Three years of being his friend, his confidante, the person who knew his coffee order and his study habits and the way he ran his hands through his hair when he was nervous. Three years of memorizing every detail about him, of being the most reliable person in his life—and he kept this from me.
The betrayal hits deep in my stomach.
“When did he pass these trials?” I ask, feeling emptier than the place in my chest where the emberlink bond used to be.
“About three weeks before Halloween.” Nina’s watching me carefully, like she’s cataloging my reaction.
Three weeks before Halloween. Three weeks of Oliver walking around with access to secret passages, and I never noticed anything different about him.
That’s not true,a small voice whispers.You noticed that he was distracted. Secretive. Always slipping away to “study” or “meet with friends.” You just didn’t want to see it.
I didn’t want to see it because I assumed he was distracted by Jade. Every time he disappeared, I told myself he was with her, falling deeper into whatever spell she’d cast on him.
I never considered that he might be keeping dark, dangerous secrets that could get him killed.
“You’re upset,” Nina says, breaking through my spiral.
“I’m...” I take a breath, forcing myself to unclench my fists. “He should have told me.”
Nina says nothing. Maybe it’s because she disagrees and can’t lie in here to make me feel better, although I doubt Nina Aldridge would ever feel a need to lie to make someone feel better.
“You said Oliver found answers inside the passages,” I say, forcing myself to focus on what matters.
“That’s what he told me the last time I saw him. But he never got a chance to share more.” She moves back to the altar, running her fingers along the carved names on the wall.
“How do I access the passages?” The question comes out before I can think better of it, because the only way to learn what Oliver discovered is to follow his footsteps and find out for myself.
By the time Nina finishes explaining the trials, my stomach is churning.
Bloodletting until you’re dizzy. Sacrificing a cherished memory. Fire that burns your soul. A journey to the Underworld to retrieve a flower from the realm of the dead.
Why would Oliver put himself through that? He’s not the type to endure torturous trials so he can walk through creepy passages alone at night. Not unless he was planning a Forge Party in those passages, which clearly wouldn’t be possible, given the terrifying trials people need to pass to access them.
“Which one did you fail?” I ask, the question slipping out before I can think better of it.
Nina’s expression flickers. “The memory sacrifice.”
I wait for her to elaborate. She doesn’t.
“You couldn’t give up a memory?”
She’s quiet for a long moment. When she finally speaks, her voice is stripped of its usual cool detachment.
“The Aldridges have spent generations documenting the histories that people in power want erased.” She straightens, her eyes fierce. “The Council has spent centuries rewriting history to suit their purposes, making people forget what they don’t want remembered so they can hold onto their version of the truth. Surrendering a memory would be agreeing that the truth is disposable, that people can be edited, and that the past is whatever those in power say it is.”
“It would feel like erasing a piece of yourself,” I say quietly.
“Yes.” Her gaze holds mine. “It was a small death I wasn’t willing to suffer.”
With that admission, I think I might understand Nina Aldridge a little bit better. Because underneath her cool calculation are lines she won’t cross and principles she won’t betray, even when it costs her.
It makes me trust her more than anything else she’s said tonight.
At the same time, I need to remain true to myself. I need to choose my actions based on whatIwant to do, and not because I’m trying to appease someone else.
“I’ll think about it,” I tell her, feeling good about the decision after I do.
Nina’s expression flickers with disappointment, there and gone too fast for me to be sure.
