He’s right. I could have left when he confronted me in the corridor. Could have left in the elevator, even. He hadn’t forced me, hadn’t stopped me from turning around. And here I am, sitting in a hotel suite with a dangerous man, drinking his expensive liquor, having an argument I’m losing.
“I’m twenty-two years old,” I say slowly. “I graduated. I have a job I love. I have an apartment that I picked out and decorated myself and—” I stop. “It’s exactly the life I was supposed to want.Every list item checked off. Every right decision done in the right order and in the right time.”
He says nothing. Waits.
“And it’s fine. It’s allfine.And I’ve been fine all my life, and I am so—" The word I want is embarrassing. ”I’m just tired. Of beingfine.“
He’s quiet for a moment. “So you're bored. The bored little schoolgirl, looking for a boy toy.”
“No. Ugh. You don't get it. I go to work, and I love it. I come home, I cook dinner, grade papers, go to sleep, and in the morning I do it again. Everyone tells me I have it together. Idohave it together.“ I stare at the glass. ”I just—my life has started, but it hasn’t started. You know? Like I can see the life I’m supposed to be building and I’m building it, brick by brick, but it still feels like I’m standing outside of it, looking through a window.“
The words are out, and I want to evaporate. This is not what I planned to say.
“A window,” he repeats.
“I know how it sounds.”
He huffs and rolls his eyes. “It sounds like twenty-two.”
“You say that like—how old are you?”
“Older than you are when I was half your age.”
My mouth opens. Closes. I look at him properly for the first time since I sat down—not at the threat of him, not at the physical fact of him, but at the man inside the suit. His eyes try to keep me at a distance. But I ignore their warning.
“What’s that like for you?” I ask. “Living a full life, no waiting.”
His jaw shifts. A door closing. "We’re not talking about me.”
“You wanted to talk about truth.”
That almost-smile again, barely there. “Touché, little teacher." He leans forward and pins me. ”But you're wrong. I don't want totalk at all. This is probably the most conversation I've had with a woman who wasn't family in years."
"Y-y-you don't want to talk?"
His blue eyes stake mine as he shakes his head. "No. Although this has been very enlightening. I don't think I've been a schoolgirl's obsession before. You've kept me mildly entertained while we wait. But what's next? How far did you intend to take this? You said you wanted my attention. You have it. What do you want now?"
I take a sip of the alcohol. It burns clean and expensive. “I’ve always been the good girl. My whole life. Every rule, every right choice, every—” I gesture vaguely at Zara’s dress, the clutch, my entire presence here. “I watched Zara embrace her new life, and I washappyfor her. Iamhappy for her. But watching her made something restless.“ I set the glass down. ”I don’t want to wait for my life to begin. I just don’t know how to start it.“
“And you thought following a strange man through a hotel was a start.”
“I wasn’t thinking.” Honest. Finally, completely honest. “I saw you, and I stopped thinking entirely. I just—walked. Which has never happened to me before. I’ve never done anything without thinking first.”
He’s quiet for a long moment. “And now?” he asks. “Are you thinking now?”
“Not as much as I should be.”
"Not good enough. I don't want to hear that you were tipsy or that I coerced you. You have an itch you want scratched. Fine. But you go into this clear-headed. Any woman with me knows that she's in my bed only for as long as I say. One question. One time. Yes or no? Do you understand?"
I gulp and his eyes narrow. His lips turn down, and his face becomes granite. "Yes. I understand. Y-y-you've been clear. I agree. I'm not drunk. I consent."
What’s on his face is not quite amusement and not quite anything else. I can't read him. “Three days,” he says finally. “When the check clears, Daniil calls you a car. Until then, you belong to me.”
“And if I change my mind.”
“You change your mind when I give you permission.” He finishes his drink. “Now, come here."
“Here? I mean, there?”
