I turn toward the sliding glass door that leads to the deck, but Phoenix moves faster. He's between me and the door beforeI can take two steps, his body blocking my path, his hand catching my elbow.
"No."
I stare at him. "Excuse me?"
"I said no. You're not going out there alone. Not when someone is watching us, threatening us. It's not safe."
"Phoenix, it's the beach. It's fifty feet from the house. I can see it from the window."
"I don't care. You're not going alone."
I try to pull my arm free, but his grip tightens. Not enough to hurt, but enough to make it clear that he's not letting go.
"Let go of me."
"Jade, listen to me?—"
"Let go of me!" I wrench my arm free, stumbling backward, my heart pounding. He looks startled, like he didn't realize what he was doing, but it's too late. The fear I've been suppressing for days comes flooding to the surface, and suddenly I can't breathe.
He's not protecting me. He's controlling me. There's a difference, and I can't believe it took me this long to see it.
"I'm not your prisoner!" The words burst out of me, sharp and loud in the quiet kitchen. "I'm allowed to leave the house, Phoenix. I'm allowed to have a life."
He looks at me like I've slapped him. "I'm trying to protect you."
"By suffocating me?" I slam my coffee cup down on the counter, and liquid splashes over the rim, pooling on the marble surface. "I can't breathe in here. I can't think. Every time I turn around, you're there, watching me like I might disappear if you look away for a second."
"Given everything that's happened, is that really unreasonable?"
"Yes! It is!" I'm pacing now, my bare feet slapping against the cold floor, my hands gesturing wildly. "You're not protecting me, Phoenix. You're controlling me. There's a difference."
His jaw tightens, and I see something flash in his eyes. Hurt, maybe. Or anger. "I'm trying to keep us both safe. If you can't see that, then maybe you don't understand the situation we're in."
"I understand perfectly. I was there, remember? I watched you kill him. I helped you cover it up. I sat in that police station and lied through my teeth while detectives stared me down." My voice cracks, and I hate myself for showing weakness, but I can't stop. "Don't you dare act like I don't understand what's at stake."
"Then why are you fighting me on this?"
"Because this isn't a partnership! This is you making decisions and expecting me to fall in line. This is you treating me like a child who can't be trusted to make her own choices." I stop pacing and face him, my chest heaving, my eyes burning with unshed tears. "You're just like your father."
I watch Phoenix flinch, watch the color drain from his face, and for a moment I want to take it back. But I can't. Because it's true.
"That's not fair," he says quietly. "I love you, Jade. That has to count for something."
"Love isn't enough if I can't breathe.”
The words hang in the air between us, final and devastating. I see the impact hit him, see the way his expression crumbles before he rebuilds his walls. For a moment, he looks vulnerable and utterly lost.
But I can't comfort him. Not right now. Not when I'm the one who's drowning.
"I need space," I say, and my voice sounds strange to my own ears. Flat. Empty. "I need to get out of this house and think without you watching my every move."
"Jade, please. We can talk about this."
"I don't want to talk. I want to breathe." I'm already moving toward the bedroom, already grabbing my purse and my keys and shoving my feet into shoes. "I'll be back tomorrow. Or the day after. I don't know. I just need to be somewhere that isn't here."
"Where are you going?"
"I don't know. A hotel. Somewhere."
