“Nothing. I’m coming.” Properly chastised, I pulled on the joggers I had on earlier and left my bedroom.
When I entered my media room, she had a photo of me and Kensie on my TV that I’d never seen. A picture of Kensie running into my arms after my victorious practice when she professed her love for the first time.
“Where did you get this?” I couldn’t tear my eyes from the evidence of our joy.
“I took the photo and kept it to give to you as a wedding gift one day. You were so happy in this picture.” Ms. Murielle sat in one of the recliners and patted the seat beside her.
I sat down. “We were.”
“And you can again, if you let go of what happened.”
“Trust was already hard for me because of my mother, and then add billionaire status, and I always have to keep one eye open,” I explained to Ms. Murielle. “I thought she was different.”
“She is, which is why you fell in love with her.” She poked my forehead. “Then you have to be stuck on stupid with Emme and run off Kensie. That woman didn’t want to come over here, and when I convinced her to do it, your ex is here?”
Edging to the end of my recliner, I bellowed, “You went to see her behind my back when I’ve asked you not to? Stay out of my personal business.”
“Lower your voice right now, Canaan Jackson, or so help me God, I’m walking out that door and not looking back.” Her chest heaved up and down. “I’ve been here for you, taking care of you, never saying anything when you let those skanks come in here and destroy your stuff because you won’t commit—traveling and preparing meals at a moment’s notice because of your impulsiveness. Whatever you have asked of me, I have done it. You treat me like family until I say something you don’t like. Then I’m just the hired help.”
“Not true.” Her words cut like a knife.
“I’m not finished, Canaan.”
“Naw . . . naw . . . No disrespect, but I have to jump in before you say another word.” I turned my knees toward hers. “You are not and have never been the hired help. You are my fam—the mother I never had. I don’t want you in my business, like I don’t want Mama G or Pops, and damn sure not my father. Hell, Ms. Murielle, you know I’m stubborn and don’t like to listen. I’m just treating you like the rest of my fam.”
A grudging smile traced her lips. “Well, you’re still going to listen. Whether you take heed will be up to you.”
I settled back in the seat and reclined it. “I’m listening.”
She promptly pushed the button to have me sit up. “It’s time to live again. It’s been a month of wallowing, and it ends tonight. Yes, I went behind your back because I didn’t know what else to do.” She tugged on my scraggly beard and uncombed hair. “This isn’t you. The crash scared you as much as it scared all of us. But you aren’t motivated because you don’t have Kensie.”
“She told me she was done with me, and she’s not coming back to me.”
“Of course, she did. She caught you with your ex; she probably took it as a sign that you and she don’t belong together.”
“Isn’t it? Think about it. Kensie justhappensto show up when Emme is here?”
Her forehead puckered. “You want to be with Emme?”
“Fuck no.” I grinned sheepishly. “Excuse my language.”
Ms. Murielle arched one brow.
“Seriously, she snuck up here, and I told her to move on. Then Kensie showed up, saw us outside my place, and wouldn’t give me a chance to explain. Nothing happened between me and Emme. I wouldn’t let her in here. And after Kensie left, I refused to talk to Emme and left her standing outside.”
“Then how is it a sign?” she exasperatedly asked.
“That we both have been hurt in the past and don’t trust each other. We wouldn’t work anyway. She hated me for so long.”
“Canaan, she isn’t your mother, who carelessly traded one life for another. Kensie wants to be there for you, and she isn’t going to abandon you if you let her back in.” Ms. Murielle grabbed my hand. “She isn’t your mother because she loves you for you. You are enough. Kensie is enough.”
Tears sprang into my eyes, and I dropped my head.
“Listen to your gut and ask yourself if Kensie is worth the risk of a second chance. All I know is that I had the greatest love for over thirty years, and if we hadn’t seen the people we really were through each other’s shortcomings, I wouldn’t have taken a risk. And what a damn shame that would’ve been not to experience a love like that.” She kissed my forehead before standing up. “Regardless of whether you and she can move on, or whether you ever race again, it’s still time for you to get back out there.”
Long after Ms. Murielle left the room, I stared at the picture of us.
Chapter 32
