“Can you stay out of me and Carter’s business, please?” I said, frustration lacing my tone. I knew what Grey was doing. He worried about how I would handle the end of us and didn’t want to leave me alone.
“For fuck’s sake,” Carter agreed. “She can answer for herself.”
Grey held his hands up.
“I know you mean well, but if Carter and I work out, that’s between us,” I addressed Grey before I looked at Carter. “I swear that I planned to call you Friday, and if you didn’t want to talk, I would’ve accepted it.” I turned and headed toward the door. “Once I say goodbye to Grey, I’ll come back upstairs.”
I stomped down the stairs with folded arms and leaned against Grey’s car. Grey jogged down a few seconds later. I hit him in the chest when he approached me. “I know what you’re doing, and you don’t have to. I’ll be fine whether I’m with Carter or alone.”
He whistled for a second and averted his gaze to his shoes. “For seven years, I’ve been there for you and taken care of you.We haven’t been apart for more than a few days since we’ve known each other, and this is harder than I thought.
I tugged on the edge of his shirt. “This is hard for me, too. I could tell you, let’s stay in touch and be friends, but it won’t work because I know and love you. I’m not waiting for you, Grey. I have to live my life, and you have to live yours.”
Grey ducked his head, nodding. “I keep fucking up with you. I promised you something I still can’t deliver, and I wanted to do right by you, so I asked him to come. He doesn’t know you’ve been with me, so you don’t have to tell him.”
I shook my head vehemently. “No. I’m going to be honest with him.”
Grey looked up. “Then you’ll lose him.”
“I might have already lost him, and even if I do, I’ll live. You did do right by me, Grey. You love and have loved me for years, and that’s enough.” I picked up his hands. “I don’t know what the future holds. Once you finish living your dream and you finally want what I want, and if I’m still single, we’ll see. But for now, my best friend and my heart run free and without guilt. I’m good.”
“Never forget that you’re my dream, too.” He gathered me in his arms, and we held each other tight. I finally had the strength to pull away first and pulled his chin down to press my lips against his for what might be the last time ever. I tasted his tears, or maybe they were mine. Grey lifted his head, tears staining his caramel skin. “Until I see you again.”
“Yeah.” I backed up and stood on the sidewalk until I couldn’t see his taillights. And all my courage and bravado dissipated in the wind, and I tried to take a step and couldn’t. I sank to the curb, grabbed my knees, and cried. I don’t know how long I remained stuck in place, afraid to move because I no longer had Grey. He’d been a part of me for so long that I’d taken his presence...his being there for granted. My chest burned like fire,and I rubbed, trying desperately to soothe the pain that wracked my body. I wanted to scream and yell. Tell him I’d wait for him forever. Beg him to come back, and we could be friends, lovers, or whatever he needed me to be. How could I really go on without him?
Suddenly, warm and strong arms wrapped around me, picked me up, and carried me back up the stairs. No questions asked or anger that I cried over another man. Carter didn’t put me down until we were in his bed, and he took off my shoes and kicked off his. We were fully clothed, and he held me as a friend and not a lover. He reassured me that he wasn’t going anywhere and that I could cry as long as I needed.
This was love. Carter was love.
I sobbed even harder because Grey knew what I needed more than I did.
