Chapter 34
Thoughts of us.
“He is my husband. We often speak for each other,” I replied, not quite smartly.
“Like we used to for each other.” Grey dropped his hands from my shoulders when I turned around. His lips curved into an admiring smile. “You’ve grown to be more beautiful than I imagined.”
“Thank you.” I blushed. He wasn’t the man to give compliments often. At least not to me. “You’re looking good, too, for your old age.”
“Watch it. I’m just four months older.” His easy grin flamed my heart.
We were standing too close, yet I didn’t want to take a step away from him. The valet was on a call from my peripheral, trying to hunt down Carter’s car. A couple had just dropped off their car and hurried inside.
He tilted his head. “I used to think you were the prettiest girl in high school.”
I grinned despite my best intentions not to. “You never told me that.”
“Best friends don’t say that kind of stuff.” He lifted his brows. His light brown skin had reddened over the years, giving him a natural glow even in the moonlight and the pale light of the museum entrance. I noticed the laugh lines around his eyes. He used to be so grumpy. Something told me he was happier now.Then again, he had accomplished what most people never even dared to dream.
“We weren’t best friends the last time we saw each other.” I reminded him, and I rubbed my stomach, which suddenly ached. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
Grey glanced at my rubbing hand and frowned. “I told myself that if I saw you again, I would be honest about everything I ever thought about you and about us...well, if Carter wasn’t around.”
“Why?” I asked, though the glint in his eyes suggested it wouldn’t be a good idea. Horrible idea. Yet, I had to know.
“So, you would know I had a wicked crush on you from the moment you beat me running when we were kids. I fell in love with you the first time you fell asleep in my bed, freshman year in college. So, you would know that everything I ever did was to be close to you, hoping you would see me like I always saw you,” he said as he gazed into my eyes. “I know I don’t have the right to say that to you, but you had to know.”
“Why?” My voice was barely a whisper.
“Mrs. St. Patrick, your car will be here soon.” The valet tossed Carter’s key in the air before he jogged off to retrieve the car.
His interruption was enough to break the intimate bubble we’d created where no one existed except Grey and me. I stepped back. “It doesn’t matter now. We can’t stay in the past.”
“I can tell it still matters.” He stepped closer, and I retreated with my hands out, stopping him.
“Same old Grey. One thing I realized after you left was how selfish you were. Fucking with my heart when you knew I was falling for Carter. You can’t come back into my life and disrupt shit because now you’ve accomplished your goals.” I shook my head. “Carter has been there for me. He never left me, especially when....” I stopped before confessing about the twins. “What you’re doing right now is foul, Grey. I’m married, and he’ll be back soon. So please go.”
“I’m sorry. I’m fucking up this conversation because I want to say so much with so little time.” He tried to touch my wrist, and I jerked away. “I’m not trying to anger you. I meant we still matter to each other. Please. I have to see you again.”
“That’s impossible. I don’t cheat on my husband.” I folded my arms, keeping an eye on the door for Carter and for anyone who may be paying attention to Carter’s wife and Grant Jameson. We were alone after the valet left to park a car.
He held his hands up and sputtered, “I’m not trying to get with you or disrupt shit. I just want to talk to you and catch up. Above anything else, we were best friends for seven years. You knew everything about me, and I knew everything about you. I cried when I won my gold medal because you couldn’t share it with me. Sometimes, I hate that you ever knew I was in love with you. Then we could still be friends. We could still share our lives.”
I closed my eyes briefly because I understood that deep chasm of loss. We used to dream together about celebrating his gold medal, and when I opened my drugstore. ”Even if we remained friends once I married, we couldn’t be the same type of friends anyway. I share my life with Carter. I don’t regret the love you and I shared. At all. Not even after you broke my heart.”
His forehead furrowed. “You broke mine first. By fucking Carter a day after you gave it up to me. Deep down, I knew you would never love me like you love him, so I left and didn’t look back. Except I never stopped thinking of you.”
I glanced around the parking area. “We can’t talk like this out here.”
Grey implored, “Then meet me somewhere...anywhere.”
Shaking my head vehemently more to deny myself than to deny his request, I replied, hating the yearning in my tone, “I can’t.”
He grabbed my forearms and looked down at me. “Because you’re scared of your feelings for me or because you love Carter that much?”
“Why are you being this way?”
“What? Aggressive? Bold? Don’t give a fuck if Carter sees me? I’m being this way because I was too much of a coward to claim you when I had a chance. I was about to do that shit again. Pretend that all I want from you is friendship. I’m not walking away from you again if you still love me.”
