“Rayne.” He says my name like a plea.
I lift my head, blink innocently at him, and finally push the leggings aside.
“Are you trying to kill me?” He moves his hips restlessly, his hands still clenched. He wants to touch me, I can see it in his eyes.
“Not today,” I say softly, and pull the hoodie over my head in one fluid motion.
His gaze wanders over my naked body, my breasts. It feels like he’s touching me, even though I’m standing a few steps away from him. His gaze wanders lower, to the wine-colored panties I’m wearing, and just the way he looks at me makes the muscles in my abdomen contract.
“Come here.” He reaches out to me, and again I do as he asks. I walk over to him, my skin, my lips, and everything else tingling. I need him to kiss me and touch me. I can’t take it anymore.
I take a condom out of my bedside table drawer before placing my hand in his, letting him push me onto the bed.
Then he’s on top of me, his gaze darting from my eyes to my mouth. He kisses me, and I forget how to think, how to breathe, and who I am. He kisses me, and every muscle in my body tenses. I need more.
I clutch his arms and his breathing quickens.More, please more.
I don’t know if I say it out loud or if he just senses what I want, but now his lips wander over my neck, finding the sensitive spotjust behind my ear, and a sigh escapes me. I move beneath him, it’s pure instinct. My mind isn’t working, I can’t think anymore.
But thinking isn’t important right now, feeling is, and that’s what I’m doing. I stroke his shoulders, his chest, and his back, feeling his muscles tense under my fingertips. I love that. But it’s not enough, because even though he’s leaning over me, he’s not really on top of me. He’s supporting himself on the mattress with his elbows, but I want to feel his weight on me. I want him on top of me, inside me—everywhere.
“Easton,” I say, just his name, because I really can’t think anymore. He smiles against my skin as his mouth moves farther down my neck to my breasts. “Come here.” Now I’m the one asking him, but I can’t help it. I’m on fire, and it’s his fault.
I reach for the condom and the plastic rustles softly as I tear open the packet. I pull down his boxers, he pulls down my panties, then he straightens up enough so that I can slip the condom over him. He watches me as I do it, twitching in my hand, and that makes me way too hot.
When I pull him toward me this time, he sinks heavily onto me and kisses me, his tongue in my mouth. I breathe him in, and the throbbing between my legs takes me over. He has to do something about it.
Easton reaches between us. He’s exactly where I want him, and I hold my breath as he enters me. We move at the same time, slowly and carefully. I lift my hips and he thrusts into me, and then nothing is slow or careful anymore.
Short kisses, sharp gasps, his lips on my neck. I pull him closer, my hands trembling. I’m shaking. I need him deeper, a little harder, a little more. Easton groans, and the sound shoots straight to mycore. He slides both hands under my butt, lifts me up a little, and suddenly the angle is different, and everything changes. Heat in my stomach, a burning pull and tingling that spreads throughout my entire body.
I’ve never come like this before, not without his fingers or his tongue, but the moment he thrusts into me again, he pushes me over the edge. I have to bite my lower lip to suppress a scream. He kisses me, but it’s more than kissing; it’s more like breathing. A shiver runs through his body, and then he goes completely still inside me and on top of me.
My muscles relax. Suddenly I’m tired, so tired, but it’s the best kind of exhaustion you can imagine.
I don’t know how long we lie there, entwined, on top of each other and inside each other. Eventually, Easton pulls away from me after a short but intense kiss and gets up to throw away the condom. He’s back almost immediately, pulling me to his chest. I feel his heartbeat against my back and nestle against him with a soft, contented sigh, skin to skin, and once again his mouth finds my neck.
“I love you, Birdy,” he whispers, and I want to hear him say it forever.
I don’t know why, but at that moment, it feels a little like goodbye. It’s not. It can’t be. But for a split second, it feels that way. Then the moment is gone, and I fall asleep without another thought.
Chapter 44
Rayne
Exile—Taylor Swift, Bon Iver
Today is not a good day. It’s Thursday morning, and I can tell something is off as soon as I start my warm-up exercises. I don’t know what’s wrong; I can’t put my finger on it, but I don’t feel good. There’s a strange feeling in my stomach, a kind of restlessness.
I slept badly, maybe because Easton wasn’t lying next to me for the first time this week. I spent the last few nights with him, but yesterday the guys were out and I was so exhausted from class that I climbed into bed right after dinner, picked a series on Netflix, and fell right to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling a bit off. I put my laptop on the nightstand, drank a glass of water, and fell back to sleep quickly, only to find myself in the middle of very confusing dreams.
I guess it’s possible that the strange feeling in my stomach is just because I’m tired and overworked. In the weeks before we shot the music video, I spent so much time on choreography that I neglected a lot of other things. For example, the exercises thatare supposed to prepare me for pointe dancing. I finally need to exchange my slippers for pointe shoes and at least get close to what the others are achieving. Not to mention the theory lessons. I should really be studying for the upcoming exams, but I haven’t been able to get myself to do it, and the fact that Zoe and Mae finished their notes ages ago isn’t really helping to motivate me. With everything else that’s happening, I’m falling behind again.
“Rayne?” A slender hand touches my shoulder. I turn to see Zoe’s concerned gaze. “Are you okay?”
“Huh? Yeah. Sorry. Everything’s fine.”
“Are you sure?” A deep furrow forms between her eyebrows. “Jase said that Easton has been reading too many articles about you guys online. Have you been looking at them too?”
