He shouldn’t have emphasized the ending part, but she needed to know everything before agreeing. “I’m being honest. I can’t promise forever. We both know tomorrow isn’t promised.”
“Then, I’m pretty sure that we shouldn’t be spending our last hours in a dalliance. Good evening, my lord.”
He caught her arm, her unhurt one. “Jemina, no—”
“Ashbrook, is it the title that makes you like the rest, a heavy-handed peer who assumes every woman wants him?”
He’d ruined it by saying too much, but she had to know everything. “I don’t want anyone but you. I’m certain we’ll be good together.”
“As certain as you were with Phoebe Dunn?”
Her high-pitched tone hit him like a punch to the gut. Daniel dropped Jemina’s hand. “I was very certain about Phoebe, but she is gone. A man must move forward.”
Her eyes, the windows of her soul narrowed more. The passion they’d had drained to almost nothing.
He decided to take the little bit of invitation left in her eyes and kiss her.
Mid lean, her hand flew up and caught his chin, stroking his beard. “I’m curious about the length of this proposed affair. A week, a month, a year?”
Honesty dug a hole beneath his slippers, deep enough to be a decent grave. He’d never mislead her or have her hoping for something he couldn’t give. “Jemina, we’ll have a glorious time. All you have to do is agree to be mine.”
“Yours for the moment, then passed on to another. Is that how Lady Lavinias are made, disdain from a partner?”
“She discards and chooses her friends too. It’s not always the man’s fault.”
“Lord Ashbrook, I don’t know what to say about this proposition other than no.”
“Well, the fact that you haven’t slapped me is positive. Jemina, I should’ve been more polished. I should’ve practiced this speech.”
“I’d hate that this was something you’d practiced. It seems awful to convince yourself that your feelings for me won’t last.”
He groaned as she shredded his words. “This is rushed. I hadn’t given into temptation in a long time. I’m clumsy.”
“It’s a temporary infliction. Heals up nicely like bruised wrists.”
This trial was lost. Was there anything he could say to the jury for an appeal?
She tapped a patio stone with her buckled slipper. “I suppose this foolhardy offer means you feel something for me. Good to know I wasn’t crazy.”
“You’re not, and what I feel won’t be done in a day or even a few weeks. I’m in deep waters over you. Jemina, I’ve debated saying anything, but the spark between us burns up my caution. I’m admitting things horribly, but I don’t know how else to say how much I desire you.”
“You’re right. This is a horrible way to ask someone to be your mistress.”
He lifted his spectacles and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “You confuse me, but that might be a part of your charm. I want you, Jemina, but a mistress is all I can offer. I’m not marrying again. You just said you weren’t marrying either.”
“I meant right now. I’m sorry for you. The limitations that you’ve placed on your life are terrible. I don’t intend to remain joined to loss.”
“I’m not sure about the future, and I don’t know if you want to fit into my world. There are rules and expectations that you’ll not want to follow.”
“Because you’re a man and a peer?”
“Because I am a man, a peer, and a Blackamoor, and my child is Blackamoor.”
She hugged her elbows as if what he said hurt her. Nothing he spoke was untrue.
“Why even ask me to be your mistress? I’m not a peer like Lady Lavinia, and I’m not a Blackamoor, though that condition doesn’t seem to be a consideration for your affairs.”
“I’m sorry. Let me try once more.” He cleared his throat. “Jemina, you dazzle me, but my walk is very narrow. I’m dull, somewhat chained to my profession. My daughter is my priority. She needs me home to read to her, to put her to bed, to tell her all will be right in the morning.”
