“I know.” The words come out hollow, because while I know what he’s saying is true, I haven’t been able to fully process it yet. It’s too much—sometimes it’salltoo much—and I want to bury myself under the covers and take a break from my responsibilities as a goddess’s chosen champion. I want time to just beme,even if I’m not totally sure what that looks like anymore.
“Are you sure?” he asks, bringing me back into focus. “Because you made it sound like I was taking advantage of you. Like I was using my power to…” His jaw clenches so hard the muscle jumps. “I’ve never used it to manipulate you into wanting me.”
“You didn’t have time to manipulate me into wanting you,” I tell him, the truth burning out of me from deep in my soul. “I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you. I wouldn’t have kissed you during the Hydra trial if I didn’t.”
He stands there, studying me, watching me like he’s calculating outcomes. And maybe that’s exactly what he’s doing. Maybe he’s testing out different things to say to me so he can choose which reaction of mine he wants to keep.
Finally, he relaxes enough to speak.
“Do you want to know what really happened in the Drowned Tower during myexperiment?”he asks, his gaze locked on mine so intensely that I swear time is frozen around us.
My heart stutters, my breath catching. “Yes.”
He takes a step closer, and the air in the cabin seems to thin. “The first time I touched you, your lightning arced off the walls in seconds. I jumped back before you brought the building down on everyone at the party.”
I keep my gaze locked on his, holding my ground, refusing to retreat.
“The second time, I got you against the wall.” His eyes turn darker and hungrier in a way that makes my heart race. “Your power started crackling through your skin, building so much it could have killed everyone in a hundred-foot radius.”
“So you went back again.”
“Yes. I went back again.” He’s close enough now that I have to tilt my head to meet his eyes. “The third time, I figured out exactly how much I could give you to keep you on the edge without tipping you over.”
I should be angry. Iamangry.
But desire’s coiling low in my stomach, dark and liquid, responding to how he’s looking at me like I’m prey he’s already caught.
Probably because that’s exactly what I am. He caught me the moment his arms wrapped around me during the Hydra trial, when he fire traveled me to safety, and he hasn’t let go since.
His thumb traces circles on my shoulder, and electricity crackles where he touches, his pupils blowing wide. “Yes, I practiced on you,” he says, his voice dropping to gravel. “I memorized every inch of what makes you fall apart, and I’d do it again, because the alternative was letting you kill nearly everyone at that party. If you did that, the Council would have come for you, and I’ll always choose to keep you safe and alive, no matter what.”
I stare up at him, breathless. Because knowing he practiced on me and erased versions of us I’ll never remember doesn’t make me want him less. It just makes the wanting feel dangerous and forbidden, like swallowing poison and savoring the taste, and it’s taking everything I have to hold onto my anger when he’s looking at me like I’m the only thing in the world worth seeing.
“What about our first time in the Fury Loop?” I ask, somehow managing to focus. “Were you going back then, too?”
“Yes.” His hand plants on the wall beside my head, caging me in, and my heart nearly stops before resuming its racing. “Every time you got close to the edge, I’d reset time so I could keep feeling you clench around me like you’d die if I stopped.” His mouth hovers near my ear, his breath soft against my skin. “I told myself I was helping you learn control.”
“What were you really doing?” My mind buzzes, making it nearly impossible to breathe or think.
“Being greedy.” His lips brush the shell of my ear, and I shiver from the wrongness of how much I want this. “I wanted to live inside that moment forever so I could memorize every version of you falling apart until it was burned into my brain.”
“That’s...” I can’t finish the sentence. Not when he’s this close, his words painting pictures that make me ache.
“Selfish.” He pulls back, his eyes burning with raw, consuming hunger. “I’m not sorry for wanting you that badly. But I am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. That I let you think our moments together were anything other than what they were.”
“And what were they?” I hold my breath, bracing myself for anything.
“Me, unable to get enough.” His thumb slowly traces my lower lip, like he’s memorizing it, too. “Me, willing to burn through time for thirty more seconds of feeling you lose control.”
The boat rocks beneath us, the lantern sways, and my brain has officially stopped working.
I should demand more answers and explanations, but my body isn’t listening to my mind anymore. It’s responding to the dark promise in his voice, the possessive weight of his gaze, and the knowledge that he wanted me badly enough to break the laws of physics so he could stay inside me for as long as possible.
“You’re looking at me like you want to do it all over again,” I say instead.
Desire flares in his eyes—bright, sharp, and barely leashed. “And if I do?”
“Then I want you to take what you need. I want you to stop talking about it and just?—”
