He snorted and gave a half-smile.
“Okay, to prove I want to move forward....” I climbed out of bed.
“Thought we weren’t leaving this bed...not even to piss?”
I tossed the middle finger. “Hush, man. I’m making a point. Did you bring my black mesh bag from next door?”
“Yeah, it’s in the living room.”
I found the bag, pulled out the card and bear, and returned to his bed. After I returned and pulled the covers over me, I passed him the card. “Tear it up.”
“You don’t want to read it?” He held it up.
“No. There’s nothing Chelsea can say that will make me forgive her.”
“What if there’s some shit about me?”
I kissed his cheek, and he blushed. “I can’t expect you to forgive me for Grey if I can’t forgive you for Chelsea.”
Carter fingered the card. “I don’t know. Think you need to read it. She was your friend for years.”
“Was my friend, and I probably won’t believe what she says about you. Tear it, or I will.” I lunged for it, and he held it higher, and I fell into him.
His gaze drifted to my lips, and he inhaled deeply before pushing me gently away. He took the card and ripped it into pieces. The remains of Chelsea’s apology/confession note landed between us.
“Can we move forward?” I asked him, ignoring the sting of his rejection. He didn’t want to kiss me and hadn’t been remotely flirty or naughty in our interactions, which had never been the case between him and me in the weeks we’d known each other. Then again, this was a lot, and I’m grateful that he’d been there for me when Grey left.
“Why didn’t you tell Grey you were pregnant?” This time, he met my gaze. Steady. Unwavering. Ready to hear my answer.
“Because he would’ve turned the Olympics down to be here with me.”
“And why would he do that when I’m here?” He held his hand up. “Please don’t piss me off by saying you didn’t think I would be here for my baby when I’ve made that abundantly clear that I would be there for you and my baby.”
I took a deep breath and admitted, “There’s a small chance it’s his. The first time we slept together was the day before my birthday.”
“You were a virgin?” The lines in his forehead increased.
“Yeah. Wanted you to be the first. I thought you stood me up, and he was there for me.”
Carter’s eyes shut tight for a long time, and then he eased out of bed and walked out of the bedroom. It was too much for him.
This time, he left me, and I couldn’t blame him at all.
THE NEXT DAY, I SATalone in the doctor’s waiting room, thinking about yesterday. Instead of tears, once he left without another word to me, I showered, dressed, gathered my things, and took an Uber to my sister’s place to join the family. I told my family that Carter wanted to spend the holiday with his family, and I preferred mine. They never questioned me because they also preferred me to be with them. I hid my true sadness, even from Danielle’s watchful eyes. I wanted to be normal and happy with my family, and that was what I did.
Now, seeing the other women with their partners, I willed myself to remain strong and that I wouldn’t be alone in this journey to motherhood. My sister and family would be there even if the father of my child wouldn’t. I held my stomach and swore to my unborn child that no matter what, we would be fine. Maybe once I had the baby and did a paternity test, Carter would come back around if the baby was his. If it were Grey’s, I would wait until after the Olympics to tell him.
When the nurse announced my name, I rose with a timid smile. No turning back. I would find out the potential birthdate and maybe hear the heartbeat. As the door closed behind me, I heard a familiar voice yell, “Wait. I’m with her.”
I wanted to jump and shout when she opened the door, and Carter stood on the other side with a nervous smile. I said, “I didn’t think you were going to be here with me. Didn’t think you would be here, period.”
“I didn’t either at first. I fought with myself during Thanksgiving dinner. Barely paying attention to my family, I couldn’t sleep all night. Realized this morning that I could let go of the past and move forward with you, and I didn’t want you to go through this appointment alone. I kissed my Mama, told her I’d make it up to her for Christmas, and drove straight here. I love you, and that means we weather the storm together.” He hugged me to him. “We’re in the middle of the perfect storm, andI won’t let us drown. I told you I wasn’t going anywhere and that we would work it out. I meant that.”
The nurse cleared her throat, reminding us that she and the whole office watched our own reality show. She grinned at Carter and looked at me. “Girl, you better hang on to him. He fine, and he talking right.”
“I think I will.” I laughed as Carter grabbed me up in a big hug, lifting me off my feet.
We were already one step closer to forever.
