Page 38 of Her Ivory Flame

The sky was still dark out the window, and the fire had long died out making the moon the only light to brighten the space. She could see shadows along every wall and she wondered what it would be like if she could disappear into one sometimes.

There was no way she was going to be able to sleep, not with the nightmare and the guilt of what she had been doing with Silas the last two nights.

She had wanted to be with him for so long, but coming back into society made things complicated in more ways than she imagined. They never had conversations about his past the entire time they knew each other, or what his life goals were.

When he visited they would only talk about what she had been up to and a few castle gossip stories. Thinking about it now, it was odd she really didn’t know that much about him.

She shifted so she was on her back, his arm still draped over her stomach but she felt him wake slightly at her movement.

“What’s wrong?” he mumbled.

“Nothing, sorry to wake you.”

He raised his head and sleepy eyes looked over her face before he sighed.

“Alyra, what is on your mind?” he pulled his free arm under him so he was propped up looking down at her.

“What happens with us now?” she asked hesitantly.

“What do you mean?”

“I care about you Silas, and what we’ve done I don’t take lightly.” She stared at him trying to watch the emotions on his face.

“What do you want to happen?” he mumbled

“Date each other for a while before we sleep together again. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it but I want to get to know you more.” Her voice was a little shaky, nervousness starting to show through.

“Get to know me?” his voice got colder. “You do know me.”

“Enough to be sleeping with each other?” she asked hesitantly.

“You do realize strangers will sleep with each other if they are in the mood?” He pulled his hand away and narrowed his eyes on her. “You weren’t worried about it after the dance or tonight.”

“I guess I’m more traditional,” she sighed. “I did try to say something tonight but you weren’t listening.” She shifted away from him.

“Are you saying I forced you?” he snapped.

“No, you would never be able to force me.”

She could feel the tension building between them, his body pulling away from her and then saw him stand next to the bed.

“Where are you going?” she asked hesitantly.

“Sleeping on the couch.”

She sat up and kept the sheets covering herself as she faced him.

“Why are you so upset? I was just trying to tell you how I feel.” She could feel herself getting angry but tried to keep herself calm since it was the middle of the night.

“Why are you so suddenly worried about us knowing each other?” He yelled, and she instantly felt herself lurch back from his angry gesture towards her. “I saved you, I took care of you, and I visited you every year for a century Alyra! I’m not some random guard bedding you, in fact I’m risking a lot if Declan or Emris found out we have actually slept together.”

She could see his chest rising from anger as he stood with his cotton pants now hanging around his hips. Guilt crept into her chest but she still knew she was partially right about the hesitation she felt since being back.

“And I owe you everything for what you have done for me.” She started, clearing her throat slightly. “I need to know who you are so I can do everything I can to protect you and justify my relationship with you. I’m a queen now Silas, and if something comes up that I don’t know it could harm my title or my kingdom.”

“Whatever you say,my queen.”,” he said sarcastically and walked towards the main room without giving her another look.

She was sitting on the bed, mouth gaped open but she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to fight with him, but something inside her told her something was off. There was no reason he should be so upset about her wanting to get to know him.