He nodded. “I suspect her refusal to leave had something to do with you.”
“Oh.” I felt the accusation, the touch of resentment. I cocked my head. “But is that true? That you’ve done nothing but think of her for nearly twenty years?”
He downed the rest of his drink, then pursed his lips. I was surprised when the pretense fled his voice. “I’ve taken lots of lovers over the years. Women and men, all of them witty and beautiful. All better than I could ever deserve. But one letter from Agatha makes me feel more alive, more full of hope and calm and elation, than touching any of them ever did.”
His genuine smile tugged my mouth into a crooked one. “I’ll tell her that.”
He shook his head. “Please don’t. Tell her the other thing I said.”
“I’ll tell her a variation—I’ll skip the part about all the lovers.”
He hesitated, scratched the dark stubble on his chin, and finally nodded. He paused. “You haven’t thrown up in a while.”
My gaze slid down to the glass I held, and I raised my eyebrows, hopeful I’d found some cure, when the door to the cabin flew open and Theodore strode in.
My spine straightened. Theodore was pallid, with deep grooves of lingering discomfort between his brows. He stood just inside the door, a thick leather folder of papers at his side. He met my eyes, and then his gaze dipped to the dress I wore.
“It fits,” he said, his tone oddly flat.
“Yes. Do you like it?” I flounced the skirt over my lap and added in an overbright voice, “I’m fortunate that you kept it on your ship all these years.”
Theodore’s gaze sharpened and darted between Lachlan and me. A sudden flush of red colored his pale cheeks. “I beg your pardon?”
Lachlan’s eyes bulged at Theodore’s biting tone. “Good luck,” he whispered before he rushed to stand and made for the still-open door. “If you’d both like some relief, may I suggest a hug?” He tried for seriousness, but there was no missing the delight that filled his voice. “A blood bond is happiest with some level of closeness, especially as it settles.” He swung the door shut before I could throw my glass at him.
I set it down on the table instead, feeling a twinge of guilt for embarrassing Theodore. Perhaps I could charm my way into his good graces. I stood and swayed a little from the drink and lack of food, but I met Theodore’s gaze with my chin high. Even if I’d drunk nothing at all, the whole room would have seemed to tilt. The king of Varya did that without even trying. He drew the air toward him, made the solid floor practically bow beneath my feet.I felt a sort of pain to look at him, his beauty and rigid authority. It made me want to flee.
Since I couldn’t, I smiled fully and inclined my chin toward the folder he held. “What’s that? Do you need my signature on some official paper once you finally reveal our third agreement?”
He gave a grunt. “That’s not a terrible idea, but no.” He looked down at the folder and a lock of dark hair fell over his brow. “These are the contracts the Empress of Obelia sent over with her stipulations for my marrying her daughter.”
“Oh.” I stepped around the settee to stand closer, a soft smile still on my lips. The bunched bond in my stomach loosened and I let out a soft breath of relief. He looked at me with disarming intensity. “Are you… eager?” I asked. “To meet your bride?” I regretted the question instantly.
He considered for a moment. “If I’m honest,” he said, carefully, quietly, “no. But eagerness isn’t necessary. It’s an advantageous match for my kingdom and fulfills what is required of me.”
My brow buckled. “What if she’s awful?”
He shrugged like he’d never considered it.
I half envied the ease with which he could deny himself so much and half pitied him for it. “Have you at least seen her portrait?”
“Yes.”
I waited in vain, smile long gone, for him to say more. “Well… if you find yourself inspired to shirk your responsibilities…” I tried for levity, despite the frantic claws scraping through the inside of my chest. “… Perhaps I can offer you some guidance on how to rid yourself of an unwanted fiancée.”
He shook his head and strode away from me to set the contracts upon his desk, but as he did so, he smiled. A real, full smile. It dimpled one cheek and crinkled his green eyes at the edges. His teethwere white and straight, and I found myself staring after him like an addle-minded girl.
“Is it so hard for you to imagine?” he asked, as he set the folder within a polished wooden box and locked it with a silver key. “To fulfill one’s duty and be satisfied by it? I don’t need a charming or beautiful wife. I don’t need her to be a friend. None of that will benefit my kingdom.”
“And you are your kingdom? There’s nothing you need that it doesn’t?”
He perched on the edge of his desk and crossed his arms. He beheld me with one of those frustratingly unreadable looks of his. “Like what, my lady?”
“Like…”Like passion or humor or friendship, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak it. My mind went slippery with his attention locked on me. I shook my head and curled my hands into my wrinkled skirt. “You never answered me,” I said, softly. “Do you like my dress?”
He regarded me, lips curling mirthlessly, then looked me up and down, very, very slowly.
I held my breath as his green eyes roamed.
