“Why? You’re going to confide in me?”
She readies to knock on Jahleel’s bedchamber, but I clasp her knuckles. “Yes, and I left him naked in there.”
“Oh.”
“We didn’t fight. Jahleel was very resigned. He says he wants no ill feelings. But now he wants a new bride to give him an heir.”
Scarlett tilts her face to me. “This news upset you? You don’t love him.”
“He’s going to give my little girl a stepmother. How will she treat Lydia? Will Lydia be happy with this?”
“So let me understand this. Until last month, the man you could barely be in the same room with has decided to move forward with his life and marry someone else. You’re bothered and trying to convince me your concern is Lydia getting another person to love.”
“This is why we don’t talk.” I fold my arms. “You can take my thoughts and make them sound like absolute gibberish, just like Jahleel does.”
Scarlett shakes her head. “Then I’ll call you Elizabeth.”
“I’m not Princess Elizaveta Abramovna Gannibal. So no. Not Elizabeth.”
“No, Katherine. Elizabeth Bennet ofPride and Prejudice. She is prejudiced against Darcy who she thinks is too prideful. It might cost her love.”
“So, I’m not the scoundrel Wickham anymore?”
“You’re the heroine. Your life is your story. So what are you going to do?”
I pace and pout and want to knock down Jahleel’s door. “What does Elizabeth do?”
“I’m not done with the novel, but you are like this character—forthright. And think you have several silly sisters.”
“My sisters are smarter than me. I’ve done nothing but blunder.” I focus on the cream molding of the ornate chamber door. “I want to be a help to him. I would marry him now.”
“Yes, that’s what every proud man wants to hear: that the woman he loves will tolerate him or marry him because she feels guilty for treating him shamelessly.” She puts her hand on my shoulder. “There’s been a lot of hurt. Sometimes it’s too much. Be his friend. Let him become yours.”
Friends? Do friends hold each other like that? Are friends naked and kiss?
My brow fevers. I forgot how he made me feel. I think I had to. “He wants another child. How do I …? A new baby might have the sickness. And I can lose Lydia and Jahleel at any moment.”
Suddenly, I’m crying again.
This time, my sister has me. Scarlett holds me in her arms until I’m calm. “There has to be an answer, Katherine—something I can do to keep them well. The right combination of herbs is out there. I’m not giving up. Maybe protect babies too. Our mothers need so much help. It’s not there.”
I kiss her brow. Someone has to try and keep pushing for health. “I’m going to check on Lydia. Then, I will be back outside Jahleel’s door. Can you go get Mr. Steele? The duke wants to be dressed. His legs are weak.”
Scarlett nods, then dashes off. I wait with my ear to the door until the steward and footmen arrive. When they enter, I see Jahleel sitting against his headboard.
He sees me watching before the door closes between us, then I go to Lydia’s chambers. I must see her and tell her that her father is better.
I put my hand on her door. The wood is cold beneath my palm. I’m frightened, but I still ease inside.
No new elephants seem to be in the large pink room, but the mural of castles along the far wall sparkles with fairy dust.
Then I see my little girl asleep in her bed—my baby. My living daughter—it is so good to think this and be able to say it aloud, not just in my heart.
As I move closer, I startle. The princess is here. She’s also asleep in a rocking chair at the side of the canopy frame of the bed.
Her eyes flicker open. “Jasha? Is he …?”
“Much better.” My whisper brings ease to her dark olive face.
