My heart pounded almost out of my chest. “How can I accept responsibility for my role when the very people I’m supposed to trust lied to me?” I placed my hands on my hips. “Chelsea, you were supposed to be my best friend, and you kept the fact that you were in love with Carter a secret because your ego couldn’t believe he would ever fall for me. Do you know how narcissistic you sound? I knew you were selfish, but I thought you truly cared about me. I thought you saw my worth and believed any man would be glad to have me, including Carter.
I am sorry you had a miscarriage alone and that Carter was a straight-up asshole to you. No woman deserves that. But asking him to be the father of your child was another way to get back at me. You played on his guilt and his kindness.” I walked closer to her and pointed at her face. “I know you more than he does. He might have thought he was helping you and washing away his sins. Instead, this was another way for you to get at me because you couldn’t stand that I beat you being me. That a superstar athlete who’s supposed to choose you chose me.” I snorted, “Making sure my sister told me she saw you and your son. Dropping seeds to Grey so he would tell me that Carter is yourchild’s father, and I would know. All games that Carter, bless his heart, is too blind to see.”
She shook her head and retorted, “I’m not playing games. I wanted you to know from the beginning. Not to get back at you...I didn’t want any more secrets. Yes, maybe I shouldn’t have asked him to be the father of my baby, but I did. I wanted what I lost. A baby boy. And yeah, maybe I always wanted a bit of Carter. You don’t know how it felt to be alone and pregnant for a man who acted like you were shit simply because he fell in love with someone else. And then, once I let go of him and was prepared to be a single mother like so many other women before me, I lost my baby.” Her voice trembled, “I’d bonded with my baby for sixteen weeks, and I lost him on New Year’s Day. I didn’t know you were pregnant until graduation, standing next to Carter, wearing an engagement ring. All the grief and loss came back with a vengeance. Karma was a real bitch to me, and I don’t want that type of karma to ever hit my doorstep again.
So, when I asked Carter to donate his sperm, he first said that it was a commitment he couldn’t make. When I told him he wouldn’t have to be involved...that he could sign away his rights, and that he would be like a sperm donor because I had a committed partner in Joi. He started considering it, and I urged him to speak to you before deciding. Carter responded that you didn’t have to know since he would be a donor.”
“Then why are you all this happy family?" Another thought popped into my head as I asked, "Are you the reason he wants a trade to Dallas?”
Her forehead wrinkled. “I didn't know he wanted to move. We still live in Houston. Maybe he really just wants to be near his family and play for the Cowboys." She stepped closer to me. "He's Sekani's father figure, but he isn't the head of our household. We may see him four or five times a year. Once we realized that Sekani has sickle cell, Carter said he wanted to bethere for us, and with his money, our son wouldn’t suffer as his brother had. So far, Sekani rarely has to be hospitalized.” Tears sprang from her eyes and melted some of my ice.
I didn't want to feel for Chelsea, but I did. I'd seen Carter's brother sick, and it was heart-wrenching. “All right. We agree to disagree about your motives. Regardless, I won’t interfere with whatever relationship Carter has with Sekani. He’s a beautiful boy who adores Carter, and Carter loves him too. I have babies, and I know a mother wants their children to be happy. I won't take that smile from Sekani. I wish I could say it was nice seeing you again.” I picked up my bag.
Chelsea stepped in my path. “I do miss you. Can we at least try to be friends again? I want to tell you about Joi and how my life has changed. I want to hear about yours.”
“You probably know about my life since you and Carter are best friends now," I replied sarcastically.
"We don't talk about you. It's about Sekani," she replied quietly. "Just want you to know I'm a better person, too."
"I can see your life is different...a lot different...can even see you’re happier. I don't know about better.” I lifted my bag higher and tilted my head, assessing the woman who’d been my ride or die until she wasn’t. “Just because I have more fight and sass and landed the rich man you wanted, andnowyou respect me, doesn’t change that I’m the same Darren Brown who loved you just as you were. I just wish you loved me as I was, too. After today, I don’t know if you’ll see much of me anyway. All of this is a lot, and Carter has lied to me for far too long to know if I should ever trust him again. But at least I can move forward with some clarity.”
As I turned the handle, she touched my shoulder gently. “Carter loves you, regardless of how all this looks. He came to the appointment with us today because he knew a lot about the disease and wanted to help in any way he could. He doesn’t wantme, and I’ve long moved on from him. Please don’t leave him over this. Everything he did was to make up for his mistakes with women. I’m fighting for your marriage on his behalf because he deserves to be happy. He’s been there for Sekani, although he’s not obligated to be there. We don’t ask for or need his money, though he’s been paying for his treatment. Carter’s a solid man my family can rely on.”
“Like a rock, right?” I asked without looking at her. My heart ached that he didn’t trust me enough to share a large part of his life. The part he kept from me all these years hadn't been his heart.
It was another family.
“Yeah.” She exhaled.
I nodded and walked out the door. I stepped into the elevator and texted Carter.
Carter waited in the same bar. This time, he’d attracted a small crowd who wanted selfies and autographs. When he noticed me, he took one more pic with a fan and jogged toward me. “Can we go home and talk?”
I looked at him. Tall, dark, well-groomed, fit, and handsome. My chocolate dream. Yet, he wasn’t quite the same man and hadn’t been in a few months...correction...years. The lies. The emotional distance. Wanting to move to Dallas. Creating another family. He was searching for happiness.Carter may want this marriage and our family, but did he really want me?
Carter tapped his shoe against my shoe. “Like get in bed with our backs against the headboard and figure if we can get through all this.”
I nudged his shoe back and willed my tears not to fall. “It’s all I wanted to do from the very beginning, Carter.”
He sighed. “I know.”
I admitted softly, “I don’t look at you the same. Even if you were honest with me last night, you stopped being my Carterwhen you came home late, refusing to explain yourself. Treating me like...I guess...the way you used to treat women.”
Carter looked up at the high ceiling and back down at me. His dark eyes were yet resigned. “Is this your way of saying we’re done?”
I scanned the hotel lobby, aware of watching eyes as we discussed our troubled marriage publicly. “We’ve been together since we were twenty-one. We deserve more than a goodbye in the middle of a hotel. So, instead of talking more tonight, let’s watch some reruns ofThis is Usand chill. Think I need some time to process, okay?”
His lips slowly curved into a grin. “My jam. Beth and Randall. A marathon with some caramel popcorn and grape soda?”
“Yep. We need junk food and some Beth and Randall in our life.” I smiled. We used to say that we wanted a love like theirs, and maybe we should’ve focused on a love like Carter and Darren’s. “I’ll get Mama to watch the children one more night. Grey may still be with Elle. It was an amazing first meeting. I’ll call once I get in the car and see where they are and if Mama needs to go get her.” I touched his arm, wanting to soothe the pained expression on his face when I mentioned Elle and Grey. "She has room in her heart to love you both."
He nodded. "Just used to being her knight in shining armor."
"You were mine, too," I admitted softly and started for the sliding doors to the valet. Carter wrapped his arms around me from the back and kissed the side of my face. I looked over my shoulder at him. “What’s that for?”
“For loving me eight years, and if that’s all I’ll ever get, it’ll feel like a lifetime.” He then turned me in his arms to hug me, and I held on to him. His familiar cologne and strength reminded me of what we had, and of what we had probably forever lost. I slipped out of his embrace to rest my head againsthis shoulder, too afraid of the emotional dam of tears about to burst.
He placed a butterfly kiss on my forehead, and I said, “Take me home and just get my car later.”
Carter nodded and squeezed me into him.
I needed to be Mrs. Carter St. Patrick at least one more time and let him take care of me.
