“God doesn’t work that way,” he grumbles.
“Okay, fine. But just so you know, I’m planning on giving half the money to charity.”
“And you think that exonerates you from your sins?”
“I’ve made my peace with God, Daddy. Growing up listening to your sermons, you always said that was what’s most important. To make peace with Him. Honor Him. Serve Him.”
“It’s despicable. How was being a prostitute serving Him?”
“I wasn’t a prostitute.”
“You had relations with a man who was paying for your time. That’s a prostitute in anyone’s book.”
Now is when the first tear falls. Because I truly fear he’ll never come around. “You know what else I learned from you? That God forgives. I asked for His forgiveness.”
“Empty words.”
“They aren’t empty. Why can’t you understand that I don’t need to sit in a pew every Sunday to have a relationship with God? Can you honestly tell me you have no sinners in your congregation?”
“We’re all sinners, Kenna. By thought if not by action.”
“I’m not here to get into a religious debate with you.”
“No. You’re here to clear your conscience.”
“I’m here because I want her”—I point to Amelia’s photo—“to have a relationship with her grandfather. You are her only family, Daddy. Why would you take that away from her?”
He turns to Carter. “Are you a Christian?”
“Yes, sir.”
Dad scoffs. “I’m guessing if you and Kenna share the same values, you’re not the kind of Christian I’m referring to.”
“You know what?” Carter says, clearly struggling to control the volume of his voice. “I’ve had enough. I grew up with a father who belittled me, disregarded me, and had zero respect for me. I know what it’s like. You hide behind the cloth as if you’re impervious. Kenna’s not perfect. She’s made mistakes. We all have.Youhave, sir. But you need to ask yourself how you’ll feel on your death bed if you dismiss her after she’s extended an olive branch. How can a man of faith—a Christian—turn his back on his own flesh and blood over shit like this? She hasn’t hurt anyone. She’s a good person. The best mother I’ve ever met.”
Dad is rubbing his cross again. “I—”
Carter stands. “You’re a pastor. A man of God. Doesn’t that make forgiveness part of your job?”
“I’m not the one she needs to ask forgiveness from.”
“And I told you I’ve made my peace with Jesus, Daddy.” Now I’m the one struggling to contain my frustration, sadness, and volume. “What more could you ask?”
“I could ask that you follow the sacred rules of the Ten Commandments. That you not disgrace yourself or this family.”
I stand. “I’ve done what I came to do. Hate me if you must, but I love you.” He looks stunned. “Yes, Daddy. I love you. Like I said, you’re our only family. I want a relationship with you, and I hope one day Amelia will get the grandfather she deserves.” I take Carter’s hand. “And if I do marry again, I hope you’ll be there to see it, if not to give me away.”
I take something else from my purse. A check I’d made out to his church.
He sneers at it like it’s poison. “The Lord will provide. The church doesn’t need the devil’s money.”
I belt out a disheartened laugh. “Do you honestly think there’s not a single person in your congregation who hasn’t slipped lottery winnings, unscrupulous earnings, or even stolen money, into the collection plate?”
“That’s only for the Lord to know. And just so you know, He doesn’t take bribes.”
“It’s not a bribe. It’s a gift. Cash it or don’t cash it, I don’t care.” I pull Carter behind me to the door then turn around, tears falling. “Goodbye, Daddy.”
Chapter Forty-four
