With our mother always sick before her passing, she’d become like our mother—disciplinarian, counselor, cook. Our father also relied upon her as if she were the oldest son.
I glanced at her. With the veins on the sides of her neck bulging, my older sister would explode at any minute.
Passing the wharf, the warehouses, the brewery, I wondered if anyone would speak first.
No one.
The gig stopped and we all filed out. Katherine lagged behind, close to Mr. Thom and the carriage.
On the steps of our house, Scarlett raised a hand as if she sat with our tutor. Whatever it was she wanted to say, she swallowed it and started to open the door to the house.
Lydia bolted from her side and stepped in front of Katherine. “Why do you have to ruin everything, Katherine? The duke said he wouldn’t be stopping by for a while. It’s not fair. It’s not.”
I bent down to her and held her. Her frustrated little body shook. Worse. She felt warm. Her fever from last night had returned.
“Lydia,” I said as I released her, “we will be going over to Anya House for the next couple of weeks. We’ll see him. We’ll see plenty of the duke. I’m sure if you are nice to Katherine, she’ll make sure you always get to come.”
“Good. ’Cause he’s my friend.” She pointed a finger at Katherine. “Don’t take him from us.”
The eldest Wilcox had tears in her eyes. “You want to see him that badly?”
“Yes. He’s my friend, mybestusfriend. I love him. He pays attention to me better than Tavis, even Papa. Today, he showed me his special book of maps. He said I could pick any place and be a princess where I wanted.” Lydia started to cry. “Anywhere. No one says that to us.”
Katherine scooped her up. “I’m sorry. I won’t take him from you. I understand. I understand.”
The little girl hugged her neck. “He’s mine. I need you all to understand. The duke’s mine.”
When Katherine set her down, the child twirled round and round. Her cream hem bobbed beneath her coat. “A princess. I can be a princess now. That’s better than anything.”
“You can’t love him. He’s a grown man.”
“Nooooo!” Lydia threw up her hands and ran inside.
Scarlett held the door for her but stayed on the steps, looking at me and Katherine. “Lydia is special to us. She loves the duke. We should keep him in our lives for her benefit alone.”
Katherine didn’t move or speak a word.
She looked hollow, empty.
Lydia was special to us all, but very special to Katherine. When the child was born, our little Lydia almost died. Her twin was stillborn.
Katherine and Mama sometimes acted as if Lydia had borrowed time.
The current Wilcox crisis wasn’t about health. It was about me. “Sis. I know you’re disappointed, but I think the duke’s plan will work.”
“Yes. Everything he does is better. He’s made my Lydia love him more.”
Katherine was almost never weak. She was solid and strong. Only death and dealings with her marriage to Tavis made her cry.
Right now, her face had become the Thames.
I wanted to close my eyes and run in the house. I couldn’t, but I didn’t know what else to do.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry I’m not good enough. That nothing I’ve done is good enough. I was a disappointment to Mama. I let Papa down, now I can’t protect you.”
She turned and started walking, then running toward the Thames.
Mr. Thom pointed at me. “Go after her. Doesn’t matter what happened today. You broke her. Go fix her.”
