Epilogue
Ten Years Later
“Everything all moved in?” I asked my son as I sat before my vanity, performing my morning cleansing routine.
“Yeah. This is my first day off from work. I’ll spend the day getting my apartment organized. Everything should be in place by the time school starts again if that’s what you're worried about. I won’t let my grades suffer like I promised.” His deep voice was earnest, unlike the callous, sarcastic tone he usually used.
Ethyn had been troubled and defiant since the divorce. Our charming and self-absorbed son had become sullen and difficult. He maintained decent enough grades but had distanced himself from everyone except Elle. He rarely spoke with anyone, and when he did, negativity oozed from his pores. Although he didn’t blame me for the divorce, he took the bulk of his anger and disappointment out on me. Ethyn resented Carter the most, and whenever he went to stay with his father, he would retreat to his room and leave only when he was hungry or needed to use the bathroom. Finally, last year, Carter had told Ethyn that if he didn’t want to visit him, Carter wouldn’t force it. Since then, he’d only seen his father during major holidays, much to Carter’s frustration. This past October, the two had a huge argument about Ethyn’s insistence on moving to his own apartment. I had to stand between them quickly when I thought Carter might hit Ethyn for his disrespect.
“Did you at least tell your father that you’re not going to brunch with him and Elle?”
“No. I didn’t want to hear his mouth because I didn’t tell him I moved out either.”
“E.” I slapped the counter. “You told me you would speak to him, and I trusted you to tell him. It’s been almost a month.”
“It’s my money, and I don’t owe him sh...nothing.” He corrected himself. “Ma, he’s going to trip like always when it’s not his way. I work after school and on weekends at the sound studio, and I keep my grades up. He doesn’t live with us anyway.”
“He’s still your father. It might be your money, but I signed the lease since you’re not eighteen yet. Do I need to go back on my word, too?”
He grunted, “I’m not coming home, Ma, even if you change your mind.”
“I don’t respond to threats.” At the sucking of his teeth, I threatened, “Try me. I only allowed you to move out now since you’ll be gone in six months to college, and you seemed so unhappy with me.” My voice broke, though I’d tried to hide how his decision to leave hurt.
“Ma, it’s not you. It’s everything. Just want to be on my own to figure out life for myself and not what Daddy wants for me.”
“If you’re grown enough to live on your own, you're grown enough to talk to your father.”
He sighed, “I’ll call him later today.”
“I’m serious, E.”
“Alright.”
“And you better keep your place stocked with condoms.”
“Ma, I’m not talking about this with you.”
“You won’t talk to your daddy, and I’m damn sure not ready to be a grandmother for one of these girls trying to be on the come up with you. Wrap it up.” Ethyn had grown up to bea replica of his charming and handsome father, and he had attracted girls without trying.
“Jeez. Ma. Got it. You sound like Grandma.”
“Don’t remind me.” I chuckled, and it felt good to hear his laughter, too. Ethyn always defended me when my former mother-in-law would make snide comments. “Call me later, here? I miss you.”
“Yeah. Bye, Ma.”
“Love you,” I said out of habit, not expecting a response.
“Love you, too,” Ethyn replied before the phone went silent.
Holding back tears, I held the phone to my chest, hoping that this was a sign I was getting my son back.
“Mama, Daddy will be here any minute, and you still haven’t pinned my hair up for me. You’re going to make me late,” Elle whined as she poked her head in my bathroom. My eyes captured her hazel ones in the mirror. Her expression softened, and she came to stand beside me. She was now taller than me. “It’s alright. I’m still here.”
I leaned my head on her strong shoulder. She’d grown into a striking young woman, attracting attention when she entered a room. Partly grooming and mostly genetics. Her hazel eyes, seemingly changed colors like her father’s, contrasted with her dark brown skin. Years of running under the sun deepened the reds and browns in her skin. She kept her hair in thin cornrows or braids and wore her Olympic ambitions on her sleeve, much like her father did. Elle had become more internally focused and less social. She preferred to study and run. Friends and even dating had taken a back seat, much to my dismay. I wanted her to enjoy life more. Grey had to remind me often that running and competing were fun for Elle, as they had been for him. They were a dynamic team destined for greatness as the first black father and daughter to win medals in the same track events.
“It’s still hard for me to accept that Ethyn would choose now to move away. The Christmas holidays are here, and he wants to leave when the whole family is in and out.” I shifted so that she could sit in the chair. I grabbed a handful of her shoulder-length braids and placed a band around them.
“He feels most alone when the whole family is here, like he no longer belongs,” Elle quietly said.
