“I don’t think so.” None of them had reached out since she left, although the group text had bounced around what the others were doing.
“No?”
Valerie shrugged. “Why did you stop coming out with us?” she asked curiously.
Dalia chewed her straw. “Look, obviously I don’t want to talk shit about anyone behind their backs.”
“Obviously.”
With the standard disclaimer out of the way, Dalia sighed. “I didn’t feel like I belonged?” she said hesitantly.
“I feel like that too,” burst out Valerie, relieved someone had put her feelings into words. Sometimes when they were out, she felt more like a background prop than a person.
“I don’t know how to say it, but I felt worse about myself every time I went out with them. It wasn’t until later that I realized what it was. They never seemed happy about good news.”
“What do you mean?”
“If someone had good news, there would be a quick acknowledgment, but otherwise it went ignored, or someone would point out something better that happened to another person they knew. If it was bad, though? They were all in. It’s like they couldn’t bond over being proud of each other. They weren’t supportive in a way I needed.”
Valerie thought this over. How odd that she never saw the competitive nature of those relationships. She finished her float with a disturbingly loud slurp that caused Dalia to laugh.
“That could be a me thing, though. They seemed fine with each other,” said Dalia. “How do you know the Badgertons?”
Valerie wanted to tell the truth, desperately. She could see her potential friendship with Dalia disappear like crumbs to a hungry bird, because how can you be friends with a liar? A cloud drifted over the sun and Valerie shivered, hands cold on the icy cup.
“Family,” she said, and left it at that.
“Lucky, I wish my family had a place up here. Oh, hey, if you’re not busy, I’m having a party in a couple days. Cottage Games XIV,” Dalia said. “I’d love if you dropped by. Bring whoever you want.”
“Cottage Games XIV? Fourteen?”
“It’s only the first year we’ve done it but we thought the Roman numerals sounded good.” Dalia texted her the information, then waved goodbye.
Valerie leaned back on the bench and watched her go before spotting Nico’s tall frame in the distance. He was holding what looked like a paper bag from the bakery, and even if it wasn’t a treat for them to share, it had been a good day.
But she thought it might be a cookie, and that made it better.
Sixteen
The weather turned overnight, and Nico put on a sweater before going to get Valerie for lunch. She had spent the morning curled under a blanket with a book and looked up at him with the glazed expression of someone whose soul remained partly trapped between the pages. After collecting bowls of roasted tomato soup and grilled cheese sourdough croutons, everyone gathered around the fire in the Mariposa room to eat. The meal was subdued, the gray skies and spitting rain adding a slight chill to the dim but not dreary house.
“This is delicious, Penny,” Jenn said.
“Thank you. I told the staff I wanted something cozy.” Penny put down her spoon and looked around to gather the approving nods.
The chat was general until it somehow moved to electronics and Roger snapped his fingers. “Nico, that reminds me, I still have your old charger. I went by your bunkie early this morning to drop it off but you weren’t in and I didn’t want it to get wet.”
Roger was scrupulous about not coming into Nico’s space, which he usually appreciated. He tried not to look at Valerie.
Because last night the coyotes had been out again and he’d come over to play cards and distract her until her eyes closed. Then he’d fallen asleep waiting for the rain to stop pounding down.
“Were you out swimming in this weather?” asked Alice.
“No,” said Jenn. “I was at the lake and didn’t see you.”
Valerie’s leg pressed against his and he wasn’t sure if it was deliberate, and if so, what she meant to communicate. Was she nervous about people thinking they were together?
“I was getting coffee,” Nico said.
