His strong jaw held steady; his countenance was blank with those beautiful eyes boring down at me. He’d be good at playing whist.
“The war is continuing. I’ve written to Wellington about his need for a strategist. I was very good at strategy.”
I leaped up. “You are done playing guardian? You’re going to leave us?”
“Sit, LaCroy.” He pointed me back to the seat. “If I go anywhere, Lionel will come. I’m the only dependable family he has.”
That didn’t comfort me, and it was far from true.
“Mrs. LaCroy, I was wondering if you’d come with us. Officers can take family. Lionel needs supervision.”
“Was that the secret project—to figure out how to put yourself and Lionel in danger?”
“The war needs to end. Men are dying every day. If you can step up and help, you have to do it.”
“Why you? Haven’t you given enough? And why put the baby in danger?”
His face turned beet red. “No one has asked me to do so. I have yet to prove that I’m handy on a horse again.”
“Small blessings.”
“Were you this opinionated when you worked for Markham, or was there a reason he gave you special privileges?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You float about here as if you own the place. Were you Markham’s mistress?”
A little vomit rose in my throat. “Certainly not. I’m not that kind of woman. Why would you think this?”
“You’re very pretty, Mrs. LaCroy, and well-endowed, and—”
“The countess told me you’ve had your share of pretty women. Shouldn’t you know the type, someone like me who’s difficult versus someone more eager to please?”
“You are far from eager. My conquests were not Markham’s. My friends were independent women who knew exactly what they were getting, a man who loved war more than domestic life. But Markham, he has a habit of going after servants and women under duress. I sense you to be strong, Patience LaCroy, but everyone has a breaking point. Markham thrives on breaking things.”
The grip I had on my collar eased. “I’ve been through the worst, but never would I debase myself with the likes of Markham. Have you preyed upon servants?”
“I haven’t. I’m very careful with those I employ.”
There was something in his expression before he raised his countenance to the coffered ceiling. Something that said if they were equals, meeting as strangers, there might be different possibilities.
But this was a distraction.
Colin would do the same when he wanted me to hush. I wouldn’t be silent. If I’d spoken up sooner, I might have prevented my husband’s death.
“You’re a confident man, Your Grace. You know substance defines a man. Not a limb, but yet you go through this pretense with everyone wearing that padded bandage. I know nothing of war, but I saw the soldiers come to Demerara—close quarters, men crowded about. It will be difficult to hide your amputation. And why hide it at all? You were injured in service to your country.”
“You are correct, ma’am, and I don’t doubt myself. I doubt others. I spent my youth on the battlefield. Any hesitation in a leader’s ability can lead to problems on the field. That’s a disaster in the offing.”
“No one here doubts you.”
“You do.”
“Never you, but your judgment, yes. How can you even think of becoming so involved in Lionel’s life and then put yourself and him at risk?”
“I suppose taking a wily nanny along wasn’t insurance of Lionel or me returning unscathed.”
“No. It’s not. Even if I wanted to save you, how could I? I’m just a nanny, a foreigner.”
