Chapter 35
Forever is a very long time...
The alarm buzzed a second after I opened my eyes. Carter has never needed an alarm and thinks it’s hilarious that I try to beat mine. It’s a crazy challenge to see if I can wake up on time. As someone who hated mornings, I still needed something to wake me up when Carter wasn’t here. I rolled over and looked at his empty side. He would be home tonight after a victorious away game in Detroit. Our marriage worked because we had time apart and time to miss each other. With babies and his busy schedule at the beginning of our marriage, we had become each other’s best friends. Neither of us had time to cultivate new friendships. He had his teammates, and I had their wives and girlfriends when we needed a social outlet, but our introverted souls preferred home and our family. Because he’d become my lifeline in so many ways, I needed space to hold on to me. I needed space to just be Darren Brown. A space that his football career afforded.
Although I loved it when Carter was home, we had the most fun when he was away. The children and I would sleep in one of the guest rooms together, watch movies, and eat popcorn and juice all night on the weekends when he traveled. He’d forbid the children from our bed, and I honored that even when he wasn’t home. He ate clean and wanted us to follow, which I didn’t honor. What was life without junk food?
I was the fun parent, though Carter could be fun and loving during the off-season. He had certain ideals and expectations forour children and was firmer with them, which worked for our family. I’d grown up similarly in a household where my father had been the disciplinarian and my mother the nurturer. Carter didn’t grow up with his father, though he knew and tolerated the man who only called when he needed money. Carter was determined to be the opposite of his deadbeat father and was an involved parent.
Carter wanted our children to be the brightest in school. To strive to be the best in whatever extracurricular activity they preferred. Ethyn loved music and was learning to play percussion instruments such as the acoustic piano and drums. Elle hadn’t yet found her strengths after hating gymnastics, dance, and music, and she couldn’t draw at all. Neither desired to participate in sports, which suited Carter just fine as long as they did something other than school.
The snooze buzzed. Instead of getting up to help the children prepare for school, I rolled over. Waking them up was a chore in itself, especially for my son. Ethyn hated school or anything that took him away from his electronics. Elle was the opposite and a social butterfly. She loved school so she could see her friends. I often wondered whether she was even Grey’s child, considering their personalities. Grey had been the least social of me, him, and Carter. But she had his raw honesty and practicality.
My knee bumped my laptop on the bed beside me as I tried to get more comfortable. I’d fallen asleep submitting notes for my online psychopharmacological course. I had been studying up on the latest drugs and medical interventions in anticipation of opening my own drugstore. Carter supported my dream condescendingly, as if indulging one of his children. He didn’t see the point when I could do anything I wanted. He didn’t understand that being a pharmacist was exactly what I wanted to do. The wealth and fame wiped his memory of what I dreamed of doing and his own veterinary aspirations. His attitude didn'tdeter me, and I would open my store before this year ended, with or without his support.
My alarm beeped again. The children would need to be up shortly, and I wanted to call my sister and tell her about seeing Grey again. We’d played phone tag for the last three weeks since I’d seen him and Tatianna. I tried to think of them together to stop the longing to call him. I no longer had his number in my cell. Still, I knew it like the back of my hand and ached just to hear his voice.
Expecting her voicemail, I almost didn’t respond when Danielle picked up on the third ring. “I swear I wanted to call you first.”
I smiled. “I believe you. We’ve all been busy.”
“Yes, but I have been busting at the seams to tell you who I saw.” The sound of running water, probably the bathroom sink, clouded her words.
“Me too.” I pushed up to rest on my pearl white satin headboard.
“Did we see the same person?” Danielle asked before I heard her gargling. She and her husband owned a law firm and were probably on their way to work. Carter funded her firm three years ago, and she’d paid him back, though he’d gifted it to her. Danielle didn’t like feeling like she owed anybody.
"I highly doubt it. Grey probably doesn’t hang out in Houston unless he’s with his new fiancée, Tatianna. I think she’s from Houston,” I replied off-handedly.
She screamed, “You saw Grey, and he’s engaged? Do you know the woman?”
“He was seeing her during the time we...” Thoughts of how we’d been so intimate flooded my brain, and I quickly stopped the flow. “Let’s just say she was his teammate in college and apparently his woman sometime after college.”
“Grey had a woman in college? Where did you see him, and was Carter with you? Is that why you’re calling me, because Carter finally kicked Grey’s ass?”
My sister was the only person with whom I could confide about the mess of my life I’d made back then when I’d fallen for two men. She’d been supportive when Carter and I decided we wouldn’t tell Grey anything...that Elle was Carter’s child just as much as Ethyn.
“You're too much, Dani. They didn’t fight.” I rolled my eyes. “Grey kept women and never had a girlfriend in college. I saw him at an ESPN party, and yes, I was with Carter. Attitude and all. He practically dragged me away from Grey.”
She scoffed. “Can you blame Carter? You did leave him for Grey while he was in the hospital?”
I groaned in frustration at being made to look like a horrible person in Carter's and my sister's version of events. “That sounds worse than what happened.”
“But it is what happened.”
“Why do you and Carter forget that at the time I found out he’d been seeing Chelsea, and that I actually heard them having sex before I knew it was her? And...and when I left him, I already knew Carter’s injury was minor...and that he was the one who told me to get the fuck on. Huh? Do you remember that part?”
“I remember it all. I’m just saying that Carter knows you have a weakness for Grey. You’re so damn lucky that man forgave you and married you anyway.”
“Moving on...” I drawled, knowing she was Team Carter and he could do no wrong.
“Before we move on from the past...that’s who I saw.”
“Who did you see?” I checked the watch. Still had twenty minutes before I needed to go.
“Chelsea.”
I gasped, “Speak of the devil...When?” I haven’t spoken to Chelsea since I caught her and her ex-boyfriend having sex in the condo, and the ugly truth came tumbling out.
