Sol gave her a rather serious nod. “I’m not sure I can compete with that.”
“Can’t you?” she asked, biting her lip. After all, the last time she’d checked, his room was ten times the size of this one and his tub was quite large.
“Well, I do have a tub, though it isn’t quite as fancy.” He placed his hands in his jacket pockets. “It was one of the few luxuries I insisted on in my new house.”
“New house?” Hannah squinted at him. Since when had that happened?
“I’m in Aldgate, near Doc and Gertrude and theother ladies actually,” he told her. “I’m renting right now, but I hope to buy in the future, provided the Crown continues to permit it.” He ducked his head, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s rather empty and I do need some help setting it up as I’ve never quite done that by myself. Budgeting too, since I’m only living on my salary from the surety company.”
She gaped at him. “What happened?”
“I gave up the rest. Gave it to Frederick’s wife. I made a bargain with the Viscount Penrose, you see. It was a small price to pay to make sure no one, especially not my brother, tries to kill either of us again.” He gave her a rather cryptic smile before his eyes turned serious. “He was not the man I thought him to be.”
Her stomach twisted at the pain in his eyes. She’d give anything to take that away. She shook her head, her voice catching. “Sol, I’m… I mean, I’m so sorry.”
And she was. While she had no great love for the man who’d threatened her, it was clear Sol had loved him—still loved him, from the look on his face—and he was his family. That sort of betrayal could only be devastating.
“It wasn’t your fault.” Sol shrugged. “I was so consumed with this image of my brother, of him being the person I wanted him to be—actually, in a way we both were. We both wanted each other to be something we weren’t, or couldn’t be. He wanted the image of love and loyalty, but all he saw was the reflection.”
Her eyes welled, because it wasn’t fair. He deserved better, so much better.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, moving toward her. He reached out and took both her hands in his. A gesture she also didn’t deserve.
She shook her head. “It’s… it’s that you are so open and so loving and so loyal and you give so much but—you deserved for him to love you and I… I do love you, but I withheld the words because I was frightened—frightened of your realizing that I’m not enough, that my love isn’t enough and that was unfair. You’re so brave and I’m such a coward that I insisted you didn’t know your own mind. I thought I was protecting us both but was really only hurting us.”
He clucked his tongue. “Well, this is a mess.”
“What?” she asked, blinking back at him.
He released one of her hands, gesturing around the room. “This wasn’t my plan. I’m supposed to rescue you from a metaphoric tower, tell you of my triumphs in battle, like a good knight, and properly propose marriage. And maybe, hopefully, you’ll permit me to take you up against a wall or in the room that I want to have furnished but now only has a bit of bedding on the floor and my trunks.” He retook her hand and squeezed.
“Your trunks?” She wrinkled her nose.
“You think I would have left my garments behind? Never. As I said, some luxuries are necessary.” He stepped back, spreading his arms wide and gazing over her body with that hungry expression that always undid her. “Like that gown on you. Is it Isabelle’s? Do you think she’ll let me buy it for you?” His voice came out a bit strangled, as if he truly did like it. As if he still wanted her.
“Just beautiful,” he whispered. “You should have a dozen like that.”
“You can’t afford a dozen,” she managed to say. Which was probably true. After all, how much could the Lira and Berab families really pay him? And evenif he did have some items of value in the trunks, it took quite a bit of money to start a household and—
“Yet.” He held up a finger. “I know it won’t come as easily as planned, or perhaps not even at all, but that doesn’t matter. No amount of money or status or respect could replace you. And having any of the above without you to share them with would be meaningless and empty.” He shook his head. “You said I’d grow to resent you if you stayed, but it’s the opposite. Without you, nothing in my life seems to have worth. So I intend to make you mine. And to do whatever it takes to make you feel happy and loved, because I love you very much too.”
He pulled her against his body and cupped her chin. “I was wrong to have even considered you might be right. That I would be happy any other way. I won’t. I should have found the words to explain this to you weeks ago. And I promise, if you have me, while I won’t not make mistakes—I’m far from perfect—I’ll do my best to make as few of them as possible where you’re concerned. And to keep you safe and love you with all my heart.” He bit his lip. “Would you accept that?”
“Yes, Sol. Very much, yes.” She nodded, on the verge of tears, and this time, she didn’t even care. “But I don’t deserve—”
“Shh.” He bent down and brushed her lips with his, halting her protest and making her melt. Then he pulled back and stared down at her, his eyes serious once more.
“The one thing I ask is you never say that about yourself, ever again. No one makes all the right choices, and no one can stand alone. We just do the best we can in the world in which we’re placed.” He gripped her hands again. “You’re a wonderful sister, a wonderfuldaughter, a wonderful person, and if anyone says otherwise—including you—well, they should be careful as I have friends in high places.” He smirked.
“I love you, Hannah. Being with you makes me happy and there is no one else with whom I’d rather build a life. So will you let me rescue you?”
She brushed her lips against his before pulling back. “As long as we can use the front door, yes. And so long as you’ll take my rather paltry dowry to help with expenses. I do have one, apparently, as my sister decided that she’ll only accept half of what I intended for her.”
She smiled a little to herself before gazing back at him, happiness glowing within her. “I love you too, Sol. With you, no matter where, I’ll be happy forever, I know it.”
He pulled her into him, embracing her fully. “So long as we’re together, we can make all our dreams come true.”
