Mason says something under his breath and cups me over the fabric of my sweatpants.
My eyes fly open, and it’s like being drenched in ice-cold water.
I go still as Mason’s hands move up and down my sides, teasing and coaxing. My throat is tight as I lean back to look at him. “Mason, we need to stop.”
“Like fuck we do.” His mouth is against my neck again, his breath doing strange things to my insides. “I know you don’t want me to stop. I can smell it.”
I whimper when he touches me again. “I never said I want you to stop. I said we should.”
Mason growls and digs his nails into my waist. “Why?”
“Because I don’t want to give the baby to someone else to raise,” I say. Mason goes slack, and I wonder if he’s heard me. My heart thunders in my chest as he pulls back to look at me. He moves away until cold air rushes between us.
Fuck.
Mason’s expression is blank. “So you’ve made up your mind?”
“I… I didn’t. Or at least, I didn’t know that I had until just now.”
Mason groans. “So, you were just hoping to screw me until I said yes?”
I push myself off the desk and pick my shirt off the floor. “Almost like you were hoping to screw me into submission?”
Mason’s eyes narrow. “It’s not the same thing, and you know it.”
I pull the shirt over my head, never taking my eyes off him. “That’s why we need to talk about this. I don’t even know how you feel.”
Mason shakes his head and looks away. “There is nothing to talk about.”
I reach for him. “Like hell there isn’t. I’m carrying your baby, Mason. Regardless of how I handled it, you’re allowed to feel something about it.”
I hate how desperate and pathetic I sound, but I need to get through to him.
“No,” he says. “You’ve made sure I can’t.”
I take his hand in mine. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how many times you want me to say it, or how long you’re going to punish me. I can’t change what I did, but I would if I could.”
Mason stiffens but doesn’t withdraw his hand. “I doubt it would’ve done us any good.”
I take his hand and place it over my stomach. “This baby… it’sours, and I know the idea of everything changing is scary, but we can do this. Together.”
Mason snatches his hand back and steps away. “You really believe that, don’t you? I didn’t think you were that naïve, London.”
“I’m not naïve.”
“Then how do you explain this?” Mason’s eyes blaze with fury. “How the hell are you going to raise a baby when you can’t even set foot outside the manor?”
I recoil at his venom. “We’ll raise them here. We’ll take whatever precautions we need.”
“You think it’s that easy?”
“I know it’s not,” I say, “but your mom did it. I’m sure plenty of others have, too. I don’t see why I can’t.”
We need to stay together. It’s the only path for us I can picture.
“I know I’m not going to have the life I wanted,” I continue, “but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a good life.”
Mason stares at me before returning to his desk and picking up his drink. He takes several long sips and avoids my gaze.
