But his palm is warm, and it’s so soft, and the way he’s holding on to me like he needs me is too fucking much. I can’t hold back. Just the pleasure of his skin against mine has me careening over the edge, and as hard as I try to stop myself, I can’t.
My only saving grace as the orgasm rips through me is the fact that he’s coming too.
He’s loud about it, his head tilted forward, jaw loose, lips parted on his sharp cry. His hips fuck up into my hand as I pull the climax from his body, and he lets out the loudest, most profane fucking groan before falling backward.
I look down and see he’s coated the entire back of my hand in his come.
Jesus, it’s so hot, so thick—pearly and sort of opaque. It immediately starts to dry the moment cool air touches it, and I can feel it tightening against my skin.
I can’t stop staring. It takes all my self-control not to lick my hand clean, but he’s watching me, and I don’t know if I should continue to sit here in my soggy jeans or if I should run away.
Option two is starting to feel pretty good because now that I’ve come untouched, the humiliation hits me square in the guts. I hadn’t realized how desperate I was—how pathetic—until Icreamed my pants like when I was an overly hormonal teenager with no control over his body.
And I have no idea if Leo noticed.
“I—” The single, stuttered letter comes out tense and ragged. I can’t meet his gaze. He says nothing, and in that silence, I feel it: his possible disdain, his probable regret. “I should go.”
There’s a very long pause, and then he says, “Okay.”
Okay. Just like that. No asking me to stay, no telling me it was fine. Just,okay.
I stand, unable to look over him, but with my back to where he’s still lying, I ask, “Are you going to be alright?”
“Always am.”
His tone is strange. I can’t read it, and I don’t know if I want to try. There’s every chance I’ll get it wrong, and I’ve made a fool of myself enough today.
“Catch you later.” It seems like the wrong thing to say right now, but I don’t know what’s right, so instead of trying to make it better, I put one foot in front of the other until I’m walking out the door in uncomfortable, stiff, wet jeans.
And the moment I’m far enough from his house that I know he can’t see me, even if he gets up to look, I start running.
Stretching my legs out in front of me, I cradle the bag of homemade duck food and reach in, grimacing at the wet grapes, though the big doe eyes of the two mallards in front of me takes the edge off my discomfort.
I throw a handful down to the pair and sigh. “These are my friends.”
“You’re friends with crowsandducks now?” Rune asks with a dubious frown. He’s watching the pair chase after the few grapes before they go after the rest of the seeds and lettuce.
“No. I just know these two. They’re at this park every year.”
I don’t actually know if that’s true. I looked it up the fourth spring when I saw them toddling along this road. Every single site on the internet said that ducks don’t mate for life, and it’s not like I can tell them apart from all the other mallards, but somehow, I just know these two are the exception to the rule.
They have to be, because if there’s hope for them, there might be hope for me.
“That’s kind of sweet. My—” He stops abruptly. “I know someone who’d really love this.”
I want to ask who, but it’s clear that whoever it is, he doesn’t want to talk about it. I let it be. “This is my happy place,” I tell him as I watch the male duck nip at the female’s neck. She bites him. Hard.
Good for her.
Rune digs into the bag and tosses out another handful of food, and the ducks, once again, go after the grapes. “They’re not like dogs, right? They can eat grapes and not die?”
“Dude. I’m not trying to kill them.” I huff for a moment, but I know he doesn’t mean it maliciously.
I think I’m feeling a little sensitive after yesterday—after running off and then spending half the night expecting Leo to show up and promise me that he didn’t hate every second of what we did.
Then, after the world’s shittiest night of broken sleep, I woke up panicked, certain Easton was going to show up and bash my face in for fucking his baby brother.
Neither of those things happened.
