“Why do you look so relieved?” I ask when he carries Amelia over to greet me.
It’s strange. We gaze deeply into each other’s eyes, but we don’t kiss. Don’t hug. It’s like neither of us wants to let Amelia in on our little secret until we’re sure we can end up together.
He does, however, reach out, take my hand, and squeeze it. “I’m just… glad you’re here.”
I tilt my head. “Where else would we be?”
He shrugs, not answering. There’s something different about the way he looks. He’s definitely not the relaxed, carefree guy I’ve come to know. Something is bothering him. I just hope that something isn’t regret. Regret over our declarations of love. Over him saying he’d uproot his life for me. A week is a long time to ruminate over crazy, impulsive decisions.
But he’s here. And when I look at him, I see nothing but love there. For Amelia. For this place. For me. The next few hours will be torture. Because tonight, after Amelia goes to bed, I’m going to finally come clean and tell him everything. And then I’m going to tell himmyplan for us to be together. I just hope that plan doesn’t have him turning on me. Because anyone and everyone would call me an idiot for what I’ve done. What I’m planning to do.
Amelia points to the yard. “Frosty melted.”
Carter puts her down and crouches. “It’s getting warmer. That means you need to stay away from the lake, okay, pumpkin? It may look frozen, but if you walk on it, the ice could break and you could fall clean through and get hurt. Promise me you won’t go near it.”
She wraps her little arms around him. “I promise.” Then she takes his hand and pulls him inside. “What do you want to play first? Go Fish or Candy Land?”
“Your choice.”
“Amelia,” I chide. “Let him breathe for a minute before you start in with the games.”
She looks between Carter and me, then studies his chest. “Heisbreathing, Mommy.”
He chuckles. “Well, she’s not wrong.”
After an hour of board and card games, I let Amelia play a video game while Carter and I make dinner. He’s going through the motions, but it’s not fun and flirty like it usually is when we make a meal together. He’s quiet. Carter isneverquiet.
I bump my hip against his. “Penny for your thoughts?”
He’s staring out the window as water boils. It’s like he doesn’t even hear me.
“Carter?” I wave a hand in front of his face.
He comes back from wherever he was with a start. “Sorry. What?”
“I was just wondering what’s eating you.”
He glances back at Amelia, who’s completely engrossed in her video game, then whispers, “It’s nothing. I don’t want to worry you with my shit.”
“Isn’t that what love is? Taking on the other person’s shit?”
Okay, so yeah, that kind of makes me a total hypocrite. But in my defense, Iamcoming clean later.
When he doesn’t respond, I ask, “Carter, are we… okay?”
He wraps an arm around my shoulder and kisses my temple. “We’re okay. It’s just been a day.”
The water is at a rolling boil, so I add pasta and set a timer. “Want to talk about it?”
His hands scrub down the sides of his face.
“Should I be worried?” I sit on a kitchen chair. “Are you having second thoughts about what we said last weekend?”
He moves around behind me and rubs my shoulders. “No. Absolutely not.” He leans close to my ear. “I probably love you even more today than I did then.”
Relief courses through me. Because while we’ve not seen each other in person this week—something I insisted on since I thought he needed to spend more time with Christian—we’ve been talking and texting a lot more than we used to.
Except for today. I hadn’t even heard from him after he sent his ‘good morning’ text along with a time of when we might expect him. He didn’t call me on his lunch break. Didn’t text me sweet emojis. Didn’t send me funny or inspirational Dr. Seuss quotes.
