She kissed my brow. “I’m so sorry.”
“I’m hunting a child in my nightmares, Patience. I know it. Every time I get close, I wake up or I’m in Bedlam screaming for my baby until I’m hoarse. And every man is telling me he doesn’t exist.”
“Don’t torture yourself like this, Jemina. Don’t. The memories could be of a niece or nephew or cousin back in Kingston. Maybe you were a governess to a wealthy fam—”
“The earl in there said I’m an heiress. I have a fortune. Why would I work as a governess?” My tone was hot with bitterness. I was grateful to have means, but what is money to a lost son? “The baby who haunts my dreams has to be mine. If my child was still in Kingston wouldn’t the family I left be looking for me?”
“You sure, Jemina? The sinking of theMinervacould be mixing up your recollection.”
“I didn’t ask about my husband, Patience, because I didn’t remember him, but I remember singing to a child. My song was loud and proud. You know my lullaby. ‘Il était un petit navire. Il était un petit navire.’ ‘There was once a little boat. There was once a little boat.’ ”
My eyes ran with water. “I sang that to my baby. I have to know the truth.”
Patience.
My Patience sobbed.
I’d hurt her heart with my story. I had to put her back together and hugged her tight. “I would sing it again, but it would probably be too loud.”
“Blubbering and laugher doesn’t mix, Jemina.” She swiped at her eyes.
“This could be a mistake. Some twisted nightmare that I’ve made true. Just because I remember fighting the water and theMinerva, that doesn’t make the rest true. But it feels true.”
Patience snort sniffled. “We’ll figure it out, but answers surely won’t come from sitting outside Finchely.”
“Ashbrook knows my past. Rather rude of him not to share.”
“Let’s go ask him, or are you going to kiss him instead?”
My cheeks heated. “No, unless you think that will get a confession.”
“Jemina?”
I nodded. “I know, but he has evidence in there. Has to.” Patience glanced toward the house. “This place is smaller than my Lionel’s Hamlin Hall, but it seems spacious. Plenty of places for children. I hear Ashbrook’s a good father. He dotes upon his daughter. Loves her something fierce.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“There’s many ways to get into that house, Jemina. I know you to be excellent with children. Maybe offer to help the bachelor.”
“You think he’d let me, a woman locked in Bedlam for two years who now thinks she has a child, be around his?”
“Jemina, you’re harmless, and do you think he’d let you kiss him if he thought you were insane?”
“He’s a man. He says I’m pretty. None of this requires a physician’s proof of sanity.”
“If you think that physical attraction is all there is between you and Ashbrook, go for it. Have at him. That would get you in the house.”
I pulled away shaking my head. “You’re teasing.”
“Yes, I am. Let’s corner him and ask direct questions. Lady Shrewsbury’s dinner at week’s end. He has to be there for his aunt.”
“That doesn’t sound easy, questioning a barrister.”
Patience threaded her hands with mine. “You don’t have to do this alone. I’ll help.”
“You’re wearing yourself thin fretting about the duke and his meetings with the War Department. He’s doing too much, remember?”
“Not too busy for you. You’re a sister to me.”
