My breath catches, my eyes going round. I try to laugh it off, but the sound comes out wrong. “You mean in an Ian way, right?”
“No,” he says seriously. “In a you way.”
My heart thuds in my chest, making me feel off-kilter. Twenty-four hours ago, I was barely on board with the idea of beingfriendswith Jack. Now? Now I’m staring at his mouth while he calls me beautiful. How the fuck did we get here? I have no idea.
All I know is I’m feeling vulnerable, and he’s right there, looking like he does and saying all the right things, and it’s just beenso damn long, and—
“Can you just…Can you be still for one second?”
Jack looks confused. “Still?”
“Just…Don’t move,” I tell him, feeling like I might be losing my mind but feeling myself turn toward him just the same.
I swallow around the growing lump in my throat, staring up at him. He’s only about six inches taller than me, but he’s so broad that his entire being seems to eclipse me, blotting me out. I have the wildest fantasy of letting him wrap his arms around me, wondering what that would feel like. Wondering if it would feel as nice as it sounds.
“Abby, what are you—”
I press up on my toes, holding his gaze. “You can tell me no.”
I’m praying he doesn’t though. This might be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, but it’s also the first thing I’ve done in alongtime that was reckless or spontaneous. I’ve spent so long keeping my nose clean, making sure I didn’t cause any waves—I’m due for one stupid thing, right?
“Abby,” Jack breathes, his pupils blown.
I lean in a little closer. “Shh.”
It’s barely there, when my lips find his, and Jack is still, so still, like he’s afraid of spooking me if he moves. But after just a second, I feel the slightest brush of his lips as his hands cautiouslymove to cup my elbows, and there’s the smallest, softest sound in the back of his throat when I lean into him fully, my chest meeting his front.
“What are we doing?” he murmurs against my mouth.
I shake my head, nipping at his lower lip. “I don’t know.”
I can hear Lila’s voice in my head from so many weeks ago, telling me tolive a little—and while I don’t think this is what she meant, I feel exhilarated all the same. It’s definitely a bad decision, and some part of me knows that deep down, but it doesn’t stop me from grabbing the lapels of his jacket and tugging him closer.
He stops me, pulling back to look at me, his brows turned down and his eyes serious as he studies my expression, no doubt looking for any signs of hesitancy on my part.
“Abby, are you sure about this? I didn’t think—”
“Don’t ask me if I’m sure,” I tell him. “If you don’t want to, that’s fine, but don’t ask me if I’m sure. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t want to.”
His eyes collide with mine as he searches them, his lips pressing together and jaw working subtly as he considers. I can’t say how many seconds pass while he comes to a decision, but suddenly there’s a burning look in his eyes, and his entire expression softens, and his plush mouth mutters the words:
“Fuck it.”
Then his mouth crashes against mine.
Fourteen
Jack
I have no idea how wegot here, but all I know is I can’t seem to stop.
I won’t pretend that I haven’t been thinking about this for the last few days—maybe even longer than that, if I were really being honest with myself. There’s something about Abigail Thompson that calls to me, and even when I’m pretending it’s all just to rile her up, I think, deep down, I’ve always known I was a little more attracted to her than I should be.
I don’t know how we manage to get the apartment door open with the way she’s still kissing me, and I’m giving back as good as I get as her lips move against mine and her tongue swipes tentatively against the seam there. And I open for her—Iimmediatelylet her in. My arms move around her as I pull her in closer, and to my infinite surprise, she leans into me without a fight.
I think in all the fleeting moments where I let myself imagine this—and there have been enough to prevent me from claiming this is completely out of character for me—I expected her to beless eager. I expected her to fight this attraction we obviously have for one another tooth and nail, so when she sighs sweetly into my mouth and tugs me closer, I mentally fist pump at the victory.
I kick the door shut behind us when we stumble inside, managing to reach behind me to lock the bolt as her hands push at my jacket to try to shove it off my shoulders. Her slim fingers linger as they trail down my biceps, squeezing me there, trailing their way back up to my shoulders to give them the same treatment, almost like she’s allowing herself to…explore me. And I like that, I find. I like that a lot.
