I still believe it, I think.
“Look, I had no idea that Adam liked Mariana,” Bram says now. “She never even talked about him, and he never told me.” His lips twist, gaze drifting away from me, like he’s trying to conjure up some memory. “I knew they were weird around each other. But Adam has that effect on some people. He’s loud and forceful where Marianawas quiet and gentle—she worked at the library, for God’s sake. I just assumed they didn’t like each other. Honestly, it was one of the reasons I was thinking of ending things with her.”
“Like you did the first time,” I say quietly, remembering that day in the woods, the summer before last. I thought I’d have more time to think about that day, to think over Bram’s words.So you and I… But then a few days later, he was back with Mariana. “You never did tell me why you two broke up that first time.”
Bram flushes. “Because it was humiliating.” He runs his finger over the now-faint white line that used to be a scratch on the back of his hand. “Mariana asked me point-blank if I had feelings foryou,” he says, voice rough, “and…I didn’t know how to answer that. I just knew I couldn’t lie to her. So we broke up.”
My heartbeat accelerates. It’s pumping furiously in my chest, my head, my hands. Everywhere.
“I let myself hope you felt the same way, and then that day in my room with the painting and afterward in the woods…well, you made it pretty clear that it wasn’t ever going to happen. So I told Mariana that, no, I didn’t have feelings for you, and she took me back. Only that time”—he twists his lips—“Ididlie to her.”
“Bram,” I say, heat fanning up my neck, “you don’t know what you’re saying.”
“I do.” He’s looking at me likeI’mthe one who’s confused. He shifts closer to me on the couch until our legs touch. “I was so sure you wanted me to kiss you that day.” He pauses, as if replaying the moment in his mind, and my face heats. “Why didn’t you kiss me back?”
I avert my eyes to the coffee table. “I told you. I thought you were with Mariana.”
“You know what I mean. In the woods, when I told you that was over.”
My chest is tight, my thoughts all scrambled. “Because you’re my best friend.”
“That’s what you say about Henry too.”
“Yes, but—”
“But with Henry, it’s the truth,” Bram cuts in. “You two are friends, always have been, always will be. For you and me, it’s not true, Hayden.” He reaches out slowly to cup my chin, gently tilting my head until I look him in the eyes. I can’t help but notice that for the first time in ages, he used my real name. It sounds strange and intimate all at once, like he’s broken me open. “You and I arenotjust friends. And I think you know that.”
I swallow, the sound like a blast. “You’re trying to mess with me,” I breathe, my face only inches from his. “You love messing with me.”
“Yes,” he says unabashedly. “It’s one of my favorite things. And I would like to continue doing it forever.”
I glare at him, but I don’t pull away. “Adam says that Henry loves me. You would do this to him? The way you did to Adam with Mariana?”
Bram’s jaw clenches. “I didn’t do anything to Adam,” he grits out. “I told you, I didn’t know about his feelings for Mariana.” He lets out a breath through his teeth. “It explains a lot, though, about his state of mind this past year. His depression. He was dealing witha lot more than physical injuries.”
He’s right about that. The photo album in Adam’s room was there because he missed Mariana. Whether their connection was all in his head or not, Adam has been torn up about losing the love of his life.
“As for Henry,” Bram continues, “look, naturally he thinks he’s in love with you. Who wouldn’t be? Maybe he won’t see it at first, but he’s not the guy for you. And you are not the girl for him.”
“Because I’m the girl foryou,” I say, only it fails to carry my intended sarcasm.
His gaze slips from my eyes to my lips, then down to my throat. “You didn’t do anything wrong Friday night, if that’s what you’re worried about.” He lets his hand fall from my face, and I hate myself, because I immediately want it back. “If Adam tries to make something out of this, I’ll back you up.”
“I’m not sure how much your word counts in a situation like this, but thanks.”
“I only want you and Henry happy. You did nothing wrong in the garden, but I do think…” he starts but stops himself.
“What?” I press. “Tell me.”
He bites his lower lip. “I think it’s—nothing. It’s nothing.” Only the way he looks at me is the complete opposite ofnothing.
“Tell me about the fire alarm,” I whisper, my full voice trapped inside me.
“Like I said—”
“I can’t trust you if you don’t tell me,” I interrupt.
His smirk is joyless. “That’s not exactly howtrustworks.”
