream, and never think about him again. But I’m not Ali. Yes, Jake made a mistake, but it didn’t come from a place of malice. And the fact is, he’s been burned too. Even though the rational side of my brain tells me I should close the door, both literally and metaphorically, and put this chapter of my life behind me, I just can’t bear the thought of letting another person I care about walk out of my life. Not this time.
“Don’t go.” The words slip out before my brain has a chance to stop them. “Stay here. With me.”
Jake’s jaw falls open, and I’m not sure which one of us is more shocked by the invitation. But my mouth, now operating entirely of its own accord, continues its rambling.
“Look, I don’t see how we can be together again. But I’m willing to try and be your friend. I think you could use one right now. And yeah, it’s not exactly The Pierre, but I’ve got the spare bedroom and all. I know you’re tired of bouncing from one hotel room to another, and honestly, I wouldn’t hate the company.”
Jake runs a hand through his already tousled brown hair, tugging at the roots as he considers my invitation.
“You sure? It wouldn’t be an imposition?”
“Not at all.” I can’t believe what I’m saying right now. It’s so impulsive, so unwise. So incredibly unlike me. But when I’m around Jake, I feel like a completely different person. Someone unrestricted by rules and consequences. I wonder how far I’ll let myself go. How far I’ll swim out into the deep end, untethered by a life jacket, before the tide pulls me under. And the truth is, this new revelation has shifted something within me. Despitethe cautionary voices in my head, I’m dying to find out what will happen next.
Jake offers me a small smile. “In that case, I’m in.”
WHEN I STEP OUTof my bedroom the next morning, the first thing I see is Jake sprawled out on the living room floor, doing crunches. My eyes zero in on the sweat glistening across his bare chest, his muscles rippling beneath his tan skin. It takes tremendous effort to tear my eyes away and walk into the kitchen.
“Good morning. Hope I didn’t wake you up, but I couldn’t sleep. Still getting over the jet lag.”
“No worries,” I reply, not daring to glance back in his direction as I head into the kitchen to switch on the coffee maker. It’s then that I notice a tin-foil-covered plate on the island.
“What’s this?” I ask. Jake stands up and rests his hands on his waist.
“I, uh… made you some breakfast.” I lift the edge of the aluminum to see some half-burnt scrambled eggs and a piece of buttered toast. When I turn back to him, the tips of his ears go pink.
“It’s not much,” he admits sheepishly. “I definitely don’t have your skills. But I don’t want you to feel like you have to do all the cooking while I stay here. Plus, I wanted to do something for you, as a thank-you for letting me crash.”
I press my hands into the counter, gripping the edge tightly to slow my racing heart.Chill out, Lexi. It’s breakfast, not a marriage proposal.
“That’s really sweet,” I tell him. “Seriously, I don’t remember the last time someone made breakfast for me.”
Jake’s look of apprehension melts into a relieved smile. “It was my pleasure, really.”
I take a bite of the eggs. They’re slightly cold but I hum appreciatively as I chew. “What time are you going to the studio today?”
“Probably around ten. We’ve already written two tracks, sowe’ll lay those down first, and then I’ll probably spend some more time writing in the afternoon.” He pads into the kitchen and slides onto a barstool. He looks up at me, brown eyes warming. “Luckily, I can hang around there as long as I want, since I no longer have to worry about hourly studio fees. Success does have its perks.”
I pour the coffee into two mugs, handing one to Jake and leaning back against the countertop as I sip my own. So much has changed for Jake since I last saw him, and I feel a small surge of pride that I knew him before the rest of the world did.
