“Here,” she said, thrusting the backpack toward him. “Take it.”
Sully took the bag from her hand, and she waited for him to unzip it and retrieve the bottle. He could keep the backpack, for all she cared. Instead, he set it down on the floor of the boat. Then he extended his hand. “Come on.”
It was a directive more than an invitation. But she reached out.
Sully’s grip was warm. He tugged her forward and she stepped down into the boat, landing roughly on the seat beside him. Someone laughed. The engine sputtered and they turned out toward deep water. As they picked up speed, Sully shifted beside her on the bench, and she could feel the warmth of his leg against her own. The boat surged and she fumbled to hang on to the side. Her hair streaming out behind her, Emma threw her head back. She wanted to scream at the stars.
Olivia
The playdate had been a disaster. “We haven’t heard a peep from Ruby or her mother since. I invited them to come over, but Helen declined, saying their schedule was ‘terribly full.’?”
Olivia slumped against the speech pathologist’s overstuffed couch, playing with her engagement ring. Luci was just outside in the waiting room. “I don’t know which is worse, keeping Luci home to protect her from this kind of thing or pushing her back out there to socialize.”
Alison tapped the eraser tip of her pencil thoughtfully against her chin, considering Olivia’s words. “Neither,” she said, finally. “It’s a matter of finding a balance between the two. You’re doing the right thing by giving her these opportunities. That said, the right thing often isn’t easy.”
“It’s downright brutal.” What Olivia most appreciated about Alison was the relationship they’d forged since she’d moved to Connecticut. Leaving New York, where Luci had received therapy through the Brooklyn school district as a preschool student, had been hard. Starting over with a new school district, new therapist, and pediatrician had felt daunting. Olivia always came to Alison’s office feeling small and inadequate against the world, ripe with anecdotes of their latest challenges, e.g., the playdate. But Alisonsent her back out every time, bolstered with strategies and encouragement. Buster was a great therapy dog. But what Olivia really wanted to do was put a leash on Alison and bring her along, too.
“What about the social group I referred you to? How’s that going?”
Alison had suggested that small group interactions with children going through similar struggles might best help Luci. The trouble was, there weren’t many kids dealing with selective mutism living nearby, especially in the more rural hills of Connecticut. They’d done a similar playgroup in New York, and the ages and diagnoses of the children in the group ranged from Asperger’s to autism to general anxiety disorders. Olivia liked the support of other parents also struggling to provide their children with meaningful social experiences, and the empathy that came with that. But the group Alison had suggested she join was an hour away, in the Hartford area, and getting there with any regularity just wasn’t easy. “We tried it twice,” Olivia told her. “And there were some nice kids in the group. But Hartford is so far. Which is why I thought it’d be good to pursue some relationships here, within the community.” She threw up her hands. “I don’t know, maybe I should rethink it.”
Alison regarded her with sympathy. “You’re doing great, Olivia. When Luci starts kindergarten this fall, there will be more consistent opportunities for interaction. She’ll see those classmates every day.”
Olivia winced. That was true, but it was also part of the problem. Luci would deal with these struggles and setbacks every single day. And at the end of the day, none of the therapists or doctors could possibly understand what it was like for Olivia. It was she who climbed into bed with Luci and rubbed her back as she said a little prayer for a friend on a good night. Or reassuredher when Luci cried that she had none on a bad one. It was Olivia who lingered in her child’s doorway, watching her little girl sleep, finally free from her worries if only for a few hours. No bedtime story or session of therapy could change that.
“I have some other news. I’m engaged.”
Alison brightened. “That’s wonderful! How did Luci respond?”
Olivia smiled, allowing her mind to wander back a few days. The morning after Jake proposed, she’d told Luci the news alone. Jake had wanted to be in on the conversation, but Olivia felt that if they really wanted Luci’s genuine response, it would be best if she did it.
“All right,” he’d agreed. “But when we’re a family, we’ll be doing these things together, right?” The look in his eyes was not a demanding one. He wanted to be brought into the fold.
To her delight, Luci had shrieked when Olivia told her.
“So we’ll live together?”
“That’s right. Jake will be here for school days and weekend days. He’ll be here when you wake up in the morning, and to tuck you in when you go to bed at night. You, me, Buster, and Jake. We’re going to be a family, Lu.”
Luci had smiled, the little gap between her front teeth showing in full. “Buster will be so happy!”
After their appointment with Alison, Olivia stopped at the market to pick up some things for dinner.
That night Jake came over after work, and they grilled chicken and squash on the barbecue before taking a long walk with Luci and Buster. After, when Olivia had given Luci her bath and helped her into bed, Jake had climbed the stairs and stood in the doorway with a book tucked under his arm. “May I?” he’d asked, showing them the cover of Paddington Bear. “This was my favorite when I was little.”
Olivia looked at him with surprise. Jake often came up to say good night to Luci, but he’d always left them to their story time alone, a gesture she had seen as respectful. The intimacy of this new offer touched her.
And apparently, Luci, too. Instead of looking away when he asked, Luci had scooted over to make room for him. Olivia slipped off the bed as Jake climbed into her spot; then she lingered in the doorway listening as Jake read aloud. His voice was melodic. Luci’s eyes were glued to the illustrations, but Olivia couldn’t take hers off of Jake. The sight of him propped up against Luci’s pink lace pillows, surrounded by stuffed animals, was more than she could bear.
Now, with Luci sound asleep and the peepers singing their nighttime chorus, she and Jake lingered on the back patio in the growing darkness, a bottle of wine between them. Jake looked up at the stars. “There will be other playdates,” he reassured her.
“I hope so.” Olivia looked for a star to wish on.
“Maybe what you girls need is a break.” He smiled. “With some good food and company. And a view.”
Olivia leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. The stars were growing brighter against the darkening sky. “That sounds divine. And where exactly is this magical place?”
“My parents’ place. Let’s get everyone together on the boat. We’ll make a day of it on the lake.”
