“What?”
“She said, ‘It’s Jack’s life. He should be the only one making these decisions.’ ”
“She said that?”
Dee nods. “Made us shut up really quickly. I guess none of us were really thinking about whatyouwanted. We were thinking about what we thought you needed. But not Abby. Seems she’s been thinking about you a lot more than we have. I’m really sorry about that.”
“Don’t be,” I say thickly. “I know you meant well.”
“Still.” Dee crosses her arms over her chest, suddenly looking stern. “So what are you going to do to fix all this?”
I consider that for several moments, a sudden clarity washing over me, and I’m feeling better about it all than I have since I first found out about it. A soft smile touches my mouth, and I nod to myself, coming to a decision.
“First, I’m going to talk to Coach.”
“Okay, and?”
“And then I’m going to go tell Abby I’m in love with her.”
Dee pretends to wipe her eyes. “My little baby is all grown-up and making adult decisions.”
“Shut up,” I grouse.
“I believe in you,” she says seriously. She gives my shoulder a mock punch, beaming. “Now go fix your shit.”
I grin back at her, feeling, for the first time, like maybe I actually can.
Twenty-Nine
Abby
I had forgotten just how smallIan and Lila’s couch was. It feels even smaller knowing there’s a bed and a man waiting for me back at Jack’s apartment.
Ian and Lila didn’t say much when I showed up here last night; I think they could sense that something was off with me. I’m sure the red eyes and constant sniffling were a dead giveaway, but blessedly they gave me my space. Lila left a little while ago for work, I’m assuming, but now in the cold light of the morning, there’s no one here but me and my thoughts and my brother for company. The latter has been staring at me surreptitiously ever since I woke up, and it’s clear to me that we’ll have to have a discussion at some point.
To make matters worse—Dad has been calling me all morning. I’ve done well ignoring it so far, but I can’t pretend that, on top of everything else, it doesn’t make me feel more downtrodden.
“Are you…hungry?” Ian tries, looking unsure of what to do with me.
I shake my head. “Not really.”
“Are you sure? I’m nowhere near at Lila’s level, but I could totally whip up some pancakes or something.”
My lip trembles at something as simple as the wordpancakesas I think back to all the mornings Jack made them. That squeezing sensation in my chest hasn’t left me since I left the apartment yesterday, and it seems with every sparked memory of the man I walked out on, it only gets worse.
Ian doesn’t miss the way my face falls.
“Okay, that’s it,” he sighs, stomping across the apartment to peer down at me. “We need to talk about it.”
I clear my throat. “Talk about what?”
“About whatever happened at Jack’s that is making you look like that.”
“And what do I look like?”
“You look fucking sad, Abby. I don’t like it.”
I take a deep breath before blowing it out, shrugging one shoulder. “It’s not really that important.”
