But it made sense that Kell saw it that way. Kell could never be the most important person in the world to them. But it wasn’t that Osalor was either. Saeldian owed him everything, but that wasn’t what Kell meant.
Saeldian glued their tongue to the roof of their mouth. No one was the most important person in the world to them. No one ever had been. No one ever could be.
And saying that here, where they could not lie, would break Kell’s heart.
But Kell relaxed, the way someone finally lets go of every tension that carried a secret, and struck again. “It will always be him. And no domain of the Feywild can fix that.”
Saeldian’s skin went cold. They backed up a step. “You hate me for that. Because I couldn’t put you first.”
Now he would say it. He hated them because he’d made them the center of his world and Saeldian wouldn’t do the same. He had been doing only what he needed to do to get along, and they had cried in his arms, clung to him like they’d fall, and kissed him again.
Well, now it was time to stop pretending. They braced themself to hear him say,Yes.I hate—
“I love you,” Kell said.
Everything and everyone in the grove went quiet.
Hewhat?
No. No.He couldn’t. But no one could lie here. He couldn’t lie to them.
And Saeldian couldn’t lie to themself. There was nothing they could say. Nothing. There was only this door in their mind, closed and locked.
They couldn’t even shake their head.
But it was too late for Kell, and he relaxed into the inevitability. “Nothing’s changed, no matter how bad it hurt or how hard I tried to forget or how much I tried to hate you. I love you. You’re the last person in all the worlds I should love, and I can’t stop.”
That was true. Kell loved them. All this time, trying so hard not to, and—Fuck this place. Fuck everything that had brought them here to this moment. There was nothing Saeldian could say.
Nothing.
“I never forgot you,” Kell said. “I would do something funny and think, ‘Saeldian would laugh so hard.’ And I could hear it. I would see someone moving in a crowd, and then it wouldn’t be you. I told myself that it was because I wanted my chance to get the last laugh, but I wanted to understand why you left.”
“I had to go.”
Every word burned their throat.
Kell was so gentle and so understanding, and that made it so much worse. “Because of him.”
Yes. No.Kell was wrong, and the next thing that came out of their mouth would ruin everything.
All around them, everyone watched, still as the air. Glued to every word Kell said and waiting for Saeldian’s answer. To tell the truth, to get it out and—
“I can’t stay here. Sorry. I can’t.”
And Saeldian ran.
The path curved obligingly and dumped them into the truewild. Their pack was still on the ground in Hearthaven’s Repose. Didn’t matter. Someone would pick it up when they gave chase. Saeldian ran out from between the almond and the ash tree, their limbs bare now, and pelted through their fallen leaves thinking nothing butRununtil they finally thought,Run where?
They were out of the domain. They could wait. They didn’t have to run. But Saeldian ran still, as fast as they could, away from trouble beyond trouble, to Osalor.
They set their want and ran in its direction. The path widened, flat and well-used bare earth, lined by small white flowers that grew in the shady comfort of the wood.Osalor. Osalor.
They clutched the amulet out of habit. But instead of the numbness of last night and the night before, the embossed surface dug into their fingers. It clenched inside their fist, thumping wildly.
Osalor was that way, and Saeldian knew by how it felt in their hand that the concealing magic Osalor had woven over the pendant Saeldian never took off had finally frayed. Saeldian was in the truewild with their amulet shouting its presence to anyone.
If they ran to Osalor, the witch who could track the amulet could follow Saeldian’s trail.
