Although she longed to see him, to hug him tight and inhale that intoxicating scent of sunscreen and lake water and Sam-nessthat clung to his skin, she couldn’t bear to. From here on, her days at home were numbered. Each time she saw him, she’d think of it as “the visit before the last one” as she counted down to yet another heartbreak. Instead, she turned her phone to Do Not Disturb.
The judge’s decision that day had sealed their fates. Unable to sleep, Julia stayed up all night listening to the playlist Sam had made her until the sun broke through her curtains. By then, eyes dry as husks, she’d decided it was best to let go of him, too. She pulled a sheaf of pages from her journal and grabbed a pen.
As the sun rose with fiery color, Julia crept out of the house and down to the lake where the surface glittered like garnet. Barefoot, she walked carefully along the sandy edge to the tree near the egret’s nest. In the sand, she drew an arrow pointing to the weeping willow. On its trunk she tacked her handwritten note. “I think I loved you, Sam Ryder. Thank you for all you’ve done for me. Please respect my wishes now, and let me go.”
Somehow she limped through the rest of the day packing boxes and counting the hours until bedtime, all the while wondering if Sam had found her note. When she did not hear from him by nightfall, she exhaled with relief and then cried herself to sleep.
Late that night, Julia was awakened by the crack of pebble against glass. At first she wondered if she’d imagined it. There, she heard it again. She sat up, startled.
Hesitantly, she pulled her curtain aside and peered down into the darkness. She could make out a figure on the lawn, and her heart leaped at the sight of him: Sam.
Once outside, she barely had time to pull the door closed behind her when he stepped forward. “Jules, how can you just cut me off like that? Without even saying goodbye?”
She let herself be pulled into his arms, and there was thatall-comforting scent of Sam that filled her senses and made her knees go weak. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his middle. He felt strong and sure, and she ached with having missed him all this time. “I’m glad you came. I was wrong.”
Now, with Sam holding her tight on the front step and the moon overhead, Julia gave in. Together they stood a long time, the rise and fall of the peepers’ song echoing around them until, reluctantly, they parted. “C’mere.” Julia took his hand and pulled him to sit beside her on the front step.
“I can’t believe you’re going,” Sam said. He shook his head, and in the blue light of the moon, she watched his boyish flop of hair fall forward. He pushed it out of his eyes. God, she would miss him.
“Neither can I.”
“But we’ll stay in touch. That won’t change.” Beneath his earnest words was a truth she already knew but did not want to articulate aloud. Everythingwouldchange. She’d meet new people there, he’d continue on here. Their lives would be pulled in different directions, and apart was apart, no matter the miles between.
Sam had no idea how lonely it was not to have a family. “Maybe Pippa and I can come back for Thanksgiving with your family or the Fitzpatricks.”
He smiled in the darkness. “That would be great.”
They sat and talked until their eyelids and limbs grew heavy with sleep and they had almost run out of things to say, and then they sat shoulder to shoulder like they had those first nights on their rock in the field, saying nothing. Suddenly, Sam pointed skyward, and she followed his finger in time to see a silver streak through the sky: a shooting star. Sam turned to her. “Julia Lancaster, you’re my girl.”
Her eyes filled with hot tears. “I am.”
They kissed goodbye. It began tenderly. But then became urgent. Julia felt her insides stir until they ached, and Sam pressedagainst her with what must have been the same desire. Then she pulled away. “This is too hard.”
Sam placed his hands on either side of her face. Julia felt so small and Sam’s hands so large, as if he could hold all her worries and wants in those soft strong palms. “I got your note down by the lake. The one that said you thought you loved me.”
“I don’t think it. I know it,” she told him.
“Well, I loved you first.”
Julia pressed her lips to his. Then, before her body or her heart gave in, she turned and dashed back up the steps.
Through the window, she watched Sam go, unable to hold back her tears. It was the summer of goodbyes. To all the people she loved. To the life she’d known. To the person she used to be. No matter what happened, Julia vowed she would not say another goodbye.
Thirty-SevenWendell
After he’d left the courthouse with Roberta, he had wanted nothing more than to go straight to Julia and Pippa with news of what he’d done. But Roberta had cautioned him that the court proceedings might take time, and worse, getting the girls’ hopes up again would not be fair. There was one person, however, whom he had to tell.
The next morning, he walked up the steps to the front door. Candace opened the door before he could.
“Good morning,” he said, pulling his cap off his head. “I’m sorry to come by so early, but it couldn’t wait.”
Candace looked distracted. “I’ve been up for hours as it is; don’t worry.” Then, after regarding him more carefully, “Is everything all right?”
Wendell swallowed hard. “I wanted to tell you in person. I applied for guardianship of Julia and Pippa.”
Candace’s mouth fell open. “You did what?”
“As you know, Julia came to me with this idea a long time ago. And like you, I thought it made no sense.”
