“I trust you not to turn me in. You could have done that a long time ago, and you haven’t.” He offers me a strained smile, but I don’t smile back. “Besides, you’ll be implicated enough.”
How is he so casual about this? I’m more irritated now than I was when he told me about Nicole to begin with.
He and I have been through a lot together in a very short time. Certainly that would mean we’ve bonded, right? To most normal people, saying goodbye would be difficult. But then again, Travis isn’t a normal person.
It’s just that easy for him to let me go.
“Why didn’t you just let Ryan kill me if I mean so little to you? That would have made both of our lives so much easier.” The words are out of my mouth before I can take them back, and Travis can see how emotional I am now. Farewell, my stoic exterior.
For the first time all day, I see a reaction on his face. He looks offended, like I reached over and slapped him across the face for absolutely no reason. Trust me, if anyone deserves to get slapped, it’s Travis.
“How could you say that?” he asks, his voice pitched an octave higher as he backs away from me. “Just because I can’t kill you doesn’t mean I want someone else to. I can’t imagine a world without you in it, Sage.”
Tears well in my eyes and fall down my face before I can even try to blink them away. While it may not be the heartfelt declaration I’mlooking for, I know this is as close as it gets for Travis. I step closer and open my arms wide, prepared to wrap them around him for a hug. Maybe we can get through this after all, because he does care about me.
But instead of accepting my embrace, he moves out of the way and doesn’t look at me. My mouth opens, and my breath hitches in my throat with words I can’t fully say. Instead, I just drop my arms by my sides and turn to the oven once again.
Silence fills in the room. It feels simultaneously full and empty, the weight of everything in our past and all the unspoken things hanging between us. It’s almost unbearably heavy.
My eyes burn, and I feel my throat bobbing up and down as cries threaten to break out. I can’t let Travis see me like this—not right now. I choke them back and bite the insides of my cheeks, hard, to focus on anything but my breaking heart.
When Ryan’s body is nothing but gray ash scooped into a cardboard box, we leave. There’s no souvenir vial this time. Travis drives all the way to his house in silence. I don’t have to ask him to go to Ryan’s house to gather the few items I still have there; he does that all on his own.
While he’s gone, I pack up everything else I have at his house. I grab my camera, my laptop, the rest of my filming equipment, and the clothes I didn’t intend to take when I was leaving on foot. Travis comes back with my hastily thrown-together backpack before I’m finished.
“Do you have everything?” he asks. I don’t know if there’s a part of me that wants him to beg me to stay, but his willingness to let me go is earth-shatteringly heartbreaking.
“Yes.” I grab all my bags and set them down by the front door.
“I’ve called you an Uber. They’ll be here soon.”
“Thanks.”
I can barely bring myself to look at him while I wait for some stranger to come pick me up. It’s awkward. Neither of us says anything, but both of us want to.
The entire future I had planned out in my head is slipping through my fingers, and no matter what I do, I can’t bring it back. I just can’taccept that Travis is going to kill whoever he wants, regardless of their innocence. Knowing that I’m sleeping in bed next to a monster—apredator—every single night would be the death of me. I wanted to think that I could change him, but I was wrong.
God, I hate having to admit that.
The sound of tires riding up the driveway catches our attention, and we look out the window to see blinding headlights pulling up. Travis’s phone beeps a moment later, and he looks at it to see a notification from the driver letting him know they’re here.
“I guess this is goodbye.” My voice is as emotionless as I can make it. I busy myself by grabbing bags to avoid looking at him.
“For what it’s worth, things are going to be different with you gone,” Travis says, forcing a half smile on his face. Is this his way of telling me he’s going to miss me? That my presence here has actually been something he’s come to enjoy? It’s too little, too late for him, unfortunately.
“Make sure you put Ryan’s ashes in the trash when you take it to the dump.” I take a deep breath and drop the strap to my duffel bag on my shoulder before looking at him. I clench my jaw and force myself to stare him deep in the eyes. “Travis, if you hurt Nicole, I will never forgive you.”
He doesn’t say anything, and if he wants to, I don’t stick around to hear it. I leave immediately and walk over to the Uber. Thankfully, the driver is a woman. But knowing what I do about Travis, I can’t help thinking how dangerous it was for her to come here alone. She could have been walking into a trap. God knows the person who ordered her Uber is dangerous enough.
“All set?” the driver asks in a surprisingly chipper voice. I nod and buckle my seat belt, forcing my eyes to remain glued to my hands in my lap as we back out of Travis’s driveway. From my peripheral vision, I can barely see his silhouette standing on the porch, watching me go.
I ask my driver to stop at the spot where Nicole usually hangs around so I can try talking her into leaving this area, but when we get there, she isn’t anywhere to be found.Crap.
“Anywhere else you want me to stop?” My driver’s chipper voice turns a tad annoyed.
“We’re good to go. Thanks,” I murmur before sinking back into my seat.
As soon as we’re out of town, the dam breaks, and tears stream down my face like a waterfall. My breath is ragged, and it feels like I’m going to hyperventilate. I don’t even care that I’m in a public place with a stranger sitting a foot away from me. She doesn’t say anything, and I don’t even acknowledge her.
