I closed my eyes again and wanted to disappear.
Patience put her hand to my shoulder. Her eyes were kind, understanding. “It’s obvious your husband made a mistake. Friendship and love can be deceiving. He must have misread kindly affection for something else. I know him to be very sorry.”
“You know me, Patience. I make up my mind quickly. He had no faith in me after two years of marriage. I have none now.”
“I’ll support you. I only know that he’s been miserable without you.”
Awake and cooing, Noah reached for me and I took him from Patience. He clung to my neck and dribbled onto my coat.
Maybe I wasn’t doing so badly by him. Maybe I was more maternal than I gave myself credit for.
Patience peeked over my head. “You and Enna and Noah will come with me. You’ll be away from Covent Garden and be safe in residence with the duke and me. Noah and my Lionel can grow up together. I want them to be as close as brothers, like we were close. Then Gantry can visit with you in safety, in a place where you have power.”
“Are you trying to take over, Patience? I mean, I haven’t done so badly, sis. We’re safe. We’ve been safe.”
“You’ve been amazing, Mrs. Cecilia,” Enna said. “But you know how you fret about us when you go to your commissions. I’m in constant prayer until you return. The activities about here are scandalous. Let’s go with the rich one and the friendly white woman.”
Patience put her hand on Noah’s cheek. “That boy clings to you like you’re his mother. But this is not the place for any of you. You went to Demerara to save Helena. I’ve come to save you.”
The activities in Covent Garden could be bad. I had to acknowledge this. Sometimes I wore costumes to seem older or slovenly, anything else to escape men’s attention. I had stayed invisible until that night at the King’s Theatre.
“Patience, I don’t know about permanent living arrangements. Or the future. With the coins I’ve earned tonight, I’ll pay you to lodge Noah and Enna until I get back. I have to go with Lord Gantry to Warwick. Tramel is dying. It’s his last wish to see me. I came here to get Enna and Noah to go with me.”
Jemina stooped to Felton. “He’s starting to stir. I think we need to decide now.”
She was right. We were out of vases.
* * *
Between the broken vases and my sister, the other ladies and Noah—it would be too much to explain to the retired spy.
I ran to the door and flung it open. “Patience, take Enna and Noah. I’ll make excuses to Lord Gantry. Don’t want you in trouble with any duke.”
She put the coins back into my palm. “You’ll need this so you can catch a stagecoach and come back. We’re at Sandlin Court, here in town. In two weeks, we’ll be in the country at Hamlin Hall. Enna and Noah will be safe with me. When you’re done, you promise to come to me. No matter what.”
I fisted my fingers about the coins. “Yes. As soon as I’m done at Warwick, I’ll have Lord Gantry take me to you or I’ll hire a coach to do it, but no more time away from our family.”
Enna started making those signs of the cross motions again.
With Noah in my friend’s arms and Lady Ashbrook in tow, my sister headed to the door. Her waddle was so cute. She said, “If Gantry is the man I’ve come to know, he’ll prove himself to you. He’ll fight for love.”
“This trip is to fulfill Tramel’s last wishes, but I’ll speed to you. I’ve family to come back to. Family, my family, is all I ever wanted.”
Patience started to slip away. My chest felt so heavy. I didn’t want to say goodbye.
Capturing her fingers, I drew them to my broken heart. “Sandlin Court is where you all are? I will talk with Lord Gantry. If I can get out of going, I will. When you find the family you’ve missed, one shouldn’t chase ghosts.”
Felton shifted, and I pushed them out the door. “What? Cecilia.”
I closed the door, then rushed to his side. “Wake up, my lord.”
He punched with his arms, but it took a few moments for his eyes to open. “What happened? Did someone strike me?”
Picking up the piece of the mud vases, I waved the broken curve. “These fell.”
“I tripped on it, and hit my head on a brown vase?”
“Don’t know. I guess you may have, walking in the darkness.” I put my hand under his head and lifted it to my lap. “I’m just glad you’re awake.”
