“I know. You made me believe in myself, and I’ll always love you for it.” He rested his forehead against mine.
“Love you too.” We both sighed with longing before he straightened and continued eating.
“I miss our friendship, too. Tatianna understands running as I do. We have the same love and drive for it. Yet she doesn’t get me. Or I should say she doesn’t get all of me. Does that make sense?”
I sipped on the strong Coke. “Carter and I get each other when it involves our children and even our marriage. Still, he doesn’t quite get me. I thought he did until he found ways to delay me opening a pharmacy or working. I wanted to work in a hospital or a CVS, and he convinced me he and the children needed me more. Meanwhile, I was slowly losing myself. Being here with you reminds me I’m still a woman, not just Carter’s wife and mother to my children.”
“How old are they? Twins, right?” He wiped his mouth with a napkin, oblivious to the knots tightening in my stomach, and took the Coke out of my hand to gulp.
“We had them shortly after we married. They’ll be seven next year.” I gave a partial truth. They turned seven in June.
“Then Danielle did the right thing, not telling you. You were in love with him, and I would’ve made it harder for you. I guess I thought you and Carter were married much later and had children.” Grey suddenly stood and walked to the railing, staring out into the ocean and the pink and brown sky of a setting sun. “When you talk to him, make sure he tells you everything.”
“How can I know if he’s told me everything?”
“If he doesn’t mention what he and I discussed on the beach and in his condo, then I’ll tell you.”
I dropped my chicken bone in the container and placed it on the marble ground. “Why can’t you tell me now?”
He tapped the railing. “A large part of the reason you’re upset with your husband and we’re here right now barely knowing each other instead of happily married is because of me. I didn’tadmit my feelings for you and left you with a man I believed loved you, too. I brought you two back together because I didn’t want you to be alone again. I brought you two back together when I shouldn’t have done anything except be with you or remain your friend. I shouldn’t have interfered back then, and I’m not going to now.”
“This isn’t all on you, Grey. Carter and I still might have worked it out, whether you intervened or not. He did notice me before you asked him to be nice to me. He could've walked away from me, but he wanted to be with me. How can you decide who’s the man for me, like I didn’t or don’t have a say?”
Grey turned back around and gripped the rail on either side of him. He regarded me quietly. “I’m the man for you.”
“So, what Carter and I had for all these years isn’t real? The love, passion, and our family?” I balled my hands in fists. “Do I wish I married you? Yes. But I didn’t, and I don’t regret marrying Carter, even if he has a child with Chelsea. We’ve had good years for a long time.”
He reminded me, “A marriage based on lies and secrets.”
I retorted, “I thought you said we looked good together and had it together?”
Grey cocked his head. “Looks can be deceiving. I assumed you were that couple who were real with each other.”
“We are. We’re a team,” I defended hotly.
“How can you be a team when you don’t know all the players involved, Darren?” Grey snapped.
Hitting my thigh with my fist, I promised, “After this weekend, I’ll know.”
“And I hope I don’t have to tell you anything when we meet on Tuesday. I hope Carter is real with you.”
I scoffed. “You don’t want Carter to be real...you probably hope we break up.”
“Then maybe you know me as much as Tatianna knows me.” He pushed off the railing and walked back to me. “You think I want to be your consolation prize, or because you’re so devastated by Carter, you run to me to avoid pain? Do you think that’s how I want you? From what I can see, we would just repeat you and Carter.”
Tugging on his pocket, some of my growing tension released. “If I’m with you, it’s because I want to be with you and not because I can’t have Carter. I’ve never stopped loving you, so how can you say you would be my consolation prize like you really don’t mean shit to me?”
Grey kneeled before me and curved his hands to my face. “Darren, I want to be with you. Would give up a woman whom I also love for you. She’s been a good woman to me, and she knows the depth of my love for you, yet she still wants a life with me. When you asked to see me today, I thought you and he were good, and you still wanted to see me. Seeing you cry and hurt over him doesn’t make me feel good because I don’t like seeing you hurt. I’m not gloating on the inside, hoping you see me as your savior.
You have a family with him, so I understand if you want to work it out with him, no matter what he says. I just hope you stay because you love him, and it’s now based on a foundation of truth. The Darren Brown I want to be with knows I’m the man for her and won’t keep looking over her shoulder with regret and doubt, especially because you have children with him. Carter will always be a part of your life... our lives, if we get together, and I can’t spend my life with you wondering if you still want him. So, if you ever come to meandI’m not married, come correct.”
Before I could respond, my cell rang, and we both looked down. A close-up picture of Elle flashed across the screen. A picture I used to represent her whenever she called me. A picture that captured how much she looked like Grey. He picked up thephone and stared at the picture. His brow deeply furrowed, and I watched nervously as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing.
Grey handed me the phone and dropped down onto the patio floor in front of me. His widened, glistening eyes were a mixture of confusion, awe, and disbelief.
“I have to take this.” I answered, “Hey, sweetie.”
Elle spoke in a rush, “Mama, Daddy just came home, and he’s wondering where you are. I thought you were taking a trip together?”
“It got canceled, baby. Did he ask you to call me?”
“No, I’m in my room. He seems upset, and he’s talking to Grandma right now. Where are you?”
“I’m on my way home, okay? If Daddy asks again, tell him I’ll be there soon.” We said our goodbyes, and I clicked off the phone, bracing myself for the first bands of a hurricane about to strike my family.
“She looks exactly like me. Why?” Grey whispered while slow tears fell from his glistening eyes.
“Because she’s your baby,” I finally confessed before I sank to the marble floor with him, wondering if he still felt like I was the one for him.
