“Call me if you need anything, okay? Company. A cheeseburger. A bottle of bourbon. Whatever.” She yanked the purse free from his hand, pecked him on the cheek, and headed for the door. “Thanks for the pudding.”
“Tell him!” he shouted after her.
Olivia
She was beside herself. They’d been home from the hospital for almost a week, and Luci still hadn’t spoken a word.
“It’s normal for a traumatic episode to trigger a setback,” Alison had explained at their last session. Olivia had called for an emergency appointment, even though Luci’s schedule had been reduced to once a week for “summer hours.”
“As prolonged as this?” Olivia couldn’t accept it. It was one thing for Luci to be mute around others or in public places. But at home? With her own mother? It had become nearly impossible for Olivia to manage. Luci had reverted to gesturing and drawing, or worse, simply not expressing herself at all. And now that her arm was in a cast, Olivia felt stranded. They couldn’t go to the beach or swim at the lake. And it wasn’t like Luci had any real friends Olivia could call up for a playdate. Luci was hot and fidgety, and Olivia was at a loss as to how to fill their days.
As it was, Ben’s art show was coming up, and she needed to put in more hours in the barn studio. She was behind on publicity and had taken to loading Luci in the car and taking her with her when she went to the printers to pick up fliers and advertisements, and then all over Washington, Kent, Roxbury, and New Milford as they delivered them to local newspapers and posted them inbookstores, coffee shops, and dance studios. Marge was a big believer in local word of mouth, and despite Olivia’s attempt to bring the couple into the social media world, Marge still insisted she do it the old-fashioned way: in person and on foot.
“Honey, we live in the country,” she reminded Olivia, gently. “People know us. They look for our events in lifestyle magazines and on coffeehouse bulletin boards. Then they tell their friends.”
Personally, Olivia didn’t think it mattered where they lived. Instagram and Facebook would save them all a lot of trouble, if Ben would just allow it. But she honored their wishes, and loaded Luci into the car to make their deliveries. If nothing else, it broke up the day and gave her a respite from speech therapy and doctor appointments. There was comfort in doing ordinary things.
The pediatric orthopedist gave Olivia somewhat more hope. “She’s healing beautifully,” she told them. “Seven more weeks and this cast will be off.”
Just in time for summer and swim season to end, Olivia thought glumly, to herself. To Luci and the doctor, she quipped, “Great. Just in time for school!” She refused to wonder if Luci would still be silent then, as kindergarten started. Just in time to ruin her start to school and hopes to make friends. No, she would not project her doom and gloom that far ahead, she decided. Instead, she hurried Luci from the office, and straight over to the Sweet Spot ice cream shop, where she ordered Luci a strawberry cone, and a double scoop of coffee ice cream in a cup for herself. It wasn’t like she’d be at the beach anytime soon, she figured, as she dipped her spoon into the creamy caffeinated depths.
But there was more to concern herself with that day. Jake was coming home from rehab. From the start, there was no question in Olivia’s mind as to where he would go; he was her fiancé. But Jake saw it otherwise. “I can’t impose on you girls,” he’d insisted.“The cottage is tiny, and you’ve got your hands full already with Luci and with Ben’s upcoming show.”
Olivia had waved her hand, as if swatting away a fly. “Ridiculous. We’re going to be living together soon enough. And it’s a one-level entryway, unlike your place with all those stairs. Plus, I get to take care of you.”
It was what she’d wanted all along, really. To fall asleep and wake up next to the man she loved. Which they’d purposely held off on, solely for Luci’s sake. Since they’d been dating, they’d agreed to no overnights unless Luci was “sleeping over” at Marge and Ben’s. Which they’d managed to pull off a few times, though it never seemed enough. That was the hard part of “dating” as a single mother, the balance of personal needs with the respect and sensitivity to your child.Kids come firsthad always been her motto. And as hard as it was to uphold, especially on those nights she and Jake were nestled on her couch watching a movie, and she was so tired, and he felt so cozy, in the end she always managed to tear herself away and kiss him goodbye on the doorstep. It was a promise she’d made to herself as a parent, as much as to Luci. And one of the things she most loved about Jake was that whenever her resolve faltered, he was right there to prop her up. He was like that.
Now, however, they’d all be under the same roof. Perry’s visit to her house the other night had been unexpected, but not nearly as much as his message had been. It didn’t feel right, the two of them talking about Jake while he was stuck in recovery over at the rehabilitation center. A place he was dying to get out of, even though the thought of that worried Olivia just as much as her desire to spring him. What would he do when he was out? At least there he had a set schedule. There was PT and OT. There were doctor visits and people around to help with everything. Once he was home, he’d be bored stiff. Limited in both activityand independence. The thought of having to take care of him and get him to his appointments, to do the driving and cooking and housework alone, didn’t bother her so much. But adding that on top of everything else she was juggling at the moment was beginning to feel daunting.
Perry’s visit had been made with good intent, of that she was certain. If quirky, Perry was most certainly a noble guy. And Olivia could see in his eyes how conflicted he’d felt having to confront her like that, behind his little brother’s back. On some level, that took guts. But she accepted his news with a healthy measure of skepticism. This seemed tinged with that age-old sibling rivalry the two of them had been nursing for many years. From the beginning Jake had shared with her the complicated nature of their relationship, and his regret at never quite understanding it. This had all started well before she entered the picture, she reminded herself, and as such she would not allow Perry’s concerns to overshadow what she knew to be true of the man she wanted to marry. Jake’s heart was pure, and there was no ego in the way he conducted himself. All along, she had trusted him unconditionally. Something she’d never done before with anyone, especially since Luci’s father had walked out on her years before. Perry had his reasons for doubting Jake, just as Olivia had her own for trusting him implicitly. But though Perry did not change her mind, his visit had served to unnerve her. If anything, it seemed to have given voice to a growing doubt already within.
Something about the accident still didn’t sit right. Initially, Olivia had been consumed with making sure that Luci and Jake were all right. Then came the order of recovery: the surgery, the discharge to rehab, the subsequent doctor appointments. It had been easy to get sucked into the grind and therefore ignore any sense of discomfort she harbored.
But at night, when Luci was safely asleep down the hall and she was alone with her thoughts, Olivia faced questions. About how the boat could’ve just crashed like that. Jake was the one adult on the boat; and the one adult she trusted her baby with. There was no doubt he was suffering from guilt as much as from his physical injuries. So much so, that she wanted to alleviate it for him in any way she could. But still—there was that lurking sense of dread she felt in the middle of the night when her mind wandered. That somehow he wasn’t being straight with her. She’d pressed him in the hospital after the officers interviewed him, and he’d looked at her in a way that made her certain he was about to tell her something more. But he never did. Since then, a disquiet had simmered in Olivia’s head every night she lay it on her pillow.
But then morning would come. When sunlight streamed through the gauzy curtains in the cottage, and Buster stretched at the foot of her bed, and like the fog outside her window her doubts lifted. In the light of day, there were certain truths Olivia relied on: Jake loved Luci. He loved her. And he would’ve done anything to keep both of them safe.
In that vein, she determined to welcome him home. She’d put him on the couch and make it as comfortable as possible. That would solve the issue of the stairs, as well as her concern about sharing a bed with Jake in front of Luci. Of course they would once married, but until they moved in together she thought it best not to. Especially now. Since the accident, Luci was fragile; as much as Jake needed her, Olivia wasn’t sure if his being around would be helpful or prove more of a setback for her child. She couldn’t risk the latter.
“What do you think about Jake coming to stay with us?” she asked, as they sat outside on the bench with their ice cream. Luci was working her tongue around the circumference of her cone,trying to keep up with the pink river of melting ice cream coming down its side. Olivia took the cone and tilted it, to help.
Luci didn’t answer.
“It’s kind of like a slumber party,” Olivia explained. “But for longer.”
Luci looked at her over the top of her cone, curiously. Olivia tried to imagine what questions might be batting around in her head.
“We can practice living together, which we’re going to do when Jake and I get married. But there will be some things that take a little getting used to. Like having Jake’s stuff in our place. Or Jake eating the food from our fridge, or maybe using the potty when he needs to.”
Luci scrunched her nose. Any reference to “potty” always got her.
“We’re going to be sharing our house.” Olivia paused. “What I was wondering is if you’re sure you can share Mommy time?”
Luci turned her attention across the street to a family walking by. Had Olivia struck a chord of anxiety? Or had Luci’s mind already drifted to something else? Olivia was growing weary of guessing, of placing words in her daughter’s mouth. This was a time when she needed to know, really know, what Luci felt.
Finally, Luci looked at her and nodded.
“So, you’re okay with Jake coming to stay with us?”
