Page 53 of A Reign of Chromes & Shadows

“No. Gods, no. She does use it, but I can’t use that as an excuse.” He wished he could. “I did sleep with Ivy. It was consensual. And I don’t know what that means. But it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

“Oh great. Thanks. And what are your intentions exactly?”

“Jay…” Rain reached across the table, but Jay didn’t loosen his grip on the jug. He just stared, waiting. Rain sighed. “Being with you feels like home. You pull me out of every horrible part of my existence and make me feel… worthy. Of love. Of you. You’re the best part of my day. And even though we’ve only known each other a short time, I don’t want to lose you. I want to be selfish, but you deserve more. If you tell me we’re done, I’ll walk away. I won’t push. I don’t want that, but I’ll do it.”

Jay’s voice softened to a whisper. “Was it just this once? With Princess Ivy?”

Rain’s heart sank. He didn’t want to diminish what happened with Ivy—it would be dishonest—but telling the truth felt just as dangerous. Especially when he hadn’t begun to unpack everything that had transpired.

“When I was last with you… after the incident… Ivy came to help me. I needed to escape myself. I was in an extremely dark place. That’s not an excuse. I’m not asking for pity. I’m just giving you the full picture.” He rubbed his face, exhausted. “Ivy and I have always had a purely physical relationship. We had sex that night. Then I realised I’d temporarily lost my empathic powers—which is a whole other disaster. I told her I’d met someone else and couldn’t keep hooking up with her. She was furious and left.”

He took a breath. Conscious that he was nervously oversharing.

“Then yesterday… she was acting strangely suspicious. I found out that something was going on with her and Julian. We talked. Really talked. And we spent the night together. So technically… twice since I met you.”

Jay’s jaw tightened. “Does she think you’re together?”

“I have a feeling tonight’s going to end that notion.”

“Meaning?”

“I’ve always told Ivy we’re not a couple. She never listens. She belittles me, pushes, refuses to take no for an answer. We are betrothed so it has always been expected that I would be forced to back down eventually. But now…” Rain hesitated. “I think Julian asked her to marry him. She turned him down, but she likes him. And they slept together between the two times she slept with me, just to show how fucked this all is.”

Jay blinked, stunned.

“If I told Ivy I wanted her,” Rain continued, “she’d drop Julian in a heartbeat. But I can’t. I’ve never wanted to marry her. It feels like a fateworse than death. And after Julian tells her what he saw today, she might be persuaded to convince her father to let her marry him instead. He’s an heir. Her brother likes him far better than he does me and aside from our alliance, it makes political sense.”

Rain froze mid-sentence as the realisation hit. The true threat was no longer a matter of the heart; his life was at stake.

“Fuck. My father is going to kill me. And he’ll have a very good reason.” He stared at the jug. “Can I please have some of that drink?”

Jay slid it over silently.

Rain tossed the straw aside and took several long gulps, wincing. “That’s strong.” He set it down. “Jay… I’ve never been deceitful with you. I should’ve been more transparent, and I’m sorry I haven’t been. Last night I wasn’t thinking about you, and that’s truly unforgivable. But my feelings haven’t changed. I like you. And I’m really sorry I hurt you.”

Jay slumped back, eyes shining with fresh tears. Rain didn’t think, he moved. Shoving Jay’s chair to the side with him still seated, he knelt before him. His hands resting gently on Jay’s knees, his piercing green eyes locked on his.

“I am so. Fucking. Sorry.”

A small, broken sound escaped Jay, and the tears spilled over. Rain stood and pulled him into his arms, holding him tight against his chest, pressing a soft kiss to his golden hair. Jay clung to him, fists curled in Rain’s shirt, sobbing until the storm finally eased.

When Jay pulled back, his face was blotchy and red. Rain brushed the tears from his cheeks, searching his eyes but refusing to read his energy. He couldn’t bear it.

“I forgive you,” Jay whispered.

Rain didn’t hesitate. He kissed him. A kiss full of deep desperation and relief. Jay responded instantly, arms locking around Rain’s neck like he was afraid he’d vanish. Rain used his power blindly to clear a path,sloshing cocktail across the table as he nudged Jay toward the wall, kissing him like he needed him to breathe.

“Um—sorry to interrupt,” Emily called, sounding half-amused, half-mortified. “But this is a public place. And we’re all here. Watching.”

“Not that we mind,” Jasmine added.

“Some of us mind,” Wren muttered.

Jay flushed scarlet and hid his face in Rain’s chest. Rain chuckled softly, tilting Jay’s chin up to steal one more, gentle kiss before leading him back to the table, fingers intertwined.

Everyone stared at them with ridiculous, beaming smiles. Rain ignored them, grabbed the jug, and pulled Jay into the seat beside him; close enough their shoulders touched. He wasn’t letting go. Not today.

They ordered two more rounds of shots and spent the next hour laughing, drinking, and sinking into a warm, messy haze. At some point Rain realised he’d let his walls down completely. He should have been worried, perhaps slowed down on the drink. Instead, he basked in the affection radiating from his friends.