“I don’t think so.” It was his turn to shrug. “Though, to be fair, you’re a bit more subtle in polite society than he is.”Though honest with me.Which he could not think about, because that would only lead to foolish hope and muddle him, which neither of them needed.
“Very true.” She stepped closer, so close that he could easily wrap his hands around her waist and pull her to him once more, even though he shouldn’t, even though it would only cause pain. His fingers twitched but remained on his thighs. Because for some reason, with her he didn’t play a role, and to believe for even a moment that she wanted him, just Aaron . . . Impossible.
“Which is probably why my grandmother hesitates with him so much—that, and I suspect a small part of her believes the gentiles’ views of our part of the community versus yours, no matter how above that line of thinking she pretends to be. After all, it’s hard not to see yourself as superior, nonsense or not.” She rolled her dark eyes, breaking him out of his gloomy thoughts. “And it’s no secret that she wanted rabbinic lineage. Under all the silks and jewels and practiced manners, she’s still a second-rate merchant’s daughter yearning for a true learner.”
“No matter how much your class of earners has risen in status in the community.” He stared up at her, already imagining her hands on his shoulders.
“Correct. We’ve climbed so high that we are supposed to be able to do only what we were meant to—to only study. To transform ourselves into learners.” She gave a harsh half laugh. “At least Weiss has cunning. And clear wants.” She cocked her head and refocused on him, tapping a finger against her chin. “What do you want, Mr. Ellenberg?”
Other than for you to touch me?The words soared through his mind even as he fought them. He gazed at Isabelle but she was still staring at him, so he thankfully hadn’t said them out loud.
“What?” he managed.
“What do you want? You ask me what I desire in life, talk about what I allegedly deserve, but what about you? What do you wish? What do you dream?” she repeated. She fiddled with the ribbon tying her gown below her neck, and his mouth went dry once more. Oh, for that to be his hand instead of hers . . .
“Dreams and wishes are too expensive for the likes of me.” He shook his head as he worked to focus on a spot above her head, even as the scent of citrus swirled around him, making each sense come alive with not only want, but intoxicating lust. But it wasn’t just lust, no matter how much he wanted it to be. “And believe it or not, I really don’t mind my job now. At least not most of the time.”
“Really?” She rocked her hips closer. His body tightened and he worked not to gasp.
“I benefit the community. And it’s the only place where I’ve felt like I was truly of use, like I could belong.” Well, with the exception of his moments with her. Not that he could make that confession. Especially now, as the time he had with her was drawing to a close. He squeezed his eyes shut. “I have no parents, no family of my own. However, the people there and the animals I care for make me feel . . .” And he couldn’t finish the words.
Not now. Not when he was leaving. He swallowed.
He’d be all right. He’d find a new community. This time with the funds and stature to allow him to have that family of his own. To get what he had always wanted.
The cost, it seemed, was just a touch higher than anticipated.
A light breeze rippled through the trees and shiver dimples rose on her bare arms, but she didn’t even flinch. She reached up and placed her palms on his shoulders. “Is this all right?” she whispered.
Yes.His body screamed the word even if it was wrong and perilous and dangerous and the last thing either of them needed.
“It shouldn’t be.” He shook his head.
“Do you want me to let go?” she asked, her fingers tensing on his shoulders.
“No.” He leaned into her—he couldn’t resist. He wasn’t that strong. He wet his lips as every fiber of his being burst into flame with need. “No, I don’t.”
“What do you want?” Her voice was husky now as her body brushed his, only a few layers of thin material between them.
He should stop this. He should resist. But there was no way. The fire of lust was about to turn him into ash, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was this moment and all its promise.
Aaron gazed into her eyes, never surer of anything in his life. “I want you.”
Isabelle stared down at Aaron as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Sitting on the edge of the fountain, he pulled her hips toward his, just as she’d imagined.
This was a terrible idea. Not just because she was going to be betrothed to someone else in mere days. No, because she saw him. Saw how he loved and cared for and nurtured everyone and everything. Saw what he wanted. And it wasn’t respect or independence, though he’d appreciate those.
No, it was something she could not give him herself but that her money would enable. Something that, if she was a good person, she’d rejoice in him receiving. Except the concept filled her with a whole host of unpleasant emotions that she should not have and did not need.
If she was a better person, she’d pay him now and tell him to run. Far away from her and the garden. She had the power to protect them both. If only she was just a touch stronger.
Except she wasn’t. And in the moonlight, right and wrong and good and bad turned so topsy-turvy that she was near lost. She pressed her body against his, already swaying to the delicious friction. “How do you want me?”
“What?” Aaron’s brow pinched in confusion.
She swallowed. How to approach this without pressuring him into doing something he’d regret? Perhaps guiding him with action? Isabelle bent down to whisper in his ear but caught his lobe between her teeth, like he had done to her in the library, sucking a little as pleasure shot through her once more. He groaned, dipping his head back.
“What exactly do you want to do with me?” she asked, her body already humming with possibilities.
