Zoe stops in the middle of campus. She drops her gym bag on the ground with a thud. “You have time, okay?” she says firmly. “You don’t have to get everything perfect right from the start.”
“Zoe, I’m not trying to be difficult, but you’re incredible. You’re so good that I—”
“I can’t do everything, either,” she says, interrupting me. “At the beginning of my first semester, I had terrible problems with the pas de deux. I couldn’t figure it out at all. That’s why... I know howyou feel, believe me. I also know that it can actually start working if you take your time and put a little less pressure on yourself.”
She looks at me and I’m immediately overcome with guilt. “I’m sorry, that was stupid. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
“You didn’t.” She smiles. “You’re just frustrated. Believe me, no one understands better than I do. Look, if in a few days or weeks you still feel like you can’t get the hang of it, we can squeeze in a few extra practice sessions, okay?”
“You’d do that for me?” I ask, surprised.
She grabs her bag and slings it back over her shoulder. “Of course. That’s what friends are for.”
“Are we friends?” I can’t suppress the sound of uncertainty in my voice, and the glimmer of hope.
“If you want,” she says kindly.
I almost don’t dare to say yes, because I think of Hailey and how badly our friendship ended. I don’t know if I can get so deeply involved with someone and end up being disappointed again.
You’ve already gotten involved, the quiet voice in my head reminds me. It’s true. Except with Easton, it’s somehow different.
“Can you just decide something like that?”
“Yes. Mae would have loved to adopt you yesterday; she’s good at that. She doesn’t need a day to know if she wants someone in her life or not. And she wants you in it. Both of us do.” She smiles at me again, and I believe her. We slowly start walking again and head toward the dorm.
“I’m not very good at friendship,” I say after a while, because I think she should know.
“Neither am I,” she replies honestly. “But Mae is, and she’ll show us the ropes.”
I take a deep breath and exhale slowly. “Okay.”
“Of course, that means at some point we’re going to grill you about how you know Easton.” She grins, and I know, I just know, that they would never pressure me to tell them everything if I didn’t want to. She’s just trying to lighten things up a little.
“It’s a long story.”
“Those are the best and the worst.”
Apparently, she’s speaking from experience.
“How do you know him?”
“Also kind of a long story. Well, no, that’s not totally true. Jase and Easton are friends. That’s how I know him.”
I glance at her, knowing there’s more to it. “But there’s a long story behind that?”
“There always is. Maybe one day we’ll tell each other our stories.” She opens the front door of the dorm, and I step into the warm hallway.
“That would be nice,” I reply. I guess there are people who it’s easy to become friends with and trust. People I can be myself with. Actually, it shouldn’t surprise me. After all, it was the same with Easton.
***
The sky is clear and dark as I set off for Easton’s place that evening. I’m so nervous that I ask the Uber driver to circle the block twice once we’ve reached the house where the band lives with Willow, Easton’s sister. The third time, she gives me a skeptical look, a wordless query whether I really want to be here or if she should take me back to the school after all. But I decide to get out.
I’m late, and I’m sure Easton is wondering where I am.
Take a deep breath. Open the door. Get out.None of this is hard, not at all. It just feels that way. Somehow I manage to walk toward Easton’s place. The house has definitely seen better days, but the light shining through the windows onto the street is warm and welcoming.
My pulse races as I stand in front of the door and raise my hand to knock. I finally manage to do it. I don’t understand why I’m so nervous. We talked this morning, and he said we’re still friends. Everything is fine. Still, I have butterflies in my stomach, and my palms are sweating again. Maybe it’s because he still doesn’t know who I really am.
