Chapter 27
I just need a moment.
Blood rushed to my head, and I leaned against the wall for balance. I thought about how Grey would make snide comments about Carter whenever I gushed about him. He warned me to be careful because he knew he’d asked Carter to talk to me, that whatever flirting or energy passed between Carter and me wasn’t real. “Grey used to accuse me of being in a fantasy world. I fell for you so fast because of how you were with me. You were like my fantasy come true. And now I know it wasn’t real.”
“It was real...we are real.” Carter pulled me back close. “Listen, let me get out of here first, and we’ll talk like we planned. This isn’t the place. Doctors and nurses are coming in and out, and I can’t talk the way I want to. I need you to hear me. Don’t make any decisions before we really talk, okay?”
I removed my hand from his, backing away from him again. “I don’t even know if I want to talk to you or anyone anymore. The people I trust and love more than anything have secrets. Secrets that involve me, and I can’t be around dishonesty.”
He shifted in bed and snipped, “Oh, now you can’t be around me? Because you’re so honest, right?”
I touched my churning stomach. “I am.”
Carter shook his head before his jaw tightened. “Our relationship started with a lie. You pretended to be with Grey, remember?”
“You assumed that,” I quipped as I crossed my arms.
“Naw...you went with that when you could’ve corrected me at any point. I thought you and Grey were playing this weird sex game. He was spending nights out, and you were trying to fuck me, but I still thought you were together. I purposely stayed away after seeing you and him together because it hurt. I caught feelings and didn’t just want to be that dude on the side like I’d been to Chelsea. I wanted you to be mine, and you could’ve saved me weeks of anguish if you’d been honest with me. But I forgave everything, even knowing you live with a man you’ve had sex with who still wants you. Don’t I deserve the same?”
“It’s different, and you know that, Carter. I owned up to my feelings about Grey when you asked me. Meanwhile, I find out that you are the reason she and her man broke up. How can I trust that you haven’t been with her since you’ve been with me? Would you have ever told me if Grey didn’t force the issue?”
He stared back, and the slight wilt of his body gave me my answer.
I clenched my fists. “Now that I know you’ll be fine, I’m out.”
“And what about the baby?” He asked quietly.
“What?” My breath quickened, and I resisted the urge to touch my stomach.
“You’re pregnant.” He tilted his head, assessing me. “We’re together almost twenty-four-seven. I know your body. You haven’t had a period, and you’re throwing up. You keep holding your belly. So, no, you’re not out. I can respect that you don’t want to deal with me now, but we will talk. And wewillwork it out. I grew up without a daddy, and I’m not putting my child through that. Do whatever you need to do to get over yourself and call me.”
I stepped closer to the bed. “Get over myself?”
Carter pushed himself up higher. “Yeah. In this whole fucked up scenario, I did nothing wrong. Except being scared to tell you the truth about your so-called best friends. I didn’t know Chelseawas your friend or that she fucking moved next door. You never mentioned her name to me until you introduced herafteryou and I got together.” He clapped the back of his hand in the other. “And let’s not talk about your golden boy. Grey put me up to talk to you, and then talked about me behind my back. Tried to make me look like shit, so he’s always the better man in your eyes. I’ve been good to you. Not afraid to claim you in front of the damn school and my family. Tell you I want to marry you. Yet you’re ready to bounce without giving me a chance to explain myself or tell me you’re pregnant like you’re just done with me.”
Our chests heaved with frustration, emotion, and even passion as we glared at each other. We’d probably have had rough sex by now if we were anywhere but a hospital. Correction. If he wasn’t recovering because Carter had no qualms about dragging me to the bathroom. Feeling the heat rise between us, I dropped my gaze. Desire and lust had wracked my brain for the last three months, between being with Carter and thoughts I still had of Grey. The highs of new love for Carter blinded me to how the three of them always seemed uncomfortable around each other. I chalked it up to him just not being comfortable with my friends. In reality, each walked on eggshells around me, scared someone would spill the secrets first.
Finally, Carter quietly demanded, “Admit you’re with me because he doesn’t want you the way I do? And you’re ready to leave me now that he does. He told me that last night. Asked me to let you go if I wasn’t serious about you because he wants to be with you now. Like I’m a fucking joke. Like we’re not really together, or that I could genuinely love you. The only reason I didn’t kill the son of a bitch was because of you. And I don’t even know why I keep doing this to myself.” He chided, “You were waiting for the moment to jump ship, and now’s your chance. Bet he’s waiting for you to call him. Bet you’re about to run to him once you leave here.”
I raised my eyes to his hurt and angry ones. I didn’t have anything left to say. Too numb to even challenge his words. I did want to talk to Grey and hear his side. To hear what he wanted from me. It didn’t mean I would choose Grey.How could I explain that my heart had room for both without hurting Carter more?
His eyes flashed fire, and his voice trembled, “Tell me I’m fucking wrong. Be honest for once in your fucking life about how you feel about Grey. You love him more than me. Just say it, and we can both move on.”
At my continued silence, he waved his hand dismissively, “Get the fuck on, then. But I’m not giving up my baby.”
I wanted to scream and yell about the impossibility of it all, resenting that I couldn’t just walk away from him if that was what I truly wanted. We were bonded by the new life growing inside of me. There was a small chance it was Grey’s. Yet, my spirit spoke that it was Carter’s. “You do know you’re making this so much easier to leave. You're never going to believe that I can be and have been loyal to you and only you. Doesn’t matter that as pissed as I was and wanted to curse you because you fucked Chelsea...that I actually heard you have sex one night...” I shuddered at the memory as I grabbed the knob. “But when I walked through this door, I only saw you. The man I love and have been in love with. I was happy to be in your arms and didn’t want to deal with anything but be with you. For the record, I love you more. Grey does have a piece of me that won’t go away. It doesn’t mean I can’t fully be with or love you forever. I don’t know what else to say to you whenIhaven’t done anything wrong except unintentionally hurt you. So,youget the fuck on.” I swung the door open and stormed out, needing to be away from him. Needing to be away from him just to be.
I walked briskly back to the waiting room. Chase and Ms. St. Patrick looked worried when I called my sister’s name and toldher it was time to go. I bent to hug them and reassured them that though I had words with Carter, he was fine. We were fine. Just needed some space.
Danielle frowned as she hugged them and headed toward the entrance.
Ms. St. Patrick held my forearm. “Can I have a second?”
I inhaled, bracing myself for some smart comment or gloat. “Yes, Ma’am.”
She pulled me to the corner of the room. “Don’t leave him. I know my son, and he loves you.”
“There are some things we’re working through,” I started.
