“Yeah, you did.” I can’t stop myself from interrupting him. “You definitely meant to imply I can’t be left alone to do a basic self-care task, and I promise you that I can. I can take a hittoo. My head injury was years ago, okay? I’m not concussed anymore. All this—” I wave at my temple. “—is just leftover bullshit, and I’ve been living just fine with it.”
He takes a breath, then drops down to the floor and leans back on his hands so fucking casually, like he just belongs here in my bedroom while I sit naked under my robe.
“I get it. I’m sorry for being an ass.”
I have no idea what to say to that. Normally, he doesn’t apologize. He usually runs his mouth and doubles down until I’m ready to dig into my old lexicon of ancient Greek swear words to cuss him out.
I don’t know who this man is.
Maybe he’s the version Easton always gets. The version of North everyone seems to love that has never been for me. Well, until now, apparently.
I stare down at him, and he looks up at me. It lasts only a moment, and then I adjust my robe again just in case before saying, “This is the second time you’ve seen me naked.”
Even with my blurry eyes and the dim lighting of the room, I can see him blushing. “Um. Sorry?”
“Are you?”
He shrugs. “I mean, you’re hot, so—” His jaw snaps shut, and I know there’s regret on his face. “Not to, uh, objectify you or whatever.”
He’s lying. He has to be lying. He can’t look the way he does and think I look hot likethis.
He swallows thickly, then says, “Want me to get naked and even the score?”
“It—I—No! We’re not keeping score!” Now I’m blushing so hard, I feel a little dizzy from all my blood trying to figure out if it should go north or south.
It chooses both, and it makes me feel very weird. Luckily, I can hide my half chub with my crossed legs.
North continues to stare at me, then he suddenly rises to his knees, which pop loudly, and he laughs. “Old bones.”
“Oh my god, please. What are you? Twenty-five?”
His eyes widen as he curls his fingers into the hem of his shirt. “Twenty-nine. I don’t know if I should say fuck you or thank you.”
“I still get carded when I buy scotch, so,” I begin, but then my words die when he suddenly reaches behind him, grabs the back of his shirt, then whips it over his head.
My gaze immediately fixates on his pecs. His nipples are pierced with the smallest black barbells, and I can tell they’re made out of some kind of silicone, not metal or plastic.
His nipples are also pert, very small, a dusky pink and surrounded by a smattering of dark hair. He has freckles and moles decorating his chest, and as my gaze trails to his abs, I see the scars again. Some are slashes, some are thicker and more round. They’re the same on his arms too.
Part of me wants to ask, but when he sees where I’m looking, he folds his arms over his chest like he’s trying to hide. I know how it feels. And now I’m wondering if I was wrong about the first time he saw me.
“Is this enough?” he asks very softly.
It takes me a minute to answer him, eyes still locked on his torso, drifting only as high as his throat. “North…” It’s the only word I can form in this moment. Everything feels suddenly too intimate—too exposed. I swallow heavily. “You don’t need to do this.”
“Fair’s fair, right?” He takes a single step closer, and then another. I can’t seem to look at his face, but I watch as his toes flex and curl against the floor. He’s close enough for me to reach out and touch him now, but I don’t.
North drops to his knees again, hands resting loose on his thighs, and I watch his fingers scratch lazy lines over the fabricof his jeans. My eyelids flutter closed for a second, and then I finally force myself to look him in the face. The raw vulnerability there steals my breath.
He looks…ashamed, almost.
Afraid. The thought of him fearing me sends something uncomfortable up my spine. Did I do something to make that happen? Have I been a monster?
Unable to stop myself, I reach forward and cup my palm against his cheek, and his breath trembles as he exhales. “Why?”
“Why what?” he answers back, voice still barely there.
“Why are you scared of me?”
