Katherine folded her arms and rocked in the chair. “Come on, Georgina. Tell me how terrible this is for you, how terrible Tavis was, or how terrible I am.”
I lifted from my chair, went to my sister, and kissed her brow. “There’s nothing any one of us can say to you that you haven’t already said to yourself. You know what you did, you know what Tavis did. None of that is your fault. You were married, you didn’t have a choice. Marriage takes it all away.”
She reached out and grabbed my hand. “I did have a choice. Wilcox Coal was ours, not mine, and I gave Tavis full control, trying to prove to him that I loved him. That he had my respect. Then he proved over and over that he wasn’t worth any of it—the love or the respect. I will never forgive myself. For what could’ve happened with Lydia, I’m just happy Mr. Carew has promised to always be available to us.”
Katherine rarely admitted that she made a mistake. I didn’t know what to say or do with that. I looked at her and wondered if this was defeat talking. There had to be a way to save everything.
Then I knew there was a way. “Katherine, have you thought about asking the duke for help? I’m sure he would give us a loan. I know he’d do it on good terms. Then, we could truly make a new start.”
She folded her arms. “He’s still here. The food on the table. The rug that he sent to Lydia.”
“Katherine, she likes the rug. It’s warm and cozy for her feet. He even got her to promise to keep her socks on when walking over the carpet. The duke will do anything to make sure she doesn’t get sick again.”
She covered her eyes with her hand. The only thing stopping my sister from seeing the good the man did was her pride.
Katherine rubbed her temples. “I can’t ask.” She groaned and shook her head, and then stopped. “We just have to get through the ball in a few weeks and remain respectable. I don’t have to make a decision on selling until then. If I can find a way to stomach asking, I’ll do it for you girls because you deserve me trying everything. Asking a favor of Torrance would be everything.”
With agood day, I left the table and headed to the parlor. My debut singing with Mark still had to happen. I still had to pretend to choose a new suitor to break off with him or something. That part of the plan was fuzzy.
Nonetheless, thePosthad a new Gilroy cartoon, a party with abolitionists and more comically drawn mixed couples. The scandal hadn’t died.
Fingers in position like Mama taught us, I began to play and sing my hymn.
Our little pianoforte didn’t sound as strong as the duke’s, but it was a lot safer than practicing with Mark.
The urge to send Mr. Thom with a note to apologize. With Mark, I’d found a new way of running away from pain. All I had to do was dredge up every potential problem and all his and my flaws and that was enough. I made Mark as bad as Tavis. I even sounded like Katherine in doing so.
At least I had run from heartbreak.
Mark wasn’t Tavis, but I couldn’t take the risk. We Wilcoxes had been through enough.
* * *
After leaving Scarlett and Lydia at home to do chores, my sister dragged me to Wilcox Coal. It was Friday. The Duke of Torrance had sent word that he’d visit at the house today.
I had a feeling Katherine purposely left to avoid seeing him. I wanted to see the duke and make sure that it was meetings keeping him busy these past two weeks, the two weeks since we left Anya House.
Didn’t want him to be sick.
After Lydia, being ill had a whole new terror associated with it.
Katherine was a good sister, a good person. But like our father, she was loath to apologize. She needed to say those words to the duke. He’d been sweet to us and continued to be. If she asked, he’d definitely give her a loan to keep Wilcox Coal and be rid of the creditors.
Mr. Thom came in from the last run of the day. “Got a new coal customer.” His tone was bubbly, but his hands and face bore black dust. “Another one of the duke’s neighbors wants us.”
“Excellent,” I said.
“Soon, ladies, we’ll have all of James Street. Next, his entire neighborhood.”
He doffed his jet hat to me, and then Katherine. “Your papa would be very proud. You’re growing this business again. Girls can do better at the runnin’ and the mathin’.”
After wiping his hands clean, he took off his fine red coat that matched the color of our company’s painted wood sign and left.
The door rattled shut and it was just me and Katherine again.
“Don’t start saying what I know you’re thinking.”
I brought my fingers to my chest. “Me? What could I know?”
