Page 78 of Give Him a Chance

“Do you want to go back to the—”

“Yes, please,” Bernard said hastily, turning around and walking, at a much swifter pace, to the shore.

It was strange. As he strode up the bank of the beach to where their clothes were waiting for them in a pile, Bernard found he was shivering.

Oh, the shivering was to be expected.

But it was from cold, not from the dread of the past. Somehow, that part of him had gone, melted away under the steady glow of Lucy’s gaze. She had been with him all the way in and all the way out, and she sat herself down on the shingle looking out at the ocean without a word.

Not asking—not demanding answers. Just sitting with him.

Bernard sank onto the shingle beside her. Honestly, he was surprised his knees had lasted this long.

Lucy tilted her head and rested it on his shoulder, still saying nothing. And perhaps it was that silence, that welcoming, loving silence, that allowed him to say what he had never thought he would ever tell anyone.

“My mother died in the ocean.”

Bernard felt Lucy stiffen, but she did not move, and she said nothing, giving him permission to continue speaking.

The last of the poison, the last of the fear. It all had to come out.

He blew out a slow exhale and tried to speak calmly, but the memories of that day, that terrible day, were flickering before his eyes. “It was… We were visiting the seaside. For the first time, I think. I could only have been three or four, and my brother—”

“You have a brother?” Lucy evidently could not stop herself, but the question was quiet, and Bernard could tell she would not be offended if he did not reply.

For a moment, he did not reply. The wind blew past them and died down, and the undefeatable waves continued to rise up and down, up and down along the shore.

“I had a brother.”

Lucy slipped her hand into his. “Oh, Bernard.”

“It was supposed to be a wonderful day out,” Bernard said bracingly, as though if one spoke the truth this way, it would not hurt. “My mother, my father, Tommy, and myself. I’d always wanted to see the sea.”

How strange, that he had forgotten that fact all these years.

Bernard swallowed. “Tommy was older than me, braver than me. Our father said he would take us in and teach us to swim, after he’d eaten his luncheon. But Tommy… Tommy was too impatient.”

“Oh, my God,” murmured Lucy, the truth of what had happened clearly dawning on her. She lifted up her head from his shoulder and looked at him, eyes wide. “He didn’t.”

“He did. He went in without us, and for a while, we… Oh, Lucy, we didn’t even notice.” Bernard’s voice had cracked and he couldn’t go on.

Lucy took his hand and said fiercely, “You were a child, Bernard—a child! Barely loose from the apron strings. There’s no way it wasyourresponsibility to notice such a thing.”

“My mother was the one who eventually noticed. She saw his arm waving, the absence of screams, and—” Bernard worked his throat harshly, forcing the words to come out. “She rushed in.”

“But it must have taken time! After all, removing her gown, untying her—”

“Oh, my mother did not do all that,” said Bernard bitterly, trying to hold back his anger at the woman who had not thought, just rushed toward her struggling child. “She launched herself into the sea fully clothed as her eldest son slipped under the waves.”

“I should never have brought you here,” said Lucy hurriedly, rising to her feet and picking up her gown. “Let’s go home. You don’t have to tell me another detail.”

“I rushed to the shoreline and I was about to go in because my mother was crying out and I didn’t know why,” Bernard said,his attention fixed on the ocean before him now, unable to stop the words pouring from his lips. “But my father told me to stop.”

“Bernard—Bernard, don’t go in!”

Slowly, slowly, as though he were a wild animal and could bolt away from her at any moment, Lucy lowered herself to his level. Even in the darkness of the night, he could make out her horrified expression. “Your father.”

“He’d just lost a son, and a wife,” Bernard said darkly. “He didn’t want to risk anyone else.”